mrs rubble Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 Tonight I went to a party for a friend, and who walks in? Her. We were introduced and I said "I think you know my husband, ___." All the color drained from her face and her eyes got wide. When I said that a friend asked how he was and I said we were expecting a baby and we're so excited. That felt so good. Even if things don't work out between us the fact that she knows I know who she is and that we're having a baby felt like a good revenge in a way. Really you think that you being pregnant and her knowing about it is "good revenge"??? I pity that poor unborn child. It's father is a cheat, drug abuser(let's hope the drugs haven't damaged his sperm) and physically abuses his mother and it's mother is ok with that...and refers to her baby as "revenge". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WilyWill Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 ...and refers to her baby as "revenge". What nonsense. She was hurt by her WH and wanted the OW to be just as hurt by the realization that he was a liar and scoundrel. She never referred to a baby as "revenge" and it's apparent from reading her story that she has her baby's best interests at heart. What have you been reading? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heart broke Posted January 8, 2017 Author Share Posted January 8, 2017 What nonsense. She was hurt by her WH and wanted the OW to be just as hurt by the realization that he was a liar and scoundrel. She never referred to a baby as "revenge" and it's apparent from reading her story that she has her baby's best interests at heart. What have you been reading? Thank you for understanding what I'm trying to say. I love my babies, and they inspire me to live better. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 He apologized last night, which was nice. Before anyone freaks out, that doesn't mean he gets to come home. I'm just happy I got an apology, finally. I miss him so much. That all well and good - but means very little. What have you planned for yourself to move forward? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 He apologized last night, which was nice. Before anyone freaks out, that doesn't mean he gets to come home. I'm just happy I got an apology, finally. I miss him so much. If that helps you get closure so you can move on, then great. Just please, PLEASE don't let him manipulate you into coming back home. You are doing the right thing for you and your children by not letting him move back in. It's okay to miss him and what you had in the past, but he isn't the man you married so treat this as a death of the life you once shared with him. It's gone and things can never be the same. For your own sanity, protection and well being, continue on and be strong. Your kids need a healthy you, and that means minus their dad in the house. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 I told him earlier this morning I want a divorce because I am a good person who doesn't need to be treated like a punching bag. He slammed the plate in his hand down and broke it. Then he followed me into our room and grabbed my face and said "I'm never giving you a divorce. If you ever are with another man I'll destroy your relationship and no one will have the balls to be with you." Then I asked why he cheated and he said it was because he couldn't figure out why I would want him. He's fat, he's losing his hair, he can't keep an erection (I forgot that happened a few months ago) and with her he didn't feel like such a loser. I told him those things didn't bother me... him treating me like this is the issue. I think excluding these issues he's perfect. He is handsome and funny and a good daddy... I feel so sad that I made him feel like a loser. But I will not be treated this way. You don't need his approval to divorce him! Just file and do it with a protective order! Request support money immediately. Move any money you can into your name only. He can't roadblock your future - my exH threatened me the way your H is threatening you. It didn't work mainly because I became strong woman who wouldn't take his crap he dished out. Protect yourself at all costs. Get the police involved and keep your H away from you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 ....so he apologizes, you let him come home. One 'tiny little slip & he hits you (not that hard, remember? "Don't be pathetic!") & what happens to your unborn baby? Do you believe that when he hit you it was a cold, calculated, well planned action? Do you think it was a heat of the moment loss of control? If it's the latter, what's stopping it from happening again? Will an apology stop your baby from dying? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heart broke Posted January 8, 2017 Author Share Posted January 8, 2017 ....so he apologizes, you let him come home. One 'tiny little slip & he hits you (not that hard, remember? "Don't be pathetic!") & what happens to your unborn baby? Do you believe that when he hit you it was a cold, calculated, well planned action? Do you think it was a heat of the moment loss of control? If it's the latter, what's stopping it from happening again? Will an apology stop your baby from dying? What? Did I miss something? I said the apology was nice, but it DOESN'T mean he gets to come home. If other posters could refrain from insinuating I'm setting my baby up to be killed, or that I'm stupid, I'd appreciate it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 What nonsense. She was hurt by her WH and wanted the OW to be just as hurt by the realization that he was a liar and scoundrel. She never referred to a baby as "revenge" and it's apparent from reading her story that she has her baby's best interests at heart. What have you been reading? I disagree. She is protecting her abusive ex, buying her children's affection and teaching them that it's ok to bash people, and break stuff in anger. That doesn't make a good mother in my book. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Steen719 Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 I just saw a 48 hours show about a man who killed his wife (Dennis Ott - look it up). He strangled her in a fight (witnessed by her daughter - 10 at the time), not killing her, but angry in a fight. He took her car keys and license and moved her car so she was unable to leave. It made me think of you, Heart broke. I'm sad for you that your family unit is dissolving and that you have been betrayed by the one person who should have your back. You can't change that, though, and although it hurts like the devil right now, someday you will look back at this mess and see that you did the only thing you could do to protect yourself and your children. The above woman (in 48 hours) left 2 daughters who are forever missing their mother and who still cry for her loss. Loss has affected everyone on the at some time. Your being pregnant must make it so much worse for you. But you must endure and take stock of your marriage. 1. He hit you 2. He tried to restrain your movements 3. He cheated on you 4. He uses drugs Do not become a statistic. We don't think our loved ones can be who they turn out to be, but here we all are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 What? Did I miss something? I said the apology was nice, but it DOESN'T mean he gets to come home. If other posters could refrain from insinuating I'm setting my baby up to be killed, or that I'm stupid, I'd appreciate it. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. It sounded like your resolve was faltering. I'm very pleased to see that it isn't! Like most posters here I'm sincerely concerned for your little families wellbeing. I know that this is a incredibly heartbreaking, devastating time for you. I KNOW what it's like to truly love a man who completely blind-sides. I honestly thought I knew what he was (& wasn't) capable of doing. I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heart broke Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 Perhaps it was a mistake to come here. I've got two kids who're mad at me for either kicking their dad out or not jumping straight to divorce. A husband who is obviously mad at me as well, and a baby I have to think about too. Then to come here and just basically told I'm going to get the most important people in my life killed is too much. I just can't deal with this right now. If mods could close this I would appreciate it. Thank you everyone for some insight to help my family. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
flowergirl14 Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 I think the people responding to you mean well. There are people here with years of experience. They have Seen It All. Sometimes it sounds like an attack especially to Newbies but it really is because they too have lived it. They have lived with the fall out from cheating. It never is over just because the affair has ended. Their are lasting effects of betrayal and I mean for years and years! Take a break if you need to it is a lot to deal. Just know that there are a lot of people here who can see straight through the bs. The end of the affair is just the beginning. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Please get yourself some professional counseling. You need professional guidance with all this turmoil. Hugs Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heart broke Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 Well, I've basically been called stupid, that I'm using my children, that I don't deserve my baby, that I'm going to get my children murdered, and just an all around weak individual. Yet, I haven't seen husband since he left, and while I'm privately thinking of reconciliation, I haven't said anything to him about it. I just came here for some advice, but I guess I'm just a horrible mother and person, so it probably won't work. Once again, thank you all for your help. I appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Well, I've basically been called stupid, that I'm using my children, that I don't deserve my baby, that I'm going to get my children murdered, and just an all around weak individual. Yet, I haven't seen husband since he left, and while I'm privately thinking of reconciliation, I haven't said anything to him about it. I just came here for some advice, but I guess I'm just a horrible mother and person, so it probably won't work. Once again, thank you all for your help. I appreciate it. You know who you are - you don't need approval from posters here! Stay safe and be well! Make decisions for yourself that are in your best interest LONG term. You can put posters on ignore if you don't wish to see their comments. I think most posters intend to help you but you must help yourself. Do you have a professional that could guide you in this emotional time? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 I hope you don't leave. Just take a break from this place and when you come back, only focus on the positive advice that you find helpful, ignore and don't even bother replying to those who are rude and making you feel bad. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
waterwoman Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Yes, there does seem to be some victim-blaming here! You are a woman in an confusing, heart-breaking situation dealing with things she has never dealt with before, doing your best. People here getting angry with you because you aren't instantly doing what you are told does not help. Stay strong x 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts