mimie Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 My more then a friend, less then a boyfriend and I had stopped talking the same day I met this guy (don) who seemed nice at the time. Well he and myself were friends for 2 months, we got together one day had a few drinks and..... boom, we'er having sex. Ok , its good so we continue but we are not a couple I didn't want to be a couple......I guess I should have asked him how he felt. Well 7 months later i was really down and (we are not a couple)I ask if he would come over and he tells me maybe- ok I dont care who anyone is maybe is not an answer so I ask nicely "what does maybe mean?"he says "maybe" ok thats new to me so I hang up I'm already feeling like crap don't neen him to bring me down. so later that day he tells me to f*** someone else or wait. What????? someone called me the night before and asked me if they could come visit , so I call them back and told them to pick me up. They took me to another state and we had sex not as good but..... ahhhhh.... it was ok that night I get a call from Don he wants to come over -WOW- what a Jerk!!!!! I told him everything he laughed it off and I told that I wasnt playing and hung up the phone. When I got back home he was so pissed off I think he lost it for a bit he couldnt believe that I really did it. Well we havent spoke since. Was I wrong for what I had done or was right? He did tell me to sleep with someone else... some imput please....! Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 Sorry I don't get what you're saying Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Sorry I don't get what you're saying We are on the same boat here!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Opium Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 Um ...me either but let me try. You were having a relationship of FWB and you wanted to have the talk with him and he told you to go f*** someone else or wait?? And you did (which wasn't the smartest thing) and then told him about it, he got upset and you don't know why because he told you too?? If he told you to jump off a cliff would you? GG's just because one relationship doensn't work out doesn't mean you have to go f***ing everybody and than say "he told me too" as an excuse for your behavior. It sounds to me from all this that you have no self-respect for yourself and you just sleep around. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 After seven months her FWB treated her like she was insignificant by answering "maybe" when she asked if he wanted to come over. Both people get pissy and FWB tells her to go screw someone else if she can't wait. So she does exactly that - calls someone else and screws him. FWB decides he's in the mood, calls her up and because she's pissed that FWB was being an ass she tells him she just boinked [insert name] as he instructed her to and hangs up phone. FWB got pissed off and hasn't spoken to her since. She wants to know if she's in the wrong. --Answer--- Technically no - you weren't in a relationship and you have a right to do whatever you want with your body. My only concern is why you screwed someone else. If you did it in spite of FWB as a way to get even with him for treating you crappy then you might have some issues. Letting someone sleep with you as a way to take revenge isn't healthy in my opinion. If you slept with someone else because you wanted to have sex then I don't see anything wrong with it. Some people can have casual sex with others and that doesn't make the bad people. Link to post Share on other sites
Opium Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 If you slept with someone else because you wanted to have sex then I don't see anything wrong with it. Some people can have casual sex with others and that doesn't make the bad people. True! Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by mimie Was I wrong for what I had done or was right? He did tell me to sleep with someone else... some imput please....! Wrong? Like Pocky said, technically, no. I think your FWB might actually have some feelings for you. And when he told you to f*** someone else or wait, he never actually expected you to find someone else. He was possibly under the impression that although you aren't dating, your relationship with him was special and unique to you. By sleeping with another guy just because he wasn't available, you showed that it wasn't (whether you really feel it is or not). While you have every right to sleep with whoever you want since you're not dating this guy, he has the right to be hurt that you quickly went and found someone else to replace him. He also has the right to question whether he wants to continuing sleeping with someone who will sleep around like that. After all, his own health is in jeopardy if he does. A FWB arrangement where you only sleep with each other is different than one where you're with multiple people. He may have been under the impression that it was an exclusive FWB arrangement. And if he does have feelings for you and was hurt by this, he may not even want to be your friend. You didn't do anything technically wrong, but you didn't really consider his feelings when you did that. And one thing: it was ok that night I get a call from Don he wants to come over -WOW- what a Jerk!!!!! Why is he a jerk for wanting to come over? You'd been asking him to come, and after he complied, he's a jerk?? Why? Because you'd already screwed another guy and didn't need him anymore? He had no way of knowing you'd already gotten your 'fix'. Did you leave something out? I'm really confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Rosalind Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by mimie He did tell me to sleep with someone else. This is nuts...have you no mind of your own? Also..if he told you that, it means he doesn't care for you very much - in case that's what you are wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 I think he was testing you because he may very well have feelings for you and you just happen to fail miserably. But you are entitled to sleep with who ever you want if you guys are just friends so I wouldn't sweat it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mimie Posted July 16, 2005 Author Share Posted July 16, 2005 OK everything happen in the same day the guy I slept with was as ex. he is a jerk because you dont tell someone something like that and without a sorry for the way I spoke to you and ask can I come over now,wtf. "say what you mean and mean what you say ." you don't tell someone you care about something so hurtful and you don't test out anyones loyalty that way that is very immature. I don't care for things like that yes I care for him no it wasn't love but I was nothing but nice to him never slept with anyone else because thats not my thing but I just wanted some comfort from him and he let me down I never did anything like that to him. most men say I'm a good woman for not messing around but this is the only time I've felt so hurt by someone that I let myself go that far. [say what you mean and mean what you say] Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 Caring about a person, more than a friend is something that is excluded from the FWB deal. As per your wishes. Friends is something different, than someone who is around you 24/7 to hold your hand whatever the situation is. Consider the possibility that men are not unholy personal assistants that act to please a woman's every whim, id est they have a life. Since when is that forbidden, especially as the two of you are not even in a relationship, as per your wishes? You did nothing wrong from a formal point of view, but it seems that you are fooling yourself with regards to the FWB arrangement. You have a f*cking agreement, not an agreement to make certain the happily ever after does occur. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 come and screw me, I told you to do it, so ill be waiting.. Link to post Share on other sites
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