mistletoe26 Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 I just started talking to a man who is 12 years old than me, he's single, never married or having kids, in his early 40's, he says he was hurt before from a very long relationship (which now I'm not sure if I believe his story) and it will take very long time for him to be sure about marriage. Nevertheless, we got to know each other 2 months through a mutual friend. After 1 week talking, mostly through text messages, I slept with him. He was very caring through the messages, saying all kinds of stuff like he would take care of me for the rest of our lives, we were planning on moving together. He thought I was the right one, and since I'm so much younger than him, he said he would want to marry me eventually if everything goes well. However, after we had sex, the contents of the text messages just ironically changed. Everything now was about sex. He would send very long messages about how he enjoyed the sex with me, how he wanted me again. Finally I got sick of it and told him to stop. Then all a sudden, he went to silence, almost completely. He'd reply me still but it takes forever for him to, and I'm just sitting around waiting for his replies. My heart is grieving. So I talked to the mutual friend, a girl, about my feelings. She told me that they don't talk much, since she's married already, he never talked to her about sex. But she could help me by talking to him. So she started talking to him, trying to figure out what went wrong with us. My friend told me he said "She (me) and I are not a match" And bunch of bad things about me, like my makeup skills, manners at the dinning table, the way I kissed !! OMG, I was so shocked when our friend told me that, I literally couldn't believe it. Because I thought we were madly in love. But now according to him, these were all my "fantasies" ... Obviously, I didn't want to believe it. So I created a fake social media account and started talking to him very sexually, very straight. "I" "invited" him to come to my home to have sex on the very first conversation we had online. And he went !!!! During the conversation, he was asking me to send him nude pictures as well as normal pictures. I stole whatever pretty girl pictures from the internet and sent to him, I also stole some nude pictures without the face showing to him. He gave a lot of compliments. And I searched a random house which was for sale, I got the address and told him that it was "my" home. I was chocking when he sent "me" the picture of the neighborhood gate, (it requires a gate code to get in so he was stuck outside of the gate). asking "me" what the code was. From the picture, I saw part of his car, so I knew it WAS HIM...... I can't believe I fell for this kind of man. Who would go **** a stranger who just talked to him for couple hours. And he was even talking about having 3some sex...and he was saying that the roommate he has now, which is a girl, used to have sex with him...He told them all to the faked "me"... He is so dirty.... Now I'm so heartbroken. I know it so clear that I MUST NOT be with him... Thank god it was only couple months. But my heart is so grieving. He doesn't answer my call, text messages. He told the faked "me" that he doesn't want emotional connection, he just wants sex...... I'M SO LOST 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 I'm sorry you are hurting. Now you know, delete the fake accounts, his number and him from your life. There should be no calls, texts, emails, nothing. Complete radio silence. There's no reasoning with someone like this. Don't waste another second. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 Sorry that you got hurt. Now you have to protect yourself. Start here: *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means he might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete him from all social media. *No monitoring of him on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 The guy has all the makings of a player. Love bombing, telling you everything you want to hear like marriage, kids, a future together, you are the only one, never felt this was about someone before, so happy that they found you, where have you been all their life, you are so amazing, yadda yadda yadda......... Tip: don't sleep with anyone until they court you properly, taking you out on proper dates, introducing you to friends, family, invests their time being with you, getting to know you before all the "i love you want to be with you" etc. Never include messaging as dating, never waste your time on someone that messages you for weeks or months before even asking you out on a proper date. If you give yourself these guidelines, and stick with your expectations, you should be able to weed out the players, jerks and bad guys. IMO if it sounds way too good to be true....it is. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 After 1 week talking, mostly through text messages, I slept with him. He was very caring through the messages, saying all kinds of stuff like he would take care of me for the rest of our lives, we were planning on moving together. He thought I was the right one, and since I'm so much younger than him, he said he would want to marry me eventually if everything goes well. However, after we had sex, the contents of the text messages just ironically changed. Everything now was about sex. He would send very long messages about how he enjoyed the sex with me, how he wanted me again. You fell prey to a fantasy. Really, after one week of mainly text messages, he vowed to take care of you for the rest of your life, etc. and you believed him? The things he said in the short timeframe alone has "Player" subliminally entwined. Time to cut all contact, learn from your mistake and move forward. Maybe Karma will bite him in the butt. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 Okay, you've learned lots about him. But have you learned anything about yourself? I don't think he's totally wrong. You are looking for your fantasy romance so badly that all it takes is a week of sweet talking you over text messages to get you into bed. which would be fine, if that was how you felt about sex, but clearly it isn't. Even worse you were head over heels in love with him just by this little bit of talking. Your story reminds me of Frozen. Anna "meets cute" with a guy, sings a song, and thinks she's in love. Why, because she's desperate to be in love. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 You are in love and wanting to move in after knowing him for a week in person? Come on...that is not enough time to get to know someone at all. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Karma24 Posted December 14, 2016 Share Posted December 14, 2016 You are the prize. Make a man prove himself to you before you sleep with him. Hopefully this has been a good learning experience. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LargoLagg Posted December 14, 2016 Share Posted December 14, 2016 Better get tested for nasty diseases. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Logan787 Posted December 14, 2016 Share Posted December 14, 2016 You are the prize. Make a man prove himself to you before you sleep with him. Hopefully this has been a good learning experience. This is exactly the kind of thing I was going to say. There's a reason that God wants us to be married before we have sex with a person. Because if that person isn't willing to make a long term commitment to you and put a ring on your finger first, then they aren't worth your time and are just wanting to use you. When will men and women learn this lesson. The world is full of broken people that couldn't wait to get to know someone first before getting to the goodies. The sad fact is, children are most of the time the ones who pay the most because people act like contestants on a Jerry Springer show. Thankfully, you didn't have children with this man. Be more cautious the next time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dark Horse Posted December 15, 2016 Share Posted December 15, 2016 (edited) First and foremost there's one thing you need to realize... Dating is a game, some even consider it to be an art form. There's actually a whole community of mostly men who try to perfect their dating skills and getting women into bed with them, they call themselves PUA's. A lot of men will do and say anything to make you feel good, make you feel special and fake who they are just so you like them. When in reality, a lot of them are just doing these things because they only want sex. It's as simple as that. These are the men who know all the right words to say, and you fell for the trap. Just don't be so naive. My suggestion is be aware of the game many men play because by knowing the game and it's rules, you know what tricks are being played on you. Now of course not all men are **** boys, so dont brush all men off. Edited December 15, 2016 by Dark Horse Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted December 15, 2016 Share Posted December 15, 2016 So. Now you know. Most people go forever in a state of limbo wondering about these things. You know the truth now you can move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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