Harassment

[Bogus103]

I'm in a tough situation right now and I'm not sure of what to do, I hope you guys can help me out!

 

I feel like I am being harassed by my co-workers, they are always spreading false rumors about me and they are always laughing at me behind my back, well they think it's behind my back but I always know when they are talking about me! I have done absolutely nothing to these people! I honestly think it is because of my age. I'm 19 and they are all in there 40's/50's. My own boss takes part in all this! It's been getting really bad lately...I just can't take it. I took a vacation to get the hell out of there...and I don't want to go back! I make good money, I have full benefits, and it's a good job except for the fact that my co-workers treat me like crap.

 

I kind of want to go to a "higher authority" and let them know what's going on but I think that will just cause more problems. I really want to quit..I don't understand why people have to be so cruel and mean. They have no life, so they try to do whatever it takes to bring others down. I always just put a retarded smile on my face and pretend like I have no idea that there are rumors flying around about me and all this other crap. I'm tired of being nice to these people.

 

What would you guys do?

[Pocky]

What false rumors are they spreading about you and how do you know they're spreading them if everyone is participating?

[tiki]

Oh this happens a lot. I've seen/experienced it from both sides. Find somewhere else to work if you can, and on your exit interview, be honest with your feelings. People can be so mean!

[Bogus103]

Well they are going around saying that i'm a lesbian which is not true, and they just make fun of me for anything and everything they can come up with! This one lady went around and told everyone I tried to commit suicide..which I didn't, I used to be a cutter but I'm not anymore..their are slits on my wrists so I'm sure thats why she's going around telling people that..I know it was dumb of me to be that way..but as far as I'm concerned it's none of their damn business! i was really sick back in Feb..this lady told everyone I was in the luney bin...I had a very bad cold with a high temp..does that sound like I was in there...lol...these people are the ones that are nut cases!

 

I want to quit but the thing is, I'm no ta quitter..and also I don't think I'm going to find a job that pays as well as this does with full benefits and everything for someone like me..College isn't for me and it's hard now a days to find any job let alone a job that you can live off of!

 

I'm just so tired of taking their ****..somedays I just feel like screaming at all these people but I know that will just create more problems!

[Pocky]

Why don't you confront those that are making false comments regarding your personal life?

[Moose]

Originally posted by Pocky

Why don't you confront those that are making false comments regarding your personal life?

HA< I was going to suggest this. Just make sure it's on your own time.....I'd go about it differently than others though. I'd go to them one at a time, with no witnesses, (if you know what I mean), if they confirm it, I'd make it clear to them what the ramifications would be if they continue. If they deny it, I'd make it clear that I have my eyes on them, and they had better tread lightly.......but that's just me.

[HokeyReligions]

Document! Document! Document!

 

Keep a journal - write down the date, time, and names of people who have said something about you; what they said; and who they said it to. On a separate page keep track of how this is interferring with your job performance.

 

Then approach the people that are spreading rumors and confront them on it. You don't have to be nasty about it, or threatening, but tell them that you were led to believe that they said [whatever they said] to so-and-so and you want to know if that is accurate. Put them on the spot about it. Ask them why and tell them that if they have any questions about your job performance that they should come to you since you rely on their experience and maturity too.

 

Keep track of their answers. If it continues then go to your supervisor and/or to Human Resources with a copy of your journal (keep the original for your self and don't hand over the copy--that should be yours so that you can refer to it, but its best to keep the original separate)

 

Don't be complaining, but approach it as being unprofessional and creating a hostile workplace. Human Resources is going to ask if you have said anything directly to those involved and you need to say yes and it still was not resolved. Otherwise you might be seen as a complainer and complainers get the boot first. The squeaky wheel syndrome -- it doesn't always get oiled, often its replaced. However, if you document everything and approach it in a professional manner it could be to your benefit. I've seen a couple of upper-managers terminated because of harrassment similar to what you have described.

[lindya]

Much as I'd like to give you ideas for things to say to these people, I'm not sure how practical that advice would be. I'd imagine that you feel very isolated and anxious at work right now. It would be hard enough for someone twice your age to confront these workplace bullies, and I think for a 19 year old it might be a little bit too much. A lot of people do actively enjoy conflict, rumour-mongering and office politics in the workplace. Unfortunately it sounds as if your office contains a number of such characters - and not much in the way of discipline to counter their unpleasantness.

 

Your employers have a duty to protect you from victimisation, but even if they suspect you're being bullied they may well decide not to take any action right now. If you make it clear to them that you're encountering difficulties, however, then they will have to take some sort of action (unless they're happy to end up with an almost sure fire winner of a constructive dismissal complaint on their hands). They may also, unfortunately, pressurise you into either raising a formal grievance or shutting up.

 

I'd suggest that you make an appointment with a solicitor/attorney so that you can clarify exactly what your complaint is, how much evidence there is to back it up, whether you want to present that complaint to your employers - and, if so, how. Make it clear to your lawyer that retaining your job is extremely important to you, and you want to address this matter amicably and on as confidential a basis as possible.

[New_Wife]

Google: Code of Federal Regulations, Title 29, Chapter XIV, Sec. 1604.11 Sexual harassment.

 

There are two portions that may be helpful to you:

 

(a)"(3) such conduct has the purpose or effect of

unreasonably interfering with an individual's work performance or

creating an intimidating, hostile, or offensive working environment"

 

Which sounds like it applies to you.

 

This next part is long, but may give you guidance in what you should do.:

 

"(d) With respect to conduct between fellow employees, an employer is responsible for acts of sexual harassment in the workplace where the employer (or its agents or supervisory employees) knows or should have known of the conduct, unless it can show that it took immediate and appropriate corrective action.

(e) An employer may also be responsible for the acts of non-employees, with respect to sexual harassment of employees in the workplace, where the employer (or its agents or supervisory employees) knows or should have known of the conduct and fails to take immediate and appropriate corrective action. In reviewing these cases the Commission will consider the extent of the employer's control and any other legal responsibility which the employer may have with respect to the conduct of such non-employees.

(f) Prevention is the best tool for the elimination of sexual harassment. An employer should take all steps necessary to prevent sexual harassment from occurring, such as affirmatively raising the subject, expressing strong disapproval, developing appropriate sanctions, informing employees of their right to raise and how to raise the issue of harassment under title VII, and developing methods to sensitize all concerned."

****

 

Basically, these women's references to your sexual identity (correct or incorrect) are forms of sexual harassment, as defined by our fine government. The poster that suggested you talk to HR is dead-on. If your employer does not take immediate corrective action, I second the suggestion that you talk to an attorney.

[lindya]

Originally posted by New_Wife

Basically, these women's references to your sexual identity (correct or incorrect) are forms of sexual harassment, as defined by our fine government. The poster that suggested you talk to HR is dead-on. If your employer does not take immediate corrective action, I second the suggestion that you talk to an attorney.

 

Yes, you definitely need to speak to HR. Still think it might not be an idea to get some advice from a lawyer first, just so that you don't wrongfoot yourself. The lawyer will give your interests top billing when doling out advice, because that's what you're paying them to do. The HR manager's job is to make you feel important and cared for - whilst he or she quietly covers the company's back with whatever means are necessary and legal.