Ending Things With Famous Man Who Is Engaged

[StormyBlueFlames86]

I didn't know who else to talk to so I wanted to find women like me. He is famous person on television and he has a fiancé now. He came to me when they were having problems with their relationship but I didn't even know she existed the first time around until he dropped me like a bad habit and blocked my number.

 

Two months later he reappeared begging for me to give him another chance. He told me him and his ex broke up and he wanted us to have a real shot. After several months he noticed that feelings were developing so he finally admitted that his girlfriend has been in the picture because they are working on getting back together and that he was with me during their breakups.

 

But now he was confused because he has been developing feelings for me and didn't want to lose me so this time he was continuing to see me after they got back together. By this point I was in love with him. And not to sound shallow but the fact that he was gorgeous, famous, and wealthy made it even harder to turn away. So I stayed involved even after I found out about them being back together. We spent the weekend together and the next day he told me that we have to end this because he can't risk breaking both of our hearts. But he was just really breaking my heart and protecting hers. Two weeks after he ended things with me, they got engaged.

 

I am devastated! I have been crying for days. He told me he values our friendship and that I can call him anytime to talk so we can get through this together because he says this is hard for him too. He and I had been working on a business project together so I have been in contact with him since then but I really want to end the business relationship and go no contact.

 

It breaks my heart into pieces talking to him. I think his fiancé knows about me though because she's made snarky remarks on social media about other women wishing they were number one in his life like she is. That actually hurt me even more because it is true. The pain of being the other woman is the worst pain of all love pains. Especially when he constantly chooses her. At one point I felt special because he didn't want to let me go either.

 

He'd sneak and call me from her place or cancel plans with her to see me but now I feel stupid because I was always going to be the one getting the short end of the stick. He always wanted to be committed to her. And I was always just the back up plan if they didn't work out. What's worst is that he does all the things I wish he and I could have done with her. He took her to Paris after I told him how much I dreamed of going and he told me that maybe he'd take me one day. I'm trying to put it behind me and move on.

 

I know he'll be back once they have another problem in their relationship but I can't take this again. Anyway, I'm just looking for some support from other women to repair my heart and my self esteem. I'm left wondering if I will ever meet a man who will give me the fairytale love that he is now giving to her.

 

I'm not some low grade woman. I'm attractive, educated, I have a successful legal career. I need some serious help to get over this....Ive been crying for a week straight

Edited December 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[MidnightBlue1980]

Assuming the guy is a Somebody, if you keep hanging around him, you will find yourself on social media or in a magazine with the title Homewrecker. The public opinion on celebs tends to go with the betrayed party, man or woman. Remember Kristen Stewart cheating on Robert Patterson, Jude Law cheating on Sienna Miller? Both Stewart and Law trashed their careers. Remember Monica Lewinsky? Angelina Jolie?

 

LS may be sympathetic to the OW but the world is not. I'm sure you don't want your face on the cover of People.

 

You don't want to be involved with a celebrity. They seem pretty messed up.

 

I'm sorry you feel bad. But think about what I said.

Edited December 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[darkmoon]

imo, he will not stay faithful to her, he sounds like a calibre of man who gets offers quite a bit, i think you need a holiday to take your mind of this obviously professionally-charismatic guy

[StormyBlueFlames86]

I guess I never really thought about what type of back lash I could get from the media. That's actually pretty horrifying to even think about. We are no longer romantically or sexually involved so I'm not concerned about that now. I'm only here to vent anonymously since I haven't been able to share this story with any friends or family.

Edited December 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Samanthajay84]

Hi.

 

I read your story and I hate to say this, but it sounds like he was, and still might be, using you as a safety net. That's does not say a lot of good about him. Now I am not bashing him, I know you clearly love him for a reason, but why sit around waiting for a guy that is basically throwing crumbs at you while he's feeding her steak? I did that too. For a long time. And guess what? He didn't choose me. Took me 2 years to even start thinking of any other guy.

 

Please, for yourself, move on. If I were you, I cut off the business project you guys have going on also. Being around him won't make it any easier for you.

 

It isn't fair how he's treating/treated you. It will be hard but try to move on now. Prolonging it will make it so much worse.

 

Wishing and praying nothing but good for you! God bless.

[Samanthajay84]

I don't know the rules to forums, I don't frequent them often but thanks.

 

I guess I never really thought about what type of back lash I could get from the media. That's actually pretty horrifying to even think about. We are no longer romantically or sexually involved so I'm not concerned about that now. I'm only here to vent anonymously since I haven't been able to share this story with any friends or family.

 

I'm in kind of the same predicament. This could very easily become exploited and ruin a lot of people's lives. I haven't even confided in my sister or best friend.

 

I'm happy to have you guys here at LS!

[StormyBlueFlames86]

imo, he will not stay faithful to her, he sounds like a calibre of man who gets offers quite a bit, i think you need a holiday to take your mind of this obviously professionally-charismatic guy

 

Yeah you're right, I noticed that too. I don't get the impression that he's the faithful type or that he will be fully committed to her. I just sort of got sucked into it all and I'm dealing with the emotional consequences. I'm going on a solo vacation to clear my mind. Thanks for your feedback

[StormyBlueFlames86]

Thanks for your advice!

 

I have already ended things with him romantically, I just need to end all of our contact. Being a safety net feels awful, and yes you are correct, I think him wanting us to remain friends and business partners is still keeping me as a safety net even if we are no longer sleeping together. This isn't what I want...I'm just waiting for the wounds to heal and for my internal happiness and glow to return.

[StormyBlueFlames86]

imo, he will not stay faithful to her, he sounds like a calibre of man who gets offers quite a bit, i think you need a holiday to take your mind of this obviously professionally-charismatic guy

 

I'm in kind of the same predicament. This could very easily become exploited and ruin a lot of people's lives. I haven't even confided in my sister or best friend.

 

I'm happy to have you guys here at LS!

 

I so happy to have this too!! How are you holding up? Only one of my friends know about it but she kind of treats me like I'm such an idiot for dealing with him so it makes me feel bad to confide in her too much. No one really gets the perspective of the woman who knowingly got involved with a taken man.

[Samanthajay84]

I so happy to have this too!! How are you holding up? Only one of my friends know about it but she kind of treats me like I'm such an idiot for dealing with him so it makes me feel bad to confide in her too much. No one really gets the perspective of the woman who knowingly got involved with a taken man.

 

I have good days, ok days, horrible days. But the horrible days always pass

 

That's mostly the reason I didn't tell anyone. I knew they wouldn't understand or would judge me for even thinking of another man.

 

But there is a bit of a difference with me. I'm married also.

 

This other man is from my past. Old feelings resurfacing. I'm trying to fight them off but it's rough.

 

We gotta hang in there. We are strong enough to do this!

[Maddieandtae]

No need for apologies Stormy, we all need a place to vent. I don't think there are any rules on how you format your thoughts:) You should have rules for yourself though on not keeping people in your life that use you. Midnight is right, you wouldn't want to be front news on some gossip channel or magazine. It's your reputation that would take the beating:(

[elaine567]

I guess I never really thought about what type of back lash I could get from the media. That's actually pretty horrifying to even think about. We are no longer romantically or sexually involved so I'm not concerned about that now. I'm only here to vent anonymously since I haven't been able to share this story with any friends or family.

 

I don't think you are out of the woods just yet.

His fiancée if she ever found out about you, may throw you to the wolves at any time.

Celebrities are always news, and a celebrity cheating on his fiancée would certainly be of interest to some journos looking for a tasty tidbit.

[MidnightBlue1980]

I guess I never really thought about what type of back lash I could get from the media. That's actually pretty horrifying to even think about. We are no longer romantically or sexually involved so I'm not concerned about that now. I'm only here to vent anonymously since I haven't been able to share this story with any friends or family.

 

Totally fine. Vent away. Many of us are here for the same reason.

[ShatteredLady]

If you truly want the 'fairy tale' (true love, romance, LOYALTY & FAMILY) don't go for famous men!!

 

Some will be cynical & say that men are only as loyal as their opportunities. I don't believe that. Money & fame makes it easier to find women to cheat with no doubt but male serial infidelity is generally a character flaw.

People who yearn for fame are 'different'. They need to fill some void within & success leads to huge egos & plenty of people willing to pander to it. In my experience that goes hand in hand with womanizing & partying.

 

(Some are 'Artists' who love their craft & I apologize to them.)

 

There is a certain type of woman who wants her own kind of fame which comes from being on the arm of a rich famous man & they are generally willing to sacrifice all the other bits of the fairy tale to get that. You don't sound like that kind of woman to me.

 

My cousin is a casting director & I could show you party photographs of 'good family men' celebrities that would turn your stomach! I'm NOT talking about 1 woman. I mean many women at the same time draped over aging, sweaty, drunken, drugged-up 'famous' guys.

 

How humiliated & heartbroken would you feel knowing that people are sharing those pictures & laughing? Would you want your children influenced by a daddy like that? It seems so glamorous at the start but real life sets in at some point.

 

You sound like a nice lady. If your career surrounds you with those people be VERY careful in the future about who you expose your heart to. There are diamonds in the rough but spotting them is hard.

 

I hope that you can go no contact & let your head rule your heart. I bet it was a nice fantasy while it lasted, like most affairs but it's not real. Find a man who will be a true 'partner', best friend & lover that you can build your own fairy tale TOGETHER with. A woman's heart can be a very fragile thing. Protect yours! You're worth so much more. It sounds like his fiancé is in for a world of hurt.

[SoleMate]

Cancel the business project - it's nothing but a source of pain and entanglement for you now. Go NC.

[StormyBlueFlames86]

Cancel the business project - it's nothing but a source of pain and entanglement for you now. Go NC.

That's what I'll do. I'm going NC and cutting off all ties. Thanks for the support

[seren]

Sorry, but I have to comment, there is no such thing as a low grade woman. Having a successful career, looks, money doesn't make a person immune to bad decisions or heartache. Whether you live in a mansion or a tent, everyone deserves respect, everyone deserves love. No one should have to knowingly share the person they love or be treated badly by them, no matter what role we occupy in the affair triangle. Nothing is worth being a secret, nothing is worth being part of deception where someone is hurt. Never be someone else's secret, love or respect should be there in spades for the world to see, not hidden, no matter where the hiding takes place. An affair is secretive because someone in it has something to lose, I would urge anyone in an affair to never settle for being hidden, you, me anyone is worth more.

[Raena]

I'm left wondering if I will ever meet a man who will give me the fairytale love that he is now giving to her.

 

Are you sure you really want the fairytale love he's giving her? He cheated on her. That's not a fairytale love at all.

[Bufo]

You didn't ask for replies from men. But I'll give you mine anyway.

 

Your posts answer your question by themselves. Horrible. Pain. Short end of the stick. There are more but I'm sure you get the idea. Why subject yourself to misery?

 

Your homework is to read 10 random posts by OW. Keep score on how many turn out well for OW. If that doesn't convince you, choose 10 more and keep score. I think you'll see that the BTDT crowd would agree that anything but a full break is not wise.