Honestly I feel like I won't ever find anything longterm

[LordMacharius]

Why?

 

Well because I feel like there isn't really a woman out there that meets my interests, AND beliefs, especially in my area. While I want to move to a city in the future I don't have the money,job opportunity, or chance to.

 

My hobbies are mostly introverted, so it's not like I can REALLY meet new people through them, especially women. But it's not getting a date or sex i'm REALLY worried about longer term stuff, all my relationships have been short. Hell even the woman I most connected with fell out and left me for someone else, because "she didn't think we had that much going"

 

Honestly it sucks because I am pursuing a relationship with someone now, but honestly sometimes I can't help but think "what's the point? She doesn't seem that interested AND if she is it's just going to end up in a heartbreak after a month or two anyway"

 

I just want to REALLY connect with someone, I don't want a fling, or a month long relationship that throws me out to being single again, which once again where I currently live I can't have that happen too much in a smaller town.

.

[Miss Clavel]

and if you do end up alone, aren't you in a relationship with yourself, which is a very important one. aren't you interested in your own life?

 

 

you life sounds full to me.

[Mysterio]

I really would not worry about it. Just live your life and someone will come in it.

 

I and others worry way too much about this side of our lives. I have a great life. With or without a great woman by my side.

 

I think the best thing for a lot of us is to just induldge in our hobbies and love and have good times with our family/friends. It puts us in a better mood, than worrying about how to aquire a romantic relationship.

 

People are breaking up on a daily basis. So its not like everything is so locked in, even if you have a romantic partner in your life.

[CommittedToThis]

I just want to REALLY connect with someone

 

Dude, it's a numbers game, and you'll have a much better chance of success if do two things:

 

1. Move somewhere where the dating pool is bigger than your small town, or commit to only seeing women in the nearest large town if there is one.

 

2. Learn to recognize the early red flags that often pop-up with women who will ultimately become a waste of your time and emotional investment. 'Tis better to dump first, and early, than to waste precious time.

 

So, get out there where the women are, learn to quickly recognize those not right for you, dump them, and move on.

 

Eventually you'll hit it big time and you'll remember me as that guy who helped you find the woman of your dreams.

[Nathaly]

The more you worry the less you will find.. God has a plan for everybody, and we all will eventually find our other half, believe me, i'm going through that, i'm single and sometimes i feel like i will never find the love of my life.. but it will happen, ask God to help you, and he will give you all you want and all you need

[LargoLagg]

Why?

 

Well because I feel like there isn't really a woman out there that meets my interests, AND beliefs, especially in my area. While I want to move to a city in the future I don't have the money,job opportunity, or chance to.

 

My hobbies are mostly introverted, so it's not like I can REALLY meet new people through them, especially women. But it's not getting a date or sex i'm REALLY worried about longer term stuff, all my relationships have been short. Hell even the woman I most connected with fell out and left me for someone else, because "she didn't think we had that much going"

 

Honestly it sucks because I am pursuing a relationship with someone now, but honestly sometimes I can't help but think "what's the point? She doesn't seem that interested AND if she is it's just going to end up in a heartbreak after a month or two anyway"

 

I just want to REALLY connect with someone, I don't want a fling, or a month long relationship that throws me out to being single again, which once again where I currently live I can't have that happen too much in a smaller town.

.

You can find work in a small town that doesn't exist in a city? What do you do? Thresh wheat?

 

Also, introverted hobbies? What are they? Locking yourself away and meditating? Building models of ships in a bottle? Why not get an extroverted hobby?

 

Why would you pursue (see how I bolded your word? look it up) a relationship with someone who's not all that interested in you? Doesn't that seem like a waste of time? Why not demote her and see two people, or three at the same time? Then throw out the one you like least and put another one in her slot? Why not do that?

 

If you want change in your life, you have to be the agent of change. So far, from what I read, you're the agent of excuses, which are leading you to despair.

 

Go west, young man! The easiest way to change your life is to change it.

[normal person]

The more you worry the less you will find.. God has a plan for everybody,

 

Not trying to start a religious feud here. You're certainly entitled to your opinion, but I think invoking God in real world situations is a very, very, bad idea. The guy has real world problems. The only thing that will change his situation is if he takes action and makes changes -- not wait for God to do something about it. Do you go the doctor when you're sick? There are Christian scientists out there who let their children die instead of taking them to the doctor because they think it's "God's plan." The whole reason doctors even exist is because asking God to cure you of the pain, diseases, and ailments he decides to give you does absolutely nothing.

 

and we all will eventually find our other half,

 

This is asinine, sorry. Where are your stats on this? Many people never find their other half. And nearly half who think they do and get married under God's watchful eye end up divorcing because they were wrong.

 

believe me, i'm going through that, i'm single and sometimes i feel like i will never find the love of my life.. but it will happen, ask God to help you, and he will give you all you want and all you need

 

So let me get this straight: you're going through the same thing as the OP, you think all you have to do is ask God to help you, and he'll give you all you the help you need, yet you're still single? So basically you're saying "Ask God. He always helps! Except for all the times he doesn't -- which, admittedly, is most of the time. I asked and I'm still waiting for him to help me, too. So... I dunno, maybe try Tinder?" I didn't realize all people had to do to solve all their problems is to ask God for help. No need for real life advice here anymore, everyone just ask God. He's currently single -- how do you know that's not God's plan?

 

 

OP, you can believe whatever you want. But there is one path that involves getting off your butt and making tangible changes and another path that involves passively waiting for a man in the sky to grant your wishes. If you want actual, real life results, I suggest you make actual, real life changes. You say money and job opportunities are stopping you. What's keeping you from getting those things so you can move? School? Training? You can get those things easily enough with some loans, dedication, hard work, and frugality. Or you can just pray and hope for the best.

 

Best of luck.

Edited December 13, 2016 by normal person

[Mysterio]

Prayer and taking action. This is my take. Pray for the strength to get through the aggitation of not having a cut and dry love life. Take action when a woman in your case shows interest in you or you sense it.

 

That means. When you talk to the woman. She makes eye contact with you. Makes conversation with you, as you are with her, and there is some warmth towards you.

 

Asking every woman that you meet is futile. You don't know who's married or psycho or what. So join mixed recreaitonal activities. Go there to have a good time. Let the women more come to you. Than you making a big deal out of every interaction that comes from them.

 

Love relationships usually arise when you least expect them. I find I get way more interest. When I don't go looking and don't let it rule my thoughts as much. When it happens at all.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Why?

 

Well because I feel like there isn't really a woman out there that meets my interests, AND beliefs, especially in my area. While I want to move to a city in the future I don't have the money,job opportunity, or chance to.

 

My hobbies are mostly introverted, so it's not like I can REALLY meet new people through them, especially women. But it's not getting a date or sex i'm REALLY worried about longer term stuff, all my relationships have been short. Hell even the woman I most connected with fell out and left me for someone else, because "she didn't think we had that much going"

 

Honestly it sucks because I am pursuing a relationship with someone now, but honestly sometimes I can't help but think "what's the point? She doesn't seem that interested AND if she is it's just going to end up in a heartbreak after a month or two anyway"

 

I just want to REALLY connect with someone, I don't want a fling, or a month long relationship that throws me out to being single again, which once again where I currently live I can't have that happen too much in a smaller town.

.

 

You can always try Meetup.

[Nathaly]

If you don't believe in GOD its ok.. but, let other do. I'm not saying that he has to ask God for help and then do nothing to change it... MY POINT IS that you HAVE to ask God to help you, to give you the strength to get what you want... God has a plan for everybody, it could be next to somebody, it could be alone, whatever but he has his plan made for us BUT a popular statement says: ''Help yourself and god will help you'' GOD will not help you if you don't even take a step to change your situation, but again he will help you to stay strong even though the adversities that it can carry. i know he has real problems but God is a real solution too. you came here to make an argument instead of help him with advices or tips. nice.. xD

 

Not trying to start a religious feud here. You're certainly entitled to your opinion, but I think invoking God in real world situations is a very, very, bad idea. The guy has real world problems. The only thing that will change his situation is if he takes action and makes changes -- not wait for God to do something about it. Do you go the doctor when you're sick? There are Christian scientists out there who let their children die instead of taking them to the doctor because they think it's "God's plan." The whole reason doctors even exist is because asking God to cure you of the pain, diseases, and ailments he decides to give you does absolutely nothing.

 

 

 

This is asinine, sorry. Where are your stats on this? Many people never find their other half. And nearly half who think they do and get married under God's watchful eye end up divorcing because they were wrong.

 

 

 

So let me get this straight: you're going through the same thing as the OP, you think all you have to do is ask God to help you, and he'll give you all you the help you need, yet you're still single? So basically you're saying "Ask God. He always helps! Except for all the times he doesn't -- which, admittedly, is most of the time. I asked and I'm still waiting for him to help me, too. So... I dunno, maybe try Tinder?" I didn't realize all people had to do to solve all their problems is to ask God for help. No need for real life advice here anymore, everyone just ask God. He's currently single -- how do you know that's not God's plan?

 

 

OP, you can believe whatever you want. But there is one path that involves getting off your butt and making tangible changes and another path that involves passively waiting for a man in the sky to grant your wishes. If you want actual, real life results, I suggest you make actual, real life changes. You say money and job opportunities are stopping you. What's keeping you from getting those things so you can move? School? Training? You can get those things easily enough with some loans, dedication, hard work, and frugality. Or you can just pray and hope for the best.

 

Best of luck.

[normal person]

If you don't believe in GOD its ok.. but, let other do.

 

I very clearly wrote "you're entitled to your opinion." I'm not saying you can't believe in God, I'm just saying OP asking God to bring him a girlfriend, or anything else, isn't going to do anything, and you shouldn't go around touting that as actual advice.

 

I'm not saying that he has to ask God for help and then do nothing to change it...

 

So you admit that he has to do something to change it -- so why is God even necessary in this scenario? OP can make changes on his own. What you're saying is "Ask God for help, then do all the work yourself while God does none of things you asked him to do. Then thank God." OP just needs to do the things. God has no relevance here.

 

MY POINT IS that you HAVE to ask God to help you, to give you the strength to get what you want...

 

In your opinion you have to ask God for help. The point of my post was to make sure your opinions don't conflate actual facts. No one "has" to do anything. Many people, myself included, do just fine without ever asking God for help. Strange how that works, huh?

 

 

God has a plan for everybody, it could be next to somebody, it could be alone, whatever but he has his plan made for us

 

 

In your opinion, God has a plan for everybody. That doesn't make it true. And what of free will? Do we have it or not? If we don't have it, then God's plan is for OP to be alone and asking God for help would be akin to saying "God, your plan is wrong." Wouldn't it be blasphemous to divert from the path he set for OP? If we do have free will, then asking God for help won't do anything. Either God does everything, or he does nothing. Or I guess in your case, God only intervenes when it's convenient and advantageous for your argument.

 

 

BUT a popular statement says:

 

Being popular doesn't mean something is good, or right. Plenty of things throughout history have been popular and horrible.

 

 

''Help yourself and god will help you'' GOD will not help you if you don't even take a step to change your situation, but again he will help you to stay strong even though the adversities that it can carry.

 

So basically you're saying "Do all the work yourself and give God the credit." That's funny, because many people do things and achieve them through hard work without asking God for help. Somehow, they succeed anyways.

 

 

i know he has real problems but God is a real solution too.

 

No it's not. Getting up and making changes can be done without praying, asking God for anything, or even being aware of the concept of God. God is totally irrelevant here. You can think what you want but when you cross the line into reality and offer God as a real world solution to real world problems, you're making things worse for OP and anyone who reads this.

 

you came here to make an argument instead of help him with advices or tips. nice.. xD

 

I provided advice -- do what's necessary to get the things you desire (loans, schooling, skills, etc) -- and I also did my best to refute bad, ineffectual advice for OP and anyone reading. It's like OP has a horrible headache, and I'm saying "go to the doctor," and you're saying "Pray for God's help." But when that inevitably doesn't work, you say "Ok, pray for God's help -- then you should probably go to the doctor." Then when the doctor cures him, you'll say "See? Prayer works."

 

The issue will be resolved only once he makes the practical decision to go to the doctor. God has no relevance here. OP needs to make the changes on his own volition. If he needs God's "help," fine. But let's not pretend like it's going to make a difference. Anyone will get the desired result if they do the work, with or without prayer.

[Aesc]

Congratulations, because you are my first reply, my very first post on this forum.

 

I don't know if you are signed up on any dating websites, but if not I suggest that you give it a try. Many of them have algorithms designed to facilitate better matching, more compatibility, etc. Set your search parameters to a larger geographical area than just the town you live in.

Edited December 15, 2016 by Aesc

[CommittedToThis]

Congratulations, because you are my first reply, my very first post on this forum.

 

I'm excited to see who gets the honor of receiving your second post!

 

J/k, welcome and good call on the OLD thing.

 

I live in a small mountain town and the pickings are slim on OLD for my exact location. Thankfully just off the mountain lies the vast metropolis of Southern California.

 

I wish they all could be California girls.