For those affected by "selfish" people

[ff12343]

After stumbling across this, I had to share it. I couldn't even try to disagree with the points made even If i tried.

 

If you EVER felt inferior or "not good enough" in your relationship no matter how short it lasted, this is for you.

 

How to Stop Selfish People from Hurting You

 

I needed help "moving on" as they say from a "manipulator". Never wanted to believe it.

 

I promise if this applies to you, then this article will help.

Edited December 11, 2016 by ff12343

[BrokenBranches]

This is so ****ing accurate it's funny and not funny at all. At the same time.

 

Im one month out of a 9 month relationship. I'll explain it some, though i'tll be redundant. This girl was a friend for only 3 months or so before dating, and i was blown away by her kindness, friendliness, how considerate she was of others. It got to a point where we both acknowledged we wanted each other.

 

Now she was recently out of a relationship, so it started FWB, she wasn't ready to commit, then eventually considered us casually dating. The first half she was incredible, it all felt amazing. Then she so clearly started distancing herself one week, but from then on it was very gradual. I'd get upset, we'd talk about it, continue on.

 

She made me feel so bad for asking anything of her. But looking back i was not asking for a lot and by the end of it she was actually giving nearly nothing. I feel terrible for how good i was to her. A couple months ago, I recognized how selfish she was being but i put up with it. She gave excuses, never said anything like "my feelings have changed for you". She even said she was scared of losing me. So many times she'd so something ****ty to me and I tried so hard to get myself to I've her a taste of her own medicine, but i was too weak. I couldn't be petty. I regret so much not doing that stuff to her (like not responding, not caring to see her, etc) I even talked about how I think the only way she'll truly realize how she's acting is if i do the same to her. **** I can't do that anymore and even if I did now, she wouldn't care.

 

In the year i've known her, she's had a falling out with her 3 BEST FRIENDS in town, at separate times. Like big dramatic things, almost like relationship issues. She'd be pretty torn up about it. Everytime this has happened she had a new best friend to cling to. She puts so much effort and love into this new person. I realize i was a person like that. Of course she has friends that she keeps, but she treats them differently somehow. I think she always just needs that ONE person. Even if we didn't start ****ing and dating, I think our friendship would've still ended in this fashion. I really wish i told her that.

 

I've pointed out this pattern to her. She half heartedly acknowledged it, but i don't think fully internalized it. She makes herself out to be the victim in every situation. There's being selfish and then there's being selfish to the point that you hurt everyone around you. It's ironic how she likely thinks i was too needy and sensitive. When in fact she is equally if not more needy, she just doesn't realize it because I never pulled away , so she didn't have to ask for it. I couldn't get myself to play those games with her, but i truly believe our relationship would've lasted much longer if i did.

 

During our break up, i told her how I was the one to plan all our dates, take us out on trips, etc. Her response. "don't say that". lol. she can't handle it. One time i told her "no" to a favor because it felt like i was being used. The next day she told me she cried all night and that i shouldn't feel like i'm being used.

 

 

I don't know how i'm ever going to get over this aspect of her and the relationship. I'm going to be seeing her around. Getting over the change to being platonic is one thing. But forgiving/forgetting how selfishly she treated me and thus ruined the relationship and any potential friendship seems impossible. I think my only major fault in the relationship was being manipulated, other than that i mostly blame her. And she can't handle that.