When they say don't contact - Listen

[Weathersf1]

Its been a year since my ex girlfriend - fiancee left me. I was on here shortly after spending 8 hours a day reading and learning on how to cope. Some days were OK, others were hell. Took 6 months to live with myself and then one Monday evening in September, I did what I shouldn't have. I broke no contact.

 

Turns out she's moved out of state, half a country away. Living with another man in a serious relationship. We were together for 3 1/2 years, living together for 2 of those years. 3 months after our breakup, she was with him. Moved in with him 5 states away after 3 months of long distance dating and started a new life.

 

I was devastated when I saw how well she sounded and had coped. I was still living in the past. We talked a few times and I told her I loved her and I was wanted to marry her. She confessed that she wasn't happy. She tried to replicate what we had with him and it wasn't working. She had been there 2 months at that point and sounded very unhappy.

 

I asked her to come back and I promised to be the best husband in the universe. I proposed and she said "Yes". We started discussing wedding timelines, venue, honeymoon etc. She starts sending me pictures of wedding dresses, talking about bridesmaids and groomsmen, little details that only a bride would think of. All of that gives me confidence.

 

She tells me she will inform her boyfriend (who by the way, she's living with) that she's leaving and but won't give him the real reason that she's going back to me. I didn't question or argue as I was just happy to have her back in my life.

 

We talk every day for 3 weeks. Each day she tells me, she's going to inform him today that its over and she's leaving. One day leads to the next. I remain patient as what else I could do. I was just happy that I had her back and I wanted to prove to her and to myself that I was willing to wait and support her as I understood, it couldn't be easy.

 

And then she disappears. Wont answer my calls, texts, emails. At first I got really nervous but after 3 days reality sunk in. I wasn't naive, I knew she either changed her mind or had been playing me all along. I leave her a voicemail threatening her that I have her forwarding address and all the "I love you" texts she sent me and if I don't hear back from her by the end of the day, I will show up at her door and let her boyfriend read those texts and see the naked pictures she sent me of her self.

 

15 minutes later, I receive a text "I am OK" followed by "I'm sorry". I don't text back a word. I cry like a little baby and then block her number. I realized in that moment that I had her on a pedestal and she knocked herself off. I promise myself that I will never reach out to her again.

 

By this time, its mid October and I decide to engage in 2 things that are my passion. Fitness and travel. I start crossfit and get in the best shape I have been in years and and I travel to Spain and Portugal. That trip absolutely changed my life.

 

I went from feeling heartbroken, worthless and discarded to grateful, appreciative and spiritual for all the gifts I have been granted. I am not a liar or a cheater. I will never put someone in a position where they might harm themselves. If I was severely depressed or had chemical dependencies or any kind of substance abuse problem. She could have killed me with her false hopes and promises of return.

 

I wish her all the luck and happiness in the world but our paths are never going to cross. My therapist told me "the best is yet to come". I never believed her as I felt the emotional and sexual chemistry I had with my ex will never be repeated with anyone else. The times with her best times of my life and everything from this point is just passing time.

 

While in Spain, I hiked in the Montesserot mountains. I saw the sunset in the Mediterranean of the coast of Mallorca. I saw the wall Romans built when they conquered Hispania 2000 years ago. I lived and understood the philosophy of Gautama Buddha "All that we are is the result of what we have thought".

 

I'm heading to Iceland next month and will continue to travel and see all the world and its wonders. While I train physically to be the best I can be.

 

I'm here to tell all of my friends that are suffering from the pain of heartbreak. I'm sorry for your pain and I promise you, IT WILL GET BETTER. I haven't found anyone to be with yet but I have found myself. I will continue to seek and appreciate every day on earth and even though life is far from perfect, its still beautiful with or without someone.

 

In some way I'm glad I broke no contact cause I saw who she is today and its not who I fell in love with. I still think about her but my path is different and I could never be with someone I can't trust 100%. People change as does life but it has its own natural rhythm that you can not fight.

 

Accept what you cannot change cause there is a lot you can.

Edited December 11, 2016 by Weathersf1

[Miss Clavel]

Its been a year since my ex girlfriend -

 

And then she disappears. Wont answer my calls, texts, emails. At first I got really nervous but after 3 days reality sunk in. I wasn't naive, I knew she either changed her mind or had been playing me all along. I leave her a voicemail threatening her that I have her forwarding address and all the "I love you" texts she sent me and if I don't hear back from her by the end of the day, I will show up at her door and let her boyfriend read those texts and see the naked pictures she sent me of her self.

 

15 minutes later, I receive a text "I am OK" followed by "I'm sorry". I don't text back a word. I cry like a little baby and then block her number. I realized in that moment that I had her on a pedestal and she knocked herself off. I promise myself that I will never reach out to her again.

 

By this time, its mid October and I decide to engage in 2 things that are my passion. Fitness and travel. I start crossfit and get in the best shape I have been in years and and I travel to Spain and Portugal. That trip absolutely changed my life.

 

I went from feeling heartbroken, worthless and discarded to grateful, appreciative and spiritual for all the gifts I have been granted. I am not a liar or a cheater. I will never put someone in a position where they might harm themselves. If I was severely depressed or had chemical dependencies or any kind of substance abuse problem. She could have killed me with her false hopes and promises of return.

 

I wish her all the luck and happiness in the world but our paths are never going to cross. My therapist told me "the best is yet to come". I never believed her as I felt the emotional and sexual chemistry I had with my ex will never be repeated with anyone else. The times with her best times of my life and everything from this point is just passing time.

 

While in Spain, I hiked in the Montesserot mountains. I saw the sunset in the Mediterranean of the coast of Mallorca. I saw the wall Romans built when they conquered Hispania 2000 years ago. I lived and understood the philosophy of Gautama Buddha "All that we are is the result of what we have thought".

 

I'm heading to Iceland next month and will continue to travel and see all the world and its wonders. While I train physically to be the best I can be.

 

I'm here to tell all of my friends that are suffering from the pain of heartbreak. I'm sorry for your pain and I promise you, IT WILL GET BETTER. I haven't found anyone to be with yet but I have found myself. I will continue to seek and appreciate every day on earth and even though life is far from perfect, its still beautiful with or without someone.

 

In some way I'm glad I broke no contact cause I saw who she is today and its not who I fell in love with. I still think about her but my path is different and I could never be with someone I can't trust 100%. People change as does life but it has its own natural rhythm that you can not fight.

 

Accept what you cannot change cause there is a lot you can.

 

you sir, are a better human being than i am. i'd be trekking, right over to her house.

 

sorry, she needs a hiking boot right up her....

 

the nerve!

[Weathersf1]

you sir, are a better human being than i am. i'd be trekking, right over to her house.

 

sorry, she needs a hiking boot right up her....

 

the nerve!

 

Thank you for your kind words.

[MidnightBlue1980]

This is a powerful post and I am happy for you that you have moved on.

[Tressugar]

Op,

 

I am sooo happy for you! You found the gift and hidden treasure to life!❤