Jenn0625 Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 Hi everyone I need you advice. My husband left me a week ago. I caught him texting someone when I went to his work and when he seen that I caught him he got all defensive. I asked who he was texting and he said his mom and then I asked to see and he wouldn't show me. I tried to grab for him phone but then he tried to block his phone from me and said see this is why. He has never been like since we have been married. We have been married for about 1 1/2 years now. We have been together for about 9 years. We have 2 kids together and he raised my oldest sons once he has been born. A week before he left me I kind of felt him acting different, and I made him mad one night by not coming home when I was babysitting my nephew because I was mad at him. The next day we told each other we were a little unhappy but wanted to fix this relationship because we love each other. We talked about what we needed and we both agreed. We were fine that weekend he was telling me he loved me and that he didn't want to see me with anyone else, we made passionate love with each other, and then on Monday he was talking about how we would be able to look for more houses in the beginning of the year and would tell me he loved. That night he came home from work I waited up for him he came on bed and we started making love. The next day Tuesday he told me he loves me and asked how my day was. It was good. Then I had to go to his work to get something out of his car and that's why I went in the grab his keys and then BAM everything blew up. He neve came on Tuesday night and he stayed with him mom. I was texting him like crazy on Wednesday saying this is the first bump in the road since we got married and that I love him so much and I wanted it to work. He replied back to me that this always happens and we have tried many time and it doesn't work, that life is too short not to be happy and he is not happy with me and he doesn't love me at all anymore. *he did this in the past 2 years ago before we got married same exact thing* I want my husband back because I still love him with all my heart. He is the best guy in the world, he would show me love, drop anything to help me and do anything for me. All the me memories we had together I don't want to lose. I truly see that I wasn't the wife he deserved because I didn't show him appreciation, affection and admiration. He is talking to someone else now and I want him back. Please someone help me. -Jenn Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 Hi everyone I need you advice. My husband left me a week ago. I caught him texting someone when I went to his work and when he seen that I caught him he got all defensive. I asked who he was texting and he said his mom and then I asked to see and he wouldn't show me. I tried to grab for him phone but then he tried to block his phone from me and said see this is why. He has never been like since we have been married. We have been married for about 1 1/2 years now. We have been together for about 9 years. We have 2 kids together and he raised my oldest sons once he has been born. A week before he left me I kind of felt him acting different, and I made him mad one night by not coming home when I was babysitting my nephew because I was mad at him. The next day we told each other we were a little unhappy but wanted to fix this relationship because we love each other. We talked about what we needed and we both agreed. We were fine that weekend he was telling me he loved me and that he didn't want to see me with anyone else, we made passionate love with each other, and then on Monday he was talking about how we would be able to look for more houses in the beginning of the year and would tell me he loved. That night he came home from work I waited up for him he came on bed and we started making love. The next day Tuesday he told me he loves me and asked how my day was. It was good. Then I had to go to his work to get something out of his car and that's why I went in the grab his keys and then BAM everything blew up. He neve came on Tuesday night and he stayed with him mom. I was texting him like crazy on Wednesday saying this is the first bump in the road since we got married and that I love him so much and I wanted it to work. He replied back to me that this always happens and we have tried many time and it doesn't work, that life is too short not to be happy and he is not happy with me and he doesn't love me at all anymore. *he did this in the past 2 years ago before we got married same exact thing* I want my husband back because I still love him with all my heart. He is the best guy in the world, he would show me love, drop anything to help me and do anything for me. All the me memories we had together I don't want to lose. I truly see that I wasn't the wife he deserved because I didn't show him appreciation, affection and admiration. He is talking to someone else now and I want him back. Please someone help me. -Jenn I don't understand. Why did everything blow up when you got something from his car? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 Check your phone bill. Any begging, pleading, etc at this time will push him further away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 File for divorce immediately. Do the 180. Right now he wants to do as he pleases and sadly that means not being around you. So, give him what he wants, freedom. Doesn't mean that you are going to divorce but I think that if he sees that you are taking control and putting yourself first, he might just wake up and realize what he's about to lose. Hire a PI. Have proof and facts that he is actually cheating on you. Right now he IS having an appropriate friendship with someone, ie the texting and hiding it, acting defensive. If you beg, plead and cry around him, he sees you as weak and needy, that pushes him out the door. FIND YOUR ANGER! Get counseling please, to help you cope with this. Talk to your closest friends and those whom your trust for support. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 The best guy in the world and he's texting some other woman? And has told you not once but twice that he's not happy and doesn't love you? If he was so unhappy yet such a great guy, he would not be dealing with his unhappiness by seeking out another woman. You need to see this for what it is - a marriage that is not working. Follow whichwayisup's advice and file. Show him you mean business and you will not be disrespected in your own marriage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 Have you considered journaling? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 Check your phone bill. Jenn0625, what most of us found out the hard way is that what you know now is the tip of the iceberg, I'm afraid there's most likely much more. Check the phone, text, email and social media accounts you have access to, knowledge in this case truly is power. Once you understand what you're up against, it will be easier to make some informed decisions. Keep posting... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 Hi Jenn, so sorry to see you here. Heed the advice given by Mr. Lucky and others. It seems your marriage is over and you are going to be on your own. Seek the help of family and close friends and start working on how you are going to separate from him. Eben if you don't file for divorce he probably will. So just be mentally prepared. As far as getting your husband back, the old saying 'You can take a horse to water but you cannot make it drink' seems to hold true here. Really sorry but you have to toughen yourself up and face reality. Warm wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 You said he did the same thing two years ago. Was he involved with other women then, too? My husband cheated on my before we were married, too, but justified his behavior by saying we weren't married yet, so he had done nothing wrong (stupid me for staying that time!). I stayed another 32 years, one quick cheating incident was right after we were married, but before the kids (stupid is as stupid does), but I was SURE that time it was the alcohol's fault. The two times after that (once when I was 6 mos pregnant with his child) I stayed "for the children". Meanwhile, my adult daughters all have horrible taste in men, and I blame myself for giving them a bad example of how a man is supposed to treat his wife, the woman he loves, the mother of his children. He was a good father, crappy husband. Do you have daughters? What example do you want to set for them? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jenn0625 Posted December 13, 2016 Author Share Posted December 13, 2016 Vla1120, thanks so much for that. I have 2 daughters with him and I think about that all the time now. I asked my kids if they were upset and they were like not really because it happens all the time. I don't want them to think this is normal. I think I'm starting to get over this little hump of wanting him back. I am finally realizing that I didn't deserve what he did and for my kids too. Thanks everyone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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