Feeling terrible after breaking it off

[Daisyface]

I recently dated this guy for a month. I had a good time and enjoyed getting to know him . He’s a really good person, kind, mature and honest.

 

After the last date he asked me to be his girlfriend . I felt totally overwhelmed/shocked at the timing of this. Historically it takes me a long time of getting to know someone before I feel comfortable committing. I didn’t feel like I knew him well enough to decide if I see a future . There is an emotional connectedness/closeness that I need with someone and I don’t feel that with him yet.

 

He assured me that he could wait for me to develop more feelings & that his intention was not to pressure me, but I didn’t want to drag him along. So I ended up breaking it off saying if I don’t have enough feelings now then it isn’t right. I could tell this really hurt him but he agreed.

 

I really tried hard to make the right decision , and although it was painful I thought breaking it off was the unselfish thing to do. But instead of feeling relieved I just feel so sad. It’s been nearly a week and I’ve never felt this horrible after rejecting someone. The anxiety of this is so bad I even cried at work the other day, I can’t focus and all I do is think about him, how much I hurt him, and how I wish I had at least given it a shot. He was so good to me, and I did like him, I just felt guilty that I wasn’t ready to invest the amount he was asking for. It was difficult for me to decide whether or not this meant I should stop dating him.

 

I don’t know how to solve this and just feel better.

 

I feel I don’t deserve to reach out to him again, and I DON’T want to be that person that plays with someone’s else’s heart. I truly feel he deserves someone who says yes the first time. But at the same time I feel so angry toward myself, like I’ve let something good go out of fear. Usually Im so sure and clear about the relationships that are right or wrong for me, but this situation has me feeling like mess..I don’t know how I’ve become this person and Im really not proud of it ):

 

Thoughts on this?

 

Thank you!!

[CelticGibson]

You clearly still like the guy so why don't you just contact him and tell him everything you said here? His request may have overwhelmed you and caused you to react drastically. If he's willing to take things slow then I don't see why you two can't be dating and see where it goes. You clearly have commitment issues that need to be worked on and maybe with his help, you both might find a solution?

 

If you don't take a chance, you don't stand to gain.

 

After all it's better than feeling like this right? That's my take on this anyway.

[ilovemefirst]

I would tell him how i feel. If not, when time passes, you may regret not reaching out. Just be honest with him. He seems to really have liked you, so give it a chance!

Good luck