annoying fat coworker rant

[slimjim]

i'm on your side 40. i have known people like this, that are just annoying and you cant explain it, it just is. When you try to , as you did in your rant, you just get this self righteous crap to put a guilt trip on you. Judgemental, mean,etc. etc. whatever work she is doing, subtract the productivity loss she is causing from others if she is not meshing (or "fitting") in with the group. these others probably have escapes from the people that annoy them...you are imprisoned with this heffer. Anyway, i had the same food snatching problem one time and here's how to solve that VERY quickly.

 

Go buy a pack of that EXLAX laxative (EXLAX, THE "GENTLE LAXATIVE!!!"). Get a box of that betty crocker brownie mix, and melt that exlax into the batter and cook it. a moron can bake this stuff. then, to provide "plausible deniability", pay some punk somewhere to deliver it to the office from a secret admirer or something, addressed to no one, and remove 1 slice. Nature and her fat arse will do the rest. do it when she has a lot of access to it alone, or else you may inadvertently procure other victims. you do not want to be a serial bomber here, but there are sometimes inadvertant casualties in war, and this is what this is.

 

Just sit back and enjoy the show-- you will accomplish many goals, both hers and yours. She will not only walk during lunch, but will now be running. she will lose weight very quickly for a short time. she will keep all those chins from flapping for a while, so you wont have to listen to her crap....well, you may hear her crap, but i digress. And in the middle of of this apocalyptic adventure in your workplace, YOU>>>YOU be the one to bring her the bottle of pepto bismol, and suggest that she see a dr. or at least take the day off......you know there are a lot of 24 hour viruses out there. AH, the old wolf in sheeps clothing...macheavelli? would be proud. its a beautiful thing.........

 

You would have made great strides in preventing her from comandeering food. Believe me, my stooge got the message from stealing food, and he needed a friggin taste tester before he would eat anything he didnt bring himself. And dont go on a guilt trip afterwards.....you accomplished your goal, war is hell, and NEVER tell anyone else.......except us, or me, and let me know how it went. GOOD luck if you decide to take this mission!!!!!

[whichwayisup]

She is not shy about it, has no shame. She had been walking on her lunch hours, and has lost quite a bit of weight, but she hasn't lost the rudeness.

 

Say something to her. You don't have to be rude, just come right out and say, "You know, there are lots of other people here too, maybe ask first instead of just diving in..." Or while she's reaching over for the grub, firmly say " There isn't alot to go around, so please just take one piece, okay? Thanks!!" And smile graciously...

 

And WHY is she asking YOU for your food? Doesn't she pack her own lunch? Or pack enough? I would say something about that too. Just abit weird, but isn't everybody in their own unique way?

[Treasa]

So you basically have a much better life than this woman (at least at work), and you want to rant. That's fine. You don't have a diary? So you make so much more money than this woman, have your own office, and you can't afford $5 for a pad of paper? You wanted people to agree with you, and most people don't, so you're getting defensive. That's the double-edged sword that is freedom of speech and posting in a public place.

 

I've always found it interesting that people with not much in their lives can find a lot to be happy about, but those who have a lot just gripe about things. Let's say a close family member died tomorrow. Would you really give a crap that this woman took a piece of pizza? If you aren't starving, and can afford food for yourself, who cares? When I was a kid I used to stand in food lines with my mom, who didn't get child support for my father, was laid off, and had to support me by herself. But I NEVER heard her piss and moan about it. I'm not saying she's better than you (well, ok, she is, but that's a personal bias of mine), but she had a good outlook and knew what was important in life. ME, and making sure we had food.

[slimjim]

treasa;

 

talk about pre-judging someone. this was just a steam blowing event. its aggravating to some people when someone picks over their food. just look at dogs---some let others eat with them and some fight. just different strokes. what means little for you might be a big deal for someone else. steal a horse in new york, who cares??/call PITA. steal one in texas and you're a dead man.

 

he's not talking about depriving anyone from food ---your mother at the food bank had nothing to complain about the food, but i damn guarantee she would have if you and her would have been waiting to get some and then this blimp, who could live off one of her thighs for a year, would come and want some of your food. dont you think your mom, who was just protecting you, would have opened a can of whoop ass?

 

this isnt about survival, its about politeness, and different sensibilities. what should 40 have to suck it up, and this woman not have to RESPECT his sensibilities??? talk is cheap, and getting even is a better lesson than getting mad, hence my previous post of how to solve this permanently. its obvious that this woman cant take a hint that her actions are annoying; some people just need the perverbial 2x4 between the eyes before they can focus and you can get their attention. And fat isnt an insult, its a fact. whether you like it or not--no need to apologize 40.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

Maybe some of you have a different definition of a rant. I wasn't looking for approval or help or for anyone to agree with me. Opinions are welcome, and nobody has offended me....cuz u already know I don't give a rats azz what anyone else thinks.

 

I don't obsess about this everyday. Today it bothered me alot so I ranted (and the HR lady was away)

[manders_01]

Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40

Maybe some of you have a different definition of a rant. I wasn't looking for approval or help or for anyone to agree with me. Opinions are welcome, and nobody has offended me....cuz u already know I don't give a rats azz what anyone else thinks.

 

I don't obsess about this everyday. Today it bothered me alot so I ranted (and the HR lady was away)

 

Maybe I forgot why we all joined this message board, but I thought it was so we could rant and rave just as much as we ask for opinions.

 

Originally posted by Moose I don't need her opinions on someone I don't personally know, keep them to herself

 

Originally posted by Rosalind I think what Moose is getting at is - many people are not interested in engaging in gossip about someone they don't personally know.

 

Do you not realize you are posting on the world wide web?

 

I'm a bit confused by those who are one your case about sharing information about someone they don't know. Isn't that what all these posts are? And if you don't want to hear about someone you don't know - quit reading!

[lindya]

Originally posted by manders_01

Maybe I forgot why we all joined this message board, but I thought it was so we could rant and rave just as much as we ask for opinions.

 

When people post a ranting message, it may or may not be reflective of the way they conduct themselves in their day to day life. I don't know if the original poster would go into work and discuss his or her colleague like this with other people. I suspect not, and think that this really was just a case of sounding off. It would be a pretty boring thread if everyone just posted along the lines of "I agree unreservedly. Your colleague sounds both greedy and rude. Perhaps invest in a safe to protect your chocolate eggs?" The best threads are those containing diverse opinions - some agreeing, others challenging.

 

You'll see some ranting posts, however, that reveal the poster's own unsavoury or painful issues coming to the fore. For example, the common example of someone who's not completely forgiven themselves for past mistakes or indiscretions - and is dealing with it by posting harmful and judgemental rubbish about others who are now in the position they were in.

 

Posting a laughing or sympathetic smilie in response to venting or bitchy posts might be easier, and prevents you from getting flamed or ridiculed for getting on your high horse. On the other hand if it's pretty blatant that a poster has "unresolved issues" that they're projecting onto someone else, they might as well be told that's how it's coming across. Better to get that message in an anonymous forum, therefore getting the opportunity to check yourself, than to blunder on regardless and find yourself in a damaging or humiliating confrontation in real life.

[fiatflux]

The HR lady took the day off? So you would actually go and discuss the pizza thing with the HR lady? Gimme a break. Look, you have a right to tell her to leave your lunch and chocolates alone, but when it comes to the other stuff, just stay out of it. Quit playing the mean spirited games too. You are in your forties, huh? Well, act like it.

[Treasa]

Originally posted by slimjim

treasa;

 

talk about pre-judging someone. this was just a steam blowing event.

 

I didn't prejudge her. I didn't say she prejudged someone. Prejuding means to judge before having all the evidence, such as assuming that all black men are drug-toting gun-wielding maniacs (I can use that one because my best friend is a black man). I said that if she's going to come to a public place to rant, expect people to tell her she's either being overly critical or sounding whiny. Freedom of speech works both ways like that.

 

Just wanted to clarify the meaning of the word for you.

[Outcast]

MWC, who put you in charge of regulating others' lives? Or, rather, of thinking you are entitled to do so?

 

Why do people respond to rants like this? Because they demonstrate that the ranter may have problems of her own that need to be addressed.

 

I suspect you dislike this person just because she's obese and have come up with all these other 'reasons' to dislike her to fool yourself and others into believing that your dislike is reasonable. You don't want to think of yourself as someone who is unfair and judgmental so you try to paint this person as someone so seriously flawed that she really should be considered an unacceptable person.

 

As you see, it's not working.

 

And here's the thing; allowing someone to upset you so much does your own spirit violence. For whatever reason, she hasn't the same manners as you. Perhaps she grew up among friends and family who all considered sharing food as a gesture of friendship and fun. Surely you can't think that moving dishes away from her and snickering among yourselves is mature or polite?

 

For instance, the poster who says this isnt about survival, its about politeness also suggests you behave like an elementary school brat and spike some food with laxatives. It's pitiful that people complaining of others' rudeness seem to think that being even ruder is the appropriate response.

 

I suggest you turn your focus to the good things in life and in people, as Treasa suggests, rather than obsessing about someone else's life.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

Actually I believe I was the last person in the office to see the true person Judy is. I was probably the last person to be friendly toward her. We even had drinks on a business trip and got along quite well. When her offensive actions started surfacing in my presence, I realized she is not a person I wish to be friends with. Thank Goodness I do not work closely with her because in conversations with other coworkers I found out they have had many frustrations trying to get this woman to do her job properly.

 

I asked why is she still here and was told HR has talked to her many times but apparently, the person she reports to is one of the owners and this owner is a real softy, and Judy knows that all she has to do is cry in front of him and he gives her another chance after chance after chance.

 

Also recently found out she prints off religious documents for her church groups using company computer/printer/time and also uses the colour printer which is reserved for presentations only (I have NEVER used this printer for personal stuff). One woman felt guilty for printing one page and Judy commented Oh I printed seven pages today and didn't get caught!

 

She will call someone a "jerk" if you have something yummy for lunch and she is envious. C'mon...a jerk? How about Oh you lucky ****! but a jerk? sheesh. I know, just a bad choice of words. But last week I was standing beside her at the dessert table at our golf banquet, and they were calling the names for prizes (everyone gets a prize, by the way). They called someone's name who happened to be seated at her table and she BELLOWED across the room (and into my ear) and the whole place could hear "KEVIN YOU JERK!" People just stared at her. I glared at her and left.

[SoftDrink]

i don't care whether you rant or not, i just think it's funny that you think this woman is such a greedy slob--and yet you pack SIX chocolate easter eggs in your lunch and plan on eating them all--and you're bewildered at the thought of sharing them.

 

even people who know you "don't share chocolate" might find this as irritating as you find the other selfish woman in the office.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

So Judy was in a meeting yesterday with 3 other people. They ordered a large pizza that came sliced into 8 pieces. Do the math.....

 

She was the first person to grab her second piece (yes GRAB so I'm told).

 

When there was one piece left in the box she had the nerve to ask "Is anyone gonna eat that last piece?"

 

When "M" piped up and said, "yes that's my second piece" Judy STILL had the nerve to ask....Are you going to eat the whole thing?

 

So "M" courteously sliced her piece in half for Judy. The nerve of some people.

[Outcast]

You really need to get over this.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

Originally posted by Outcast

You really need to get over this.

 

I know.

 

[SoftDrink]

Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40

So Judy was in a meeting yesterday with 3 other people. They ordered a large pizza that came sliced into 8 pieces. Do the math.....

 

She was the first person to grab her second piece (yes GRAB so I'm told).

 

When there was one piece left in the box she had the nerve to ask "Is anyone gonna eat that last piece?"

 

When "M" piped up and said, "yes that's my second piece" Judy STILL had the nerve to ask....Are you going to eat the whole thing?

 

So "M" courteously sliced her piece in half for Judy. The nerve of some people.

 

nevermind, i'm stupid.

[lindya]

My liking for pizza may be coming to the fore here, but you're starting to convert me to the chocolate hoarding "stop this woman at all costs" camp. It sounds akin to having a dog sitting in front of you, its eyes dark pools of anguish and its mouth a mess of drool and foam as it watches you chomp into something tasty.

 

A subtle approach probably won't work here. Next time she does it, I'd be tempted to snap "Can't we just be allowed to enjoy our food? Bloody well stop trying to scrounge every morsel of food from other people's mouths. " The tone is important. Sufficient humour to avoid a nasty scene, but some meaningful direct eye contact to let her know that you're not really joking.

 

Or you could take it a step further. Try aiming a deep, throaty growl at her if she comes close to your food. If she ignores that, pick up a stainless steel fork and jab it warningly in her direction whilst snarling viciously. Unless she has a neck of brass, a skull of iron and a skin of leather, that should surely get the message through.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

I am going to have to get up the nerve to say something next time. We had one of our office microwaves stolen over the weekend, so that left only one. I had my lean cuisine in there with 2 minutes to go. She waited impatiently asking why we haven't gotten another micowave yet. C'mon, it's only TUESDAY and it was stolen on Sunday!

 

People kept lookin at her every time she made a comment cuz she was just plain rude and her comments were uncalled for and getting on our nerves. Then I (nicely) said, well I have to stir it and it has two more minutes to go. She grabbed her lunch in a huff and went to the exec's kitchen (as was suggested to her after her initial comment).

 

What's the f'ing difference? We get 45 min for lunch. It takes 3-5 min to heat your lunch, 5 min to eat it, which leaves 35 min to sit and do nothing. So hey, here's an idea....sit and do nothing for the FIRST 5 min of your lunch break while you wait.

 

PS. Oh and I have seen her LEAP in front of others to get to the microwave before them.

[Outcast]

Bet she's very impulsive in everything she does. Bet she can't wait and is impatient about everything. Bet that's her 'problem'. In which case, it'll never be fixed. No amount of snarky remarks will repair this.

[Lil Honey]

MWC was upset in the original post. That's plain to see. He has the right to rant.

 

Unfortunately, mentioning the co-worker's weight turned the thread in an unintended direction. I can see how her size is relevent to the fact that she is fingering everyone's food. I can also see how some thought that her size was the underlying reason that MWC was angry.

 

First, like someone else said, I think that her behavior (and mine and yours) comes from upbringing. At the same time, I think going through other people's stuff (food, desk items, etc.) is rude and by the time one is in an office setting, they should have their manners in place.

 

Second, I have a battle with my weight ALL the time (I have hypothyroidism). It isn't easy but it CAN be done. In MWC's post he even SAID that this co-worker had lost weight. It doesn't seem like she has much support for her efforts, yet I understand that it's a personal matter as well.

 

Third, I think that if no one likes her, there shouldn't be a problem telling her, flat out, not to do something that is ill-mannered. For example, there is NO WAY I would stand for someone getting their hands in my food or lunch. It isn't because I don't want to share and it isn't because I "have to have my food." It is because I don't know where their hands have been. It's a cleanliness thing for me. So, if she went for my food, I would look at her and simply say, in a firm voice, "I don't like people messing with my food. Please stop." MWC already doesn't like her, so what's to lose?

[millefiori]

Most often people talk bad about other people, because they don't have the courage to tell them the truth to their face, thus they are forced to let their suppressed anger out through gossiping and complaining. If they had the courage to confront the offender directly, there would be less problems. People who are self-confident enough to assert their rights feel less compelled to vent, they have solved their problem and that's it, end of story and no need to dwell on it.

 

MWC_LifeBeginsAt40, I read your other post about social anxiety and I think you're the kind of person who never says anything directly, instead you feel forced to accept situations that are imposed on you by outer influences that you can not control well. This in return triggers passive-aggressive reactions from you. You can change it by saying something. The moment you have influence on a situation and have some control over it, you will feel less helpless rage.

[clandestinidad]

"Can I try some of your soup?"

 

Good God, thats disgusting!!! Just the thought of sharing soup w/ ANYONE makes me ill!!!!!! their mouth on the spoon, then in my soup, stirring it around.....BLEEEHH...or my spit in the soup that theyre then eating!!!!!

 

Also, I always think its funny that we all argue/disagree on one thread, and then laugh/agree/have fun on another one.....I LOVE this place (though i'm not sure what's thought of ME...haha)

 

So anyway, you were venting....and thats what you thought/felt about it. maybe at some point she wont be so pushy/feel entitled, or work somewhere else...or maybe youll change your view of the situation.....but its always fine to vent!!!

[Sick-of-fatness]

Of course it's not nice to tell someone you can't stand them! And yes, it's petty to talk about them behind their back(s)! But you can't be nice and petty-free all the time! There's nothing wrong with ranting about the annoying idiot at work (fat or not) and because the Internet is somewhat anonymous, this is _exactly_ the place to do it!

 

Anyone who scolds you for venting here needs to get off their soapboxes and admit that they, too, have been annoyed, frustrated or disgusted at someone they've worked with AND have said something naty behind their back.

 

If you say you haven't, then you're a liar! Or you're not human. If you're not human, then you still can't say anything because you've never experienced petty human emotions!

 

I can empathize with the hate you feel towards this cow. There's not many things worse than a fat co-worker constantly breathing down your neck for chocolate...or pizza....whatever food has gotten their attention.

[Rosalind]

Originally posted by Sick-of-fatness

I can empathize with the hate you feel towards this cow

 

Well look what we have here, now aren't YOU just a sweetheart!!!

 

Funny, how you've only posted ONCE, and made this thread your target.

 

It's cuz we know you ....

[jkp1979]

I have this feeling that you are also a bit overweight or not very pretty, and you are picking on this woman because she is the only person you view as being worse off than you are. As a generally self-confident person, I really dislike when I see people like yourself ganging up on others. Here's a suggestion: try being nice to Judy. You might just find that, in being nice to her, you like yourself better. I know that treating people with kindness and having the class to ignore this kind of petty, immature gossip makes me feel good. People like yourself make work environments toxic with your own insecurities and lack of class.