BonerFide Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 (edited) I was seeing my ex for about a year before he ended things last October, but it was pretty mutual, we just grew apart I guess. I was happy not talking since I liked having space to move on so we literally didn't talk after the whole BU talk, not until summer. He texted me randomly out of the blue apologizing for how he did the BU (was over the phone) and we texted all day about random things, mostly reminiscing. Since then it has happened occasionally, every few weeks or so he would reach out and we would text. The conversations flow really well so we usually end up texting all day, sometimes about lighthearted stuff, sometimes about ourselves and our lives... you get it, right? Just anywhere the conversation goes. He has occasionally been a bit more than friendly. Like saying things like "thanks for being so great" and saying he wouldn't mind the things we used to argue about and how he has changed etc. The last time we texted he said he wanted to meet up properly, as friends, over Christmas break (we both are at different colleges) because texting wasn't the same and I agreed because a part of me does miss him. I was pretty much over it in the summer, had a great year of being single, hanging with friends, seeing a few other guys casually etc. I'm mainly just wondering what this means? I've pretty much resolved that I'm going to go because I don't want to forever wonder what if I'd gone etc. Also he is nice and I would be happy to just be friends but I feel like I'm getting some different vibes. Half of me thinks why would he still be so interested in talking to me and want to hang out after so long, and be saying some of the things he does. Half of me thinks: he said as friends so it's as friends and I shouldn't overthink it. Thoughts? Edited December 12, 2016 by BonerFide clarity Link to post Share on other sites
LargoLagg Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 It's so much easier to deal with an ex when they know their place - IN THE PAST. That goes for the both of you, btw. Whatever you do, you'd better get it straight in your head first. I can't tell what you're looking for out of this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonerFide Posted December 12, 2016 Author Share Posted December 12, 2016 (edited) It's so much easier to deal with an ex when they know their place - IN THE PAST. That goes for the both of you, btw. Whatever you do, you'd better get it straight in your head first. I can't tell what you're looking for out of this. I don't know what I want. Wouldn't be closed to the idea of reconciliation, think there would be a chance it could be amazing. I just want to know what he wants basically. Edited December 12, 2016 by BonerFide Wrote a lot but basically none of it made sense Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonerFide Posted December 12, 2016 Author Share Posted December 12, 2016 I resolved to go because I don't want to be wondering what if, and I know that I can have a decent life for myself without him so even if worst-case scenario occurred I could live with it. That being said, there are still some feelings there. I do still care about him and he's on my mind quite a lot. I'd be happy to be friends but I wouldn't be closed to the idea of reconciliation either as I think it's been so long and I'm such a better person now that there's a chance it could work-- who knows? He did say as friends so it could just be as friends... I don't understand why he randomly would now of all times but I'd be okay with it haha. Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 (edited) I don't know what I want. Wouldn't be closed to the idea of reconciliation, think there would be a chance it could be amazing. I just want to know what he wants basically. As long as there are no trust issues (cheating etc.) or ill feelings towards the break up. Only way to find out, ask him. Sounds like you are pretty open to trying again. Put in on the table. Friends or lovers? Can't just be friends if either one of you is still attractive physically to the other. Edited December 12, 2016 by dumbass2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 'You never truly realise what you have lost, until you no longer have it' One of those cliche phrases, but definitely applies here. I can only assume he misses you and would like to get to know you all over again. Mutual breakups, non-mutual breakups, simple breakups to difficult ones. The only purpose someone would want to involve you in their current life after a period of time apart, is to essentially be involved with you again. I can't see it as anything different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonerFide Posted December 12, 2016 Author Share Posted December 12, 2016 As long as there are no trust issues (cheating etc.) or ill feelings towards the break up. Only way to find out, ask him. Sounds like you are pretty open to trying again. Put in on the table. Friends or lovers? Can't just be friends if either one of you is still attractive physically to the other. Ya that's the thing there really wasn't. It was just us figuring out both of our's first serious relationship and we always fell out about unimportant things. The break up was heated but after we were both just sad. He said the reason he didn't reach out sooner was that he thought I wouldn't want to talk to him, and now we're getting on so well. I might ask him. Seems SO forward though lol, we'll see if I can be that bold. Link to post Share on other sites
springy Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 The last time we texted he said he wanted to meet up properly, as friends, over Christmas break (we both are at different colleges) because texting wasn't the same and I agreed because a part of me does miss him. Unless you are going to ask him straight out, I would take it at face value. He wants to see you "as friends". Go in with no expectations. Link to post Share on other sites
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