I want my 2nd chance

[Kira Onime]

Hello,

 

Couple of days ago me and my girlfriend had a huge fight and we broke up. We have been together since June but we have kinda acted almost like a couple months before we oficially got together. We worked in the same coffee shop for half a year and everyone liked us as a couple, except my closest friends who didn't like her that much. We had an amazing time together, we even went on a holiday together visiting beautiful cities in our country just the two of us. In october something happend and i felt like she lost interest, she was much colder than she used to be, and we had our fights before but she always said she loves me and we always discussed that we are going to make it work. I accidentally caught her talking to a guy, who is a good friend of hers and a daily client at the coffee shop she works and i used to work. I didn't see that she was talking to him, just that she was talking to someone but my best friend (who's a girl) saw the name of the dude, we ended up fighting and she never admited she was talking to him, she swore it wasn't a guy and that it was her best friend. I ended up believing her for the sake of our relationship. After that she was in a club with some girls and i saw a picture there where she kissed a friend of ours on the neck, i always felt that there is something between them and she always denied it. We eventually got passed that too, just because the guy is a former collegue of ours from the coffee shop and good friends with us, but they are closer as friends. On our 5th month aniversary i bought her a necklace and she only wore it only a couple of days. When we broke up it was a day before our 6th month aniversary, i asked her if she wanted to go out that day but she already planned to go out in a club with her girls. I reminded her it was our 6th month aniversary, she said she forgot and that she was sorry and that she was going to sleep. When she woke up i told her i needed some time to think, because i was overwhelmed with my family problems and because of all the former episodes that really affected me. She got really angry because i wanted a brake and that she wants to brake up. Tomorow is my birthday, i convinced her to meet me since it is my birthday, even tho she refused initally because she said there is no reason for us to see eachother because of the discussions we will have. I told her i won't risk asking her to get back together since i don't want to be refused on my birthday and then she accepted.

Tomorow we meet, if she doesn't change her mind, i want her back. What am i supposed to do?

 

Please don't tell me to let her go, i know i should but i don't want to lose her since i love her, she might not be the best for me (all my best friends say it) and you guys will probably say the same. I will eventually let her go if we won't get back together but i have to try, i know i should start dealing with the fact that it's over but i'm not willing to do it without a fight. If there is any advice of how to get her back please help

[DKT3]

Way too much drama for only six months...just be been with her she doesn't seem that in to you anyways.

[DarrenB]

Your relationship screams dysfunctional and incompatible. I'm sorry, but with what you have stated I don't think you'll be advised to 'take a chance' or 'fight for you two to be together'.

 

The fact that you've essentially wrongly persuaded her to see you on your birthday... I don't understand? what is your intentions then? you claim that you won't make an act or a scene to get her back, but what do you really expect is going to happen? any type of provoking, and you'll just have conflict. Do you really want that?

 

I am an advocate of reconciling, and having potential in people getting back together, assuming that there's been a suitable amount of time to develop yourselves and go through that 'trial and error' period. I personally feel you're just being too hasty. Incredibly in-denial, which is not your fault.

 

You cannot force or persuade her to take you back. Well, you can but why on earth would you want false love in your life? You need to understand as much as you might want something, the other person genuinely might not want the same.

 

I think you just need to accept that this was a short term relationship where you unfortunately were more intimate and romantically invested to her than she was with you. It may have been a good relationship for a while, but obviously what was good deteriorated, gradually over time. She may have lost interest, so why go through all the effort if you will have in the back of your mind the insecurities that it will happen all over again?