bestmannsgirl Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 Well, here it goes. I've been suspecting for several months now, that something wasn't right, a behavior change in the guy that I was involved with for the last 5 years.I suspected another woman. You know women can tell when something is wrong ,even though he really tried to hide it. We didn't live together,though. Anyway, he calls me the other afternoon, and asks me what I was doing. I told him I was going home. He said he would call me back.I waited and waited and no call.He told me he was tired and going home at 3 pm. Suddenly, something came over me and I decided to take a ride through our company's parking lot. I saw his van there, and noticed the top of the van was open, meaning he had to be inside. I ride around again, when I noticed the van rocking, and rocking, and rocking. So- I blew the horn , and the van would not stop rocking. So, I decided to tap the van with my car to grab his attention. Seconds later, he comes out in shorts and a tank top, and the first thing out of his mouth was "What's the matter?", so I said "so sorry , sarcastically-oh did I hit the van", then I said "so you are F*** around, right?", and the last thing I said was "Have A Nice Life".And I left! Can you believe this idiot, did not say a word, no apology, nothing! And hasn't called me in two days - to at least attempt to say something. Not that I would talk to him-anyway. Men! 5 years wasted on that loser jerk! Link to post Share on other sites
Leah Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 So be careful you dont let history repeat itself.... it's hard as hell to do, considering there are so many of them out there Link to post Share on other sites
HeartlessBastard Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 Well you did tap his van with your car.... Could that be construed as vehicular assault? Link to post Share on other sites
Samantha2005 Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 Oh well, he was probably fat and bald anyway and just having it off with some desparate woman !!! Consider yourself lucky ... from your description sounds like he was pretty scary lookin sight ... he probably had to force her ... lol ... omg !! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bestmannsgirl Posted July 16, 2005 Author Share Posted July 16, 2005 He was good looking, and I'm still hurting, it was painful to catch him in the act. But more so, when he didn't say a word. Just said "What's the matter", in an angry voice. I should have called the police- because he would have been summoned, but I didn't want a confrontation with the other woman and him. So- I just took off in my car. Regardless, I'm still hurting, because I did have feelings for him, and cared about him. He hasn't made any attempt whatsoever to apology or anything. I suppose he likes the other woman more. He probably went back to the van- and told her I was his ex- and lied his way back in. I'm still depressed and shocked about what happened. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 Well, at least now you know. It hurts like hell to lose someone, even if that someone is a pathetic loser. Don't let it show that you're hurting and tell this story to all your friends out laughing, something like: "he's such a croge that he doesn't even have the decency to take his lays to a hotel. I imagine she must be really special, that's why he's saving up his hotel money". And don't say anything about his not being apologetic. Just act like you're totally over him . I know it sould very shallow what I'm suggesting, but it helps. And after a while, if you keep acting this way, you'll even start believing it. Hon, hang in there and start fighting. Link to post Share on other sites
Samantha2005 Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 Additionally... this should serve as handwriting on the wall that this guy is a problem. You're disappointed and that's NORMAL !! But at least you know he's not an option now. You're a smart girl to stay away frm this guy because some women would keep on with him anyway !! Good luck to you ... again... consider yourself extremely lucky that you found him out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bestmannsgirl Posted July 16, 2005 Author Share Posted July 16, 2005 It was my first day back to work today, and I didn't see him, so that's a plus. However, I noticed that he moved his position, meaning he is parking his vehicle someplace else. Since I didn't make a scene like a lot of women would have done probably, I think the loser is scared. Thanks so much for all you caring advice- I did that today, acting happy, carefree, etc, while still hurting very much inside. Yes- I'm certainly glad I only wasted 5 years and not 10. I must agree- the other one must have very low-standards to rock in the van, her problem now. Not mine! I hope she realizes in time- what he did to me he'll do to her. He's a lying, cheating, cheap dog. The only other thing that perturbs me about all this, is she probably knows who I am, and I don't have a clue who she is. Since we all work together. Link to post Share on other sites
Samantha2005 Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 I must say, I would be curious to know who it is too.... I suppose it would have to be someone you're working with. It's too bad you can't put a concealed, mini camera near his truck just to find out, but I suppose that wouldn't be very practical. I'm like you, even though I would know I'd never get back with him, I'd just want to know if it's someone I'm talking to every day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bestmannsgirl Posted July 16, 2005 Author Share Posted July 16, 2005 Even though I would love to know, I'm not going to bother. I'll just put the nail to the coffin. Eventually, she'll figure out why I dumped him, if not ,she's plain ignorant and they deserve each other. There's plenty of fish out there! I'm slowly but surely getting over the crumb. A friend of mine today, (a guy) also informed me that as a guy he almost guarantees me that my ex- saw me behind him honking the horn ,but ignored me- and when I tapped the rear of my ex's-car that's when he came out. He also told me as a guy his strategy, that he will wait until I cool off, and then attempt to see me or call me. Now, he said -he is plain avoiding me- because he's scared- not knowing my further reaction. Either way- too late for him! Link to post Share on other sites
shygurl Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 Seriously, what kind of guy screws someone in his van on COMPANY PROPERTY? Although there's likely no specific company policy on shagging in the parking lot, I'd imagine that if he'd been caught by someone who wanted to raise hell for him, he could be seriously reprimanded or suspended for such inappropriate behavior? What a dolt. The whole thing reminds me of some of those funked out Shaggin' Wagon Boogie Vans from the 70's, with the Fuzzy Dice hanging from the rear-view mirror, the orange shag carpet inside, and the whole "don't bother knockin' if this van's a knockin" - with the sounds of "Stayin' Alive" playing in the background. Sorry, not trying to make light of your situation but the guy sounds like a tacky sleazebag. Link to post Share on other sites
Samantha2005 Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 That sounds right to me... avoiding a confrontation and waiting until you cool down thinking that you'll either forget it or just think, "oh well". He will certainly find out, won't he. Let us know what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bestmannsgirl Posted July 17, 2005 Author Share Posted July 17, 2005 I will definitely keep you posted, so far it's been 3days it happened on Wed. I do have my moments though- which I really try to block the image of the van rocking back and forth out of my mind. It can certainly drive a person crazy! Anyway, I believe there is a company policy, since the company is high-profile. I'm sure he would have been either suspended or fired. But then again, I would have been portrayed as a scorn woman, without witnesses, like security, etc. Which they have it there. Also, what comes around goes around. Believe me, I've thought of many things, but again all thoughts. Seeking revenge, like putting crazy glue on his vehicle, 4 flat tires, etc, he would know it's me, and to be honest not really my style. Yes- I'm hurt, but I believe just walking away from it all, is enough. I don't won't to end up with any diseases, who knows what the other one has, the history behind her. Link to post Share on other sites
shygurl Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 considering you had suspicions that he'd been cheating on you, and you know now that he was - you gotta consider getting yourself tested for all kinds of STDs because who knows how long he's been doing this and what the health history of this chick is. Don't mean to scare you but the sooner the better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bestmannsgirl Posted July 17, 2005 Author Share Posted July 17, 2005 Oh-yes- I do agree! I will make an appointment. That's the real sad thing about this, men get involved with women, don't even do a background search on their past. Of course, women won't tell them exactly how many before- so like myself, the women who catch them cheating are the victims. He's such a low life-to not tell me something. Have the decency to stop calling me, or stop seeing me. He continued to see both of us, it seems. That same day that I caught him, he had called me in the afternoon. Link to post Share on other sites
Samantha2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 he called you that afternoon so he can have his cake and eat it too !! Looks like he's lost half the cake now Link to post Share on other sites
Author bestmannsgirl Posted July 17, 2005 Author Share Posted July 17, 2005 Your so right Samantha-now I could sort of rest he's not due back in work till Tuesday. Link to post Share on other sites
Samantha2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Do you have constant contact with him? I'm not sure exactly what work you both do....Will it be difficult for you to just look straight past him with normal expression on your face ... then walk on by casually? Or do the two of you share duties? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bestmannsgirl Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 I run into him sometimes at work, but we don't share the same duties. He's in a different section. Thank God! Link to post Share on other sites
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