Is He Really Trying To Get "Other Woman" Pregnant? WHY???

[VeveCakes]

OP you are delusional.

 

This is not a "love triangle" that he merely can not figure out.

 

He is a very successful lawyer. What happens when you have his child and he fights for full custody?? Then what? What if he won, and took your child and made a life with your child and his gf. Maybe his gf can't get pregnant, maybe he wants to use you to get what HE wants.

 

Think that is crazy? It happens ALL THE TIME. It is no crazier than you wanting to have this mans baby.

 

Change your OP title to something about YOU wanting to get pregnant, because that is the real truth here.

[VeveCakes]

People assume that any man who isn't completely faithful is a terrible person but that not always true. This is a man who was there for me when my mother was sick , gave me my down payment to buy my condo, drove 6 hours to see me, and we have invested in commercial property together. Not sure how that's so horribly irresponsible when he hasn't given me a reason to think otherwise. Also how is a soerm donor any different? Anyway I never said I'm not open to meeting someone else, I am always open to that but for now he's been a great man in my life no reason to end it before I find someone else.

 

Are you looking for a partner or a sugar daddy?

[Cymbeline]

In answer to your original question, is it possible that the possibility that you might become pregnant turns him on? I know whenever I was trying to conceive, or if my husband and I weren't using contraception, sex always had an extra frisson:!it took me a while to realise why. It was unconscious.

 

To successfully make a woman pregnant is proof of a man's masculinity and virility: I'm sure that can feel exciting - taking a risk; being romantic; throwing caution to the wind. He might not be fully aware of this himself.

[cinnamonapples86]

In answer to your original question, is it possible that the possibility that you might become pregnant turns him on? I know whenever I was trying to conceive, or if my husband and I weren't using contraception, sex always had an extra frisson:!it took me a while to realise why. It was unconscious.

 

To successfully make a woman pregnant is proof of a man's masculinity and virility: I'm sure that can feel exciting - taking a risk; being romantic; throwing caution to the wind. He might not be fully aware of this himself.

 

FINALLY!!! Someone who answered the question without try to judge or ridicule me or him, lol. Thanks, this makes a lot of sense. Probably so caught up in the unconscious need to reproduce that he hasn't thought much about the aftermath. I can see that...it has a very masculine element to it, to impregnate another woman.

[cinnamonapples86]

Are you looking for a partner or a sugar daddy?

 

Who says your partner cant also provide you with sugar daddy benefits? Is it not possible to have both?

[elaine567]

You make lots of valid points. This is his girlfriend (ex girlfriend) not his wife so she has no obligation to stay involved with a man who had a child with another woman. Would be different if she was his wife and they had children or something that forces her to except this but she could potentially not want to deal with this either. But yes, I get your points, thanks!

 

I think that is the hope you cling to, but you don't really know how this will pan out.

He may or may not want to marry her, BUT you cannot really believe what HE tells you about his situation, because if he behaves like most "MM", he tells her what she wants to hear and he tells you what you want to hear.

It all tends to work very well until the OW starts to question where she really stands and starts to analyse words vs actions.

 

At the moment you are going lalalalala with your fingers in your ears as regards his other life, which would be great if you were merely using him as a FWB, but you are emotionally invested here and thus you need to be far more aware of what is really going on. Your ego tells you that OF COURSE he will eventually choose you. You are fantastic, you are wonderful so young, so bright, so sexy, so desirable...but that is not how it tends to work in real life. It is the ego of the OW that tends to land her in deep trouble.

 

When the chips are down, he may in fact disown you and this "love child" in order to keep her around, even if that may seem unlikely to you atm.

She appears to be the constant in his life, no matter how much you and your ego may want to believe otherwise.

Be very careful here.

[VeveCakes]

Who says your partner cant also provide you with sugar daddy benefits? Is it not possible to have both?

 

Hes not your partner.

[whichwayisup]

Well, I didn't say that it was only about money. He said that he would be 100% involved both emotionally and physically if there were to be a child. But it has crossed my mind that he could be doing the same thing to her too.

 

Saying those words is so easy, following through on it is another. How can you even trust that he'll be there IF you choose to let him get your pregnant?

 

End it. If you don't, you're going to ruin your life and more than likely be a single parent to his baby.

[LexiCat29]

I say just let him impregnate you and see what happens. Being a single mom with a baby daddy who keeps you a secret is just as easy as you think it is! Piece of cake!

[sandylee1]

I've only read three pages of the thread, but why would you choose a proven cheater to be the father of your child? He can't commit to one woman and yet it seems he's the best you can get. Why?

 

He's not married to his actual GF. No legal ties and no kids. .... so why can't he choose. Why would you bring a child into the world that would haveto be hidden from certain people? Like his GF.

 

 

What morals and values are you expecting him to teach your child? Would he teach themto be honest? Truthful? Not to hurt others? Or just become a master in the art of deception.

 

A child shouldn't be born into a web of lies. It's a terrible burden.

[BaileyB]

FINALLY!!! Someone who answered the question without try to judge or ridicule me or him, lol. Thanks, this makes a lot of sense. Probably so caught up in the unconscious need to reproduce that he hasn't thought much about the aftermath. I can see that...it has a very masculine element to it, to impregnate another woman.

 

With all due respect, the answer was obvious.

 

What is not so obvious to you is what a train wreck this relationship is/will be if you stay with him and do in fact get pregnant.

[BaileyB]

Who says your partner cant also provide you with sugar daddy benefits? Is it not possible to have both?

 

I'm sorry, just needs to be said. You are so immature in how you think about this relationship. You have so much to learn... And it seems that you will be learning the lessons the hard way.

[NTV]

FINALLY!!! Someone who answered the question without try to judge or ridicule me or him, lol. Thanks, this makes a lot of sense. Probably so caught up in the unconscious need to reproduce that he hasn't thought much about the aftermath. I can see that...it has a very masculine element to it, to impregnate another woman.

 

I'm sorry I thought I also gave you an answer and my first response I didn't ridicule you or him or judge.... ?

[ladydesigner]

OP I am not sure you will feel the way you do after the baby is born. New mothers tend to be overly protective (I know I was) and having to send the baby off to be with his SO is going to be upsetting for you. It sounds to me like you have REAL feelings for this man and I don't believe that you can end it at any time. Have you ever ended before or went NC with this man during your relationship?

[sandylee1]

I think the point has been made, but this isn't about you being or becoming a single parent. It's about creating a new life, shrouded in secrecy and the impact on the life of the child and you.

 

Having a baby isn't child's play and you seem to lack the maturity required from most of what you've posted here. A conflict avoidant man isn't going to be great father material either.

 

Him not pulling out, shows just what a game he thinks this is. Is that how you want to have a child? Based on your dad had /has a long term girlfriend, but he didn't pull out and that's how your child is conceived.

 

This isn't a game.