Past coming back to haunt me - anxiety concerns

[vansaddict00]

I've had a history of being in inappropriate encounters with professors who have shaped me into an a very anxious being. These experiences have made me become uncomfortable with older men and after these incidences I've dress very conservatively, barely showing any skin. This was six years ago. Til this day, I'm very cautious and protective of myself.

 

Most people say I look 18 even though I'm in my late 20's - that I don't age.

 

 

I was on my way to work and walking outside an elementary school, this guy that looked like he was in his mid-30's, stopped me. I assumed he wanted directions so I caved in, but then he started insisting that I have sex with him even though I told him I'm in a committed relationship. It really caught me off-guard as I was totally covered, with a hat, sunglasses, long-droopy sweater & jeans. I was fully covered and he stopped me because he liked the shape of my body and asked to see my eyes. He started describing all of these sexual positions that turn him on and wanted to see if I'd want to join in. It was very disturbing how forward he was. In the end I said no thank you and walked away and he drove away with no aggression at all.

 

Now when I go to work I'm a bit worried he may be lurking around as I'm anxious if he will show up again. I have always had anxiety and I feel like no matter what I do to detract attention, I get it unwillingly. It almost makes me feel unsafe in any situation now. I feel like my anxiety was kept down for the longest time until the other day.

 

Would anyone know of some ways I can cope or any anxiety-relieving methods (non-medicine) that can help me recenter?

 

Thanks!

[HorseLuck]

I've had my fair share of odd encounters and anxiety (specifically a fear of being followed by cars), which I'm sure is relatable to many females, so you're not alone. At this point I'm use to being very aware of my surroundings and whatever items are lieing around on the street (not to scare you). Have you ever considered taking a self defense class or sport (such as boxing)? Carrying mace allows me to feel more in control (if any other weapon was legal here i would carry it). As for walking alone and being approached, i always have a pair of headphones in my ears. Even if I'm not listening to anything I've acquired the habit of putting on a b*tch face and pretending not to hear anything. If they happen to stop me and make an odd comment, I iust stare them in the eyes and keep walking. Therapy also helped. If you happen to catch him again, get that license plate number.

Edited December 16, 2016 by HorseLuck

[vansaddict00]

Thanks for your help and suggestions! I feel a lot better now .

I took a self defense class a while back and should carry mace.

The street I walk on is pretty busy- in front of schools and businesses so even in a busy area this happened, so I guess this incident left me a bit blindsided. It can really happen anywhere.

 

It's funny you mention the headphones. I usually wear earphones and I took them off to talk to him as he flagged me down. I was watching Dr. Oz and they had a segment about abduction that walking/jogging down the street you can't hear someone if they follow you or come up out of nowhere behind you. You become a good target for predators. A lot of joggers get abducted and I'm not even running, just walking. But if we do wear them definitely be aware of surroundings. Sometimes I look back or keep the music really low. Coincidentally, one earbud doesn't work so I can at least hear out of the other lol.

 

I wish I could do therapy but I'm on a low budget but just talking about this really helps. Not really sure if I should tell my bf but I haven't yet and kind of don't want to as he may freak out, so venting right now is helping me keep it from being bottled in.

 

License plate is a great idea. He sped off pretty fast and I walked away pretty quickly but every time I see a white car in the shape of his, parked along the sidewalk I get in panic mode because I don't know if he's a potential stalker or if it's just a one time ordeal.

 

The uncomfortable part is I don't know if he just dropped his kid off at school or if he just came from the gym. Hopefully the latter. Eek!

[vansaddict00]

I've had my fair share of odd encounters and anxiety (specifically a fear of being followed by cars), which I'm sure is relatable to many females, so you're not alone. At this point I'm use to being very aware of my surroundings and whatever items are lieing around on the street (not to scare you). Have you ever considered taking a self defense class or sport (such as boxing)? Carrying mace allows me to feel more in control (if any other weapon was legal here i would carry it). As for walking alone and being approached, i always have a pair of headphones in my ears. Even if I'm not listening to anything I've acquired the habit of putting on a b*tch face and pretending not to hear anything. If they happen to stop me and make an odd comment, I iust stare them in the eyes and keep walking. Therapy also helped. If you happen to catch him again, get that license plate number.

 

Thanks for your help and suggestions! I feel a lot better now .

I took a self defense class a while back and should carry mace.

The street I walk on is pretty busy- in front of schools and businesses so even in a busy area this happened, so I guess this incident left me a bit blindsided. It can really happen anywhere.

 

It's funny you mention the headphones. I usually wear earphones and I took them off to talk to him as he flagged me down. I was watching Dr. Oz and they had a segment about abduction that walking/jogging down the street you can't hear someone if they follow you or come up out of nowhere behind you. You become a good target for predators. A lot of joggers get abducted and I'm not even running, just walking. But if we do wear them definitely be aware of surroundings. Sometimes I look back or keep the music really low. Coincidentally, one earbud doesn't work so I can at least hear out of the other lol.

 

I wish I could do therapy but I'm on a low budget but just talking about this really helps. Not really sure if I should tell my bf but I haven't yet and kind of don't want to as he may freak out, so venting right now is helping me keep it from being bottled in.

 

License plate is a great idea. He sped off pretty fast and I walked away pretty quickly but every time I see a white car in the shape of his, parked along the sidewalk I get in panic mode because I don't know if he's a potential stalker or if it's just a one time ordeal.

 

The uncomfortable part is I don't know if he just dropped his kid off at school or if he just came from the gym. Hopefully the latter. Eek!

[NTV]

Do you have a fear of turning guys down?