S7182 Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 (edited) My ex and I broke up a week ago, we were really good together at first and were together two months.. Toward the end he got really busy with sports and I wasn't really feeling like a priority anymore and I kept trying to talk to him about it but he wouldn't really listen and just tell me it's fine. I think he thought that I didn't want him hanging out with other girls, or friends, and wanted us to talk all the time but that wasn't the case at all.. I got upset when he cancelled plans on me for friends, or wouldn't talk to me for hours when I didn't know what was going on... He stopped calling me as much, and he said it was something that happened in every relationship but I wasn't happy. I only wanted him to call me maybe once a week, and just tell me when he wasn't able to talk. But after he had cancelled, and then cut our plans short the weekend before we broke up I was really hurt. A few days later I hadn't talked to him in hours and I was upset and blew up and he got so angry at me. So angry.. He said some really hurtful things and I immediately apologized but he said it was the last straw for him. This was all over text and he wouldn't even call me to let me explain. He said he had told me the same thing over and over and I didn't get it. We broke up and he said he didn't feel the same about me anymore. I'd do anything to get him back, he was my first love.. I tried telling him the real reasons why I was unhappy but it was too late. He said I was an amazing person and girlfriend but this was probably it for good and he didn't think we could ever be more than friends, but after everything I can't believe it.. I plan on NC for the next two months to really work on myself and standing up for myself because I need to get him back. After his sports season is over I want to contact him and try to start fresh... I miss him so much. Does anyone have advice? Or if I actually have a chance? Edited December 17, 2016 by S7182 Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 I'll tell you something which honestly killed and demoralized me greatly when I first heard it and realized... first loves very rarely last. They're the type of relationship/s that you want to last, but realistically you know deep down it's for the better to keep it a reminiscence of the past. Going through the phase of 'No Contact' isn't meant to help benefit you in a way of which you reconcile with someone. It's primarily a phase to let you heal independently and focus forward without them. You need to understand, that it's over and he said that willingly and in a manner-able, nice way. No duration period of time where you go through NC will change that decision of his, only he can change his mind if he would like to try again in the future. But, then again why would you want to try so hard for someone who simply doesn't want to be romantically involved with you anymore? Acceptance is key here. He knows the door is open, and will be seeing as the way you're coming across. So, if he wants to reconcile in future he will, but don't do anything in that time to provoke him... you will just make matters worse. I understand all the cliche stuff: you miss him, he's your first love etc... I empathize as I've recently been in that situation, that mindset. It's harrowing. But if there's anything to salvage, what more would you prefer? salvage some sort of friendship with an ex, or have the false hope and continue an attempt to get him back as a partner, even if he is telling you swiftly it won't happen, which also worst comes to worst he will not approve and not approve a friendship with you from that point onward. Do what's right for your future, not your past. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts