I cant stop throwing up over my ex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Delicaterose00]

Ok guys.. I have been throwing up all morning.... I cant stop thinking of my ex and his new GF together ... having sex, kissing.. touching... oh my god.. someone help me to feel better, I cant stop throwing up and shaking and crying..... I want to die right now... I really really do......

[LucreziaBorgia]

You have a choice: continue to be a willing participant in this misery, or take the steps to working your way out of it. If you want to work your way out of it, pick up the phone and make an appointment with a therapist or counselor. If it is dire and you are thinking of harming yourself physically, make the call to the national suicide hotline instead, and then make an appointment with a therapist:

 

1-800-SUICIDE

1-800-784-2433

 

You can't be on your way to a better emotional state, until you make the effort to make that first step.

 

Step away from your keyboard, pick up the phone and dial that toll free number. Take that first step out.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by Delicaterose00

I want to die right now... I really really do......

 

I agree with LB ..

If you won't call, get yourself around your family. Your family loves you and can help you sort this out.

[ladybird]

Sorry to hear how you are feeling.

 

Don't know how long you have been apart or the circumstances but my ex left me suddenly 5 months, and although he denies it, I believe that he left me for someone else.

 

I have had the thoughts you have, thinking of him with someone else and I have cried non-stop over it but I have come to realise that you are just torturing yourself to think of this. you cannot do anything about him being with someone else so don't waste time and energy thinking about something you can do nothing about.

 

The only advice I can give is to know that things will get better with time - I know, I know! that is what everyone says and when things are this bad you can't imagine that you will ever feel better- I wanted to die when my ex left me and could never imagine a future without him but five months later, although I am not completely over him, I no longer feel sick everytime I wake up in the morning and remember what has happened, I no longer want to die and can actually start to imagine maybe finding someone else.

 

easier said than done I know, but try to keep your mind occupied elsewhere. I hope you have plenty of friends to support you, spend time with your family.

 

Come on here anytime you need to when you are feeling really bad..the people on here are great, they know exactly what you are going through so you don't have to feel you are alone. There are alot of us out there going through the same pain as you are but being a bit further down the line, we know that things do and will get better.

 

[Drivetildriven]

My ex actually admitted to me that she was having sex with someone a week after we broke up. I did the same thing you're doing now. It is very easy to let it consume you. I swear thinking about and knowing what they were doing was a pain worse than death. You have to surround yourself with family and friends for a while.

[Delicaterose00]

Im not going to kill myself, I just feel so bad like Im going to die..... WHY!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant get it out of myhead.... I was doing sooooooooo good, and then she texts me out of no where... and Im down worse than I was when he left me............. I have thrown up 6 times already......I dont know what to do.. everything I drink down comes right back up, and the tears.. the tears wont stop falling, Im crying out loud so bad, its not fair he is happy and Im not.. its not fair he kept me around just till he made sure he found someone else... I hate him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God make the pain go away... I cant sleep anymore, I wake up at 4 or 5 and have to be up the rest of the morning.. .. its been 2 months since he left me.. but only 1 day since I found out he is wiht that girl he cheated on me wiht... sniff sniff sniff

[Drivetildriven]

Wow, we've got the same story. You're not alone. Go for a run, read the bible. Stay busy.

[Delicaterose00]

Drivin, what are you doing to cope???? I feel like I cant breath, I sound like I just got off of a tredmill......My chest is sooooooooooo tight...... I almost threw up again, but I stopped myself..... i wish I could hurt him, but that wouldnt solve anything, I mean I literally want to beat this ass with a bat and I would feel good.... damn it..... Im tired of crying!!!!!!! I finally did my make up so if I even thought of crying I would try and stop myself so I wouldnt screw it up.. lmao......ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god............... Im in the darkest of holes right now......... I cant even see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.... Im so far from that that I think its impossible to get there.... how do I stop caring about him being with her... how??? I cant eat a god freakin thing and Im starving.... I had a cracker and some sips of water, much more than that and it will come back up..... If I could only fall in love again.....ughhhhhhhhhhhh Im ganna be sick again........my stomach just churns and churns............... I even had to pull over in my car yesterday cause I couldnt breath....

[Drivetildriven]

To cope, I talked to people, especially my mom and close friends. I'm sure they're sick of hearing about it, but I'm not ready to stop yet. I go to church at least twice a week, I pray A LOT. I see a therapist once a week. Coincidentally it's the same one my ex sees. Whether that works in my favor or not, I don't know. Sometimes I hope she gets pregnant and AIDS for what she's put me through. It does help a little to indulge in hating her, but I know that's not right and I won't let myself do that. I can't help still loving her more than anything. I've had to pull over a few times too. I'll be doing fine then something will remind me of her and I'll think about the two of them together whoring themselves out to each other and I'll almost have a panic attack. To fill the void, I've taken up drinking, piano lessons, guitar lessons, golf and working out like a fiend. Nobody wants a weak, unconfident, depressed mess of a person and that's what I had become. Least of all my ex woman. So I've tried to do things that make me the best I can be. Intellectually, spiritually, physically, and mentally. You have to make it all about you right now. Make yourself so attractive in every way that you'll be fighting guys off with a stick. Believe me, I've been there. I was a zombie for a few weeks. Just focus on making yourself better. He'll probably end up getting a VD and regret the hole thing eventually anyway.

[Israfil]

I know exactly what you are going through, as I experienced something similar a few months ago. It got so bad I couldn’t work, and I had to take sick leave for a week, because I just couldn’t stop crying all day. When I would see reminders of him, and him and the OW, I would throw up, just like you. I don’t think I was suicidal, but I didn’t eat for about 2 weeks – I only ate under duress from friends and family. I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t drive, etc, etc. Mornings were bad. Mainly because I woke up.

 

Originally posted by Drivetildriven

To cope, I talked to people, especially my mom and close friends. I'm sure they're sick of hearing about it, but I'm not ready to stop yet. Nobody wants a weak, unconfident, depressed mess of a person and that's what I had become. So I've tried to do things that make me the best I can be. Intellectually, spiritually, physically, and mentally. You have to make it all about you right now.

 

This is great advice, but for the long term. In the short term, it is very difficult to get through each day.

 

Originally posted by Delicaterose00

i wish I could hurt him, but that wouldnt solve anything, I mean I literally want to beat this ass with a bat and I would feel good.... damn it..... Im tired of crying!!!!!!! ........ I even had to pull over in my car yesterday cause I couldnt breath....

 

The most important thing to realize is that, in order to ever be healthy again, you must allow your body to go through a series of emotions, in order to purge them from your body, and ultimately reach catharsis.

 

It will probably take you a week or more to even normalize to any degree. Realize this. Understand this. Internalize this. And embrace this. You must allow yourself the opportunity to grieve. It is healthy.

 

Once I had gone through this grieving stage, one of the things I did was to write. I wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote. Part of that was posting on Love Shack. Other parts were writing letters to him (which I did not send) and writing fictional stories of killing him, or killing her, torturing her, etc. All this writing and thinking is also part of a purging process. The great thing about writing is that its only for you. No one has to read it, and it is about your thoughts, and your thought processes. You will gain a great deal of clarity in your own mind by writing down your thoughts and feelings.

 

Another important coping mechanism, once you have had as much emotional searching as you can handle, is to take a mental break from the situation. Watch TV. Listen to music. Cruise the net. Just like a boxer can take only so many blows to the head, your emotional self can only take so many blows to the heart.

 

After a few weeks, once you have gotten most of the negative emotions and pain out of your system, then it is time to concentrate on yourself. Write about you now. Your wants. Your desires. Your goals. And as Drivetildriven has said, try to grow intellectually, spiritually, physically, and mentally.

 

Good luck. Keep posting here. It helps.

[Delicaterose00]

This morning I woke up shaking soooooooooooo bad, I had a dream about him and that made me sick.... I am crying now and ever since I woke up....... I never want him back, but I guess because part of me still loves him and wishes it was how it used to be Im just sick... I keep thinking of him and her... I cant stop.. its like no matter what I do it wont leave I cant consintrate on anything!!!!!! Its not fair he is happy and Im not..... Its unfair he forgets about me most of the time and never thinks of me.........sniff sniff...........Im so tired of feeling sad.......... Im so tired of feeling jelous........... Im so weak today.... its hard to walk........ I just want to be ok again, I want to not care anymore and be like.. s c r e w him! Thanks for all your advice though Ill take anything right now............I just feel like such a failure, like Im not good enough for anyone.... they all cheat on me......... 2 out of 3! They all get to feel better and be in love again except me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sniff sniff sniff

[LucreziaBorgia]

Im not good enough for anyone.... they all cheat on me...

 

That says more about the type of guy you date, than it does you - eventually you'll see that to be true.

 

They all get to feel better and be in love again except me!!!

 

I think, given the guy - you will see that this will actually work better for you. The other girl now has herself a boyfriend who cheats, and you escaped that grim fate.

 

During your recovery, you will want to do some listing. List down everything about these guys that you can remember - good and bad. Look for patterns. What things do these guys who cheated have in common? What types of things did they say, behaviors did they exhibit - what drew you to them? Think about it carefully, and when you are ready to take some steps back out into the dating world you will be able to better know what to avoid (even if you find yourself attracted to them). Its ok to be attracted to the 'wrong type' and the 'bad boy' but eventually you have to reach a point where you treat them like alcohol - something to be enjoyed moderately, not often, and certainly not on a consistent basis. Know that if you indulge every day they become an addiction, and if you go overboard you are left sick. Just like you are now...

 

Name your poison, identify it and avoid it as best you can from here on out.

 

As for today, make a point of going out to do something. Even if it is only one simple thing: go to the mall to look at stuff, go to the library to read magazines or browse the books, go to the grocery store to pick some things up - or even just take a walk. One thing for you, that you forbid yourself from mourning during. Start recovery small.

[snailz]

OMG!!!! we have so much in common..

 

I came to this message board today because of pretty much the same thing you have, i was just going to post a message when i read yours and thought- wow, i think this person has just about said everything i was going to say.

 

My situation is similar, i was with this lad for about a year, looking back now i think he was just stringing me along- sex, a friend, someone to just be there, i dont know, i could be wrong but thats how it feels right now.

 

We split up a month ago, i felt like my heart had been ripped out, i was so upset, even now im still hurting like crazy, i never let him see that but its painful- very painful. Last night i saw him with another girl, i felt like either bursting into tears or going over to him and punching his lights out. luckily my friend stopped me doing both. Now a few minutes later, the girl left and he stayed, IF they are together or not i dont know, maybe they were just friends, maybe he was trying to make me jealous- he's the type, whichever it doesnt matter now because it made me see things differently.

 

For two reasons, the first being, no matter how much he has hurt me in the past, rubbing this in my face makes me think so little of him, i love him yes but i hate him too, and thats not healthy and everytime he hurts me that little bit more- its making me stronger and more determined to move on. The second reason and i dont know if you have been thinking the same, ive always held onto this small hope that we would get back together, if hes with someone else, its confirmed for me that this is unlikely to happen now and therefor in a small way it has given me closure.

 

You see if you get to that point where you know you just cant be with him, then the only thing you can do is move forward, there is no other way around it. Im feeling at my lowest point right now, just the same as you are, but im also trying to gain from what has happened, trying to look at things in brighter light. i have friends around me who listen and give me advice- its good to talk, tell everyone over and over, dont bottle it up inside. Go out and try and have fun, generally do the things you enjoyed doing before you met him, thats what im trying to do anyway.

 

And remember, while you are sitting there crying your eyes out- he's out there without a care to what you are going through, i dont mean it to sound harsh, im trying to make you see that this guy isnt worth all this pain, if he makes you feel like this then he's so not worth it.

[lindya]

The really big obstacle to get past is the one of not actually wanting to get over him (ie because deep down you still think there's a chance you'll get back together). Once you've got that one out of the way, the worst is over.

[Delicaterose00]

Well I changed my cell number yesterday because I dont want anymore calls from his GF or him.... No matter how much I thought of him as the one.. I will never take him back, I could never trust him...... but I cant get the mental picture out of my head of him and her being intimate and her just loving him to pieces and him the same..uuuuhhhhgggg. My stomach is just torn apart, cant eat a thing still!!!!! Im ganna be skinny soon, thats cool, but its not. I woke up crying this morning.. I had a dream about him again.......... I went to a wedding shower today and had to go to the bathroom to cry 2 times!!!!!!! cause its not fair how everyone is engaged and happy and with someone and Im not.. Im left alone again..... I am lost and cant find my way.... its so unfair he is happy....... so unfair he dont care about me.........and so unfair Im sure he doesnt think of me.....I dont know how he wouldnt sometimes... you cant just forget someone after 2 years... plus my stuff from my apartment I had to move out of is still there cause I cant find a place to store it cause Im laid off and dont have money to spend in storage.. trying to find family members.. but anyway he has to see it everyday so I know maybe he thinks about me?? I dont know.. he has a new love...........( puke!!!) I want this pain to go away........ I tell myself everyday he isnt worth it.. but I guess what Im thinking now is .....when I used to tell him.. one day youll grow up and be a real man and be what a girl deserves and blah blah.. I fell like he is doing that with her........ that he is what I new he could be but now with her... and thats one of the reasons we broke up cause he was so immature sometimes I yelled at him all the time, and so if he would just have acted like he prolly is wiht her, we wouldnt even be broken up........... god its not freaking fair dudes!!!!!! I hope I dont wake up shaking AGAIN tomorrow.....say a prayer for me will you guys?? thanks..