FoundMyStrength Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 (edited) And push/pull can be at all stages of the affair. Before the point at which I would have said we were having an emotional affair, my xMM would pull me in with deep, personal discussions for several days (we worked together). (THE PULL) And then he would (I'm only guessing here) feel some guilt or confusion, and then proceed to come into my office to re-establish that he was married by telling me stories about his wife. Or he would act purposely matter-of-fact. I remember one time I went to his office to discuss a work issue, and when we were finished, he very coldly asked, "Are we done now?", and literally walked out, as a way to dismiss me before we talked about anything else. (THE PUSH) And this pattern, of course, made me first feel connected, then feel jealous or abandoned, then feel connected again. Rinse and repeat. It wasn't on purpose, but it had the end effect of manipulating my feelings. Attachment, abandonment, attachment. And, as anyone who has abandonment issues knows, when you're dropped cold and then all of sudden they come back, all you want is their love. Once I noticed that's what I'd gotten myself into, I dropped him cold. I had enough of that bullsh*t with my father, I didn't need to repeat history. Edited December 21, 2016 by FoundMyStrength Link to post Share on other sites
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