S2B Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 When someone involved is harmed - it's not your best option. Especially when an unknowing and unwilling participant is harm - his wife - is involved...it's not cool. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 OK. Let me explain what's going on. I'm tired of being in the A with all the dramas. I don't want to be in a relationship, with him or anyone else either. The best course of action would be to leave him completely and find a sex partner, right? But it's not that simple. I'm too tired to look for someone because I know how hard it is for me to find someone I can actually like, let alone have sex with. So I figure if I just want sex, why not keep seeing him, just as a sex partner? Does it make sense now? And you're right. I don't know what's so special about him either. Probably because I truly like him a lot and it's the easiest option. In a sad, sick and twisted way, I also get where you are coming from and see your point. If your root question is how can you make this sustainable, minimize the damage and keep it from blowing up and causing more harm and heartache there actually is a solution - - bring his wife into it. Bring his wife into it as a consenting participant. Have them open their marriage to include you. Become friends with his wife. Honor and respect her as his primary and rub up against her and learn how to please a woman in bed. You guys can then have 3somes at will and maybe she'll farm him out to you when he's frisky and she's not. Maybe they will even consider some kinds of quasi-swinging arrangments where y'all can add in another man now and then and you all can swap and mix and match. The is the potential you could become kind of a "sister wife" type thing. This would eliminate the 'cheating' aspect and the sneaking around and him keeping you a dirty little secret. This will give you potential for an indefinate long-term arrangment as a cheating affair will always come crashing down when you get caught. Will this be quick and easy and seemless? No. It will take work, open communication, negotiation and compromise by all parties. But if it works, it can be a sustainable, enjoyable, fun and chaos free, long term FWB arrangment. Link to post Share on other sites
Tread Carefully Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 I think there is a way that you can answer for yourself if you can do this or not. Ask yourself what's going to happen when it ends. Because it will. Everything comes to an end at some point. What you need to figure out is, how will you feel when it does? Will you feel pain? Will you feel a huge absence in your life and in your heart? Do you wish that it would never end? If the answer to these is yes, then no you can't be just FWB's. FWB's can move on to another nsa type relationship with someone else without feeling devestated that their current one stopped. Can you do that? Truly, be honest with yourself. No one ever thinks about how things will end because they are so high with the 'right now' moments. Can you really shrug it off and move on when it implodes? I think you won't be able to because if you could you already would've done it. Just something to think about.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ahurtgirl Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 I would suggest not going down the fwb option. You are just degrading yourself even more in his eyes and he will lose respect for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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