Is it over for good

[JackA16]

Hmm that's really interesting, not sure how I would have gone through drinking with my ex's family haha. But wow look at you carrying yourself well! And that is very odd of him, I think he is really going through a complete change and, if he was even somewhat a family guy, that is crazy! Hope he's okay... For his sake and yours.

 

It's okay I really miss my ex too... It's sad... And definitely read the book! You're a great person and no one is a perfect partner, even after all that we do during the break up. But we will be better equipped to work out a great relationship with whoever it is meant to be with!

I'm actually really excited to read the book haha, nerding out!

 

Of course, sometimes you just need reminders when you're down to realize this! So glad you could talk with your ex's brother and realize, you are a great person! You deserve this happiness and the nostalgia of all the good memories

 

Aww that was very nice of him to give you a lift. I think, as you can tell, his family thinks he is being a little out there with all of this. It seems like that to me, and if I were in his family, I think I would have done the same. And yes, you definitely did the right thing. Hell, that just showed a lot, in a lot of ways. Showed how mature you are to the family, shows you know how not to self-destruct with a break up, that you still care for him, and you are a genuine and good person at heart. Major thumbs up! No contact is for you, remember. Having run into your ex's boyfriend is just something that you can't control and you did the best thing in the situation. As long as you are healing, you didn't break no contact.

 

Haha honey, I don't think you are really ready for whatever happens. You sound like you still really want your ex, don't lie to me. I can read it! But it's okay, I'm still really wanting my ex. It's only been two months, we can't expect to really be fully moved on yet. But try not to think that your ex's brother will help in getting your ex back. He will say good things, he will try to persuade your ex, but it's ultimately up to your ex. He has to think all this through and get all this bull stuffs through his head before he can think clearly and get back to you. Just remember, try to keep at least half of your thoughts about you. Half of your day thinking about your ex is okay, and as you move on, and with time, that will go down a lot. Yea, it kills me to be in this limbo. But I have just really cut my ex out of my life, so I have no idea what will be going on his life. It helps me to assume he will not come back and I can just move on.

 

O jeez, I'm sure you have been learning a lot about yourself and this whole healing process after the break up. Just help her out and so she doesn't seem desperate to her ex. Gotta stay strong so we look good even after the break up. Mature and confident even after a break up is attractive. I have no idea why I asked if she was... I was thinking and no matter what type of relationship, the fundamentals are mostly the same. Communication. Hope she can pick herself back up, no more drugs for her for a bit. Let's help her get back on her feet, she has got to be that sexy, less drug or drug-free, mama!

 

Of course we can nurse the 8 week hope, like babycat did in her post. But I think it's false hope and really just try to focus on moving on. I think 2 months after a break up is when they begin to notice the void so give it more time. And even then, he may not come back. So, just guard your heart okay? Don't want you to come back with a heart that is further broken!

 

Aww I want to thank you too! You've been an amazing soul through all of this and helping me understand a break up and myself better. You're an inspiration and I can see that what I do will benefit me in the long run as well. You're an inspiration for how strong you've been through all this, and I can only thank you for being a kind soul on the internet. I think you're getting all the validation that you need to know that you're a wonderful person and your ex is missing out. For real. You're too sweet and I just hope the best for you! That would be awesome for us to thank each other sometime. The next time I get something good happen to me, I'll send you a quick mental thank you and prayer haha!

 

Your appreciative friend,

-WhatDEWWWWW

 

I can't believe how well I could handle it, it was difficult, because there were things his brother would do and say that would take me back to being in his house, for instance we talked about how we used to sit on my exes bed and catch up on a Sunday night before going to sleep, and we talked about how good my ex is with talking to people. I feel as if me being this mature and being able to do this makes me look better, and I don't sound bitter about it at all.

 

He was a family guy when I was around, not sure if he is or was when I wasn't, but we appreciated family time so much and we even had plans that day to go and spend half of each day with both of our families, it is odd.

 

Okay that's good to know - I didn't want to come across as trying to get something back to my ex by saying "have a good time".. that gives me confidence I did the right thing and I'm projecting the right light upon myself. His brother and family really appreciate nice people, and I know me saying that would really make his brother or remind his brother how much of a nice guy I am as we became close over the course of my relationship. You're right in saying he won't be enough to make my ex come back, but at the same time if he is hearing positive things from someone who he is close to, it may just make him think a little.

 

I don't mean I'm ready to see him with someone else, I do really want to be with him again.. but what I mean is I would rather just deal with it now and get it over with, I'm ready to see him do whatever he chooses, as I am moving on but in the back of my mind I'm genuinely unsure if he is coming back or not and his mind games are driving me crazy.

I guess in an ideal world this would happen but then in an ideal world I wouldn't have broken up with my ex in the first place,confusing stuff!!

 

I've directed her straight to no contact despite her being blocked anyway, but these two have to work together and they have been together 4 years.. therefore their situation is a lot harder than mine, but at the same time she really shouldn't have done what she did and I made it clear it was wrong, I'm trying to get her to carry on with the no contact, although I'm pretty sure her ex won't be coming back after speaking to her.

 

I'm trying to guard my heart so much in this situation it's really really hard, I was on a dating app (Tinder) and I stumbled across my exes profile, which was really quite awkward.. but do you think him stumbling across mine will ring any alarm bells??

 

Thank you!

[whatdeww18]

I can't believe how well I could handle it, it was difficult, because there were things his brother would do and say that would take me back to being in his house, for instance we talked about how we used to sit on my exes bed and catch up on a Sunday night before going to sleep, and we talked about how good my ex is with talking to people. I feel as if me being this mature and being able to do this makes me look better, and I don't sound bitter about it at all.

 

He was a family guy when I was around, not sure if he is or was when I wasn't, but we appreciated family time so much and we even had plans that day to go and spend half of each day with both of our families, it is odd.

 

Okay that's good to know - I didn't want to come across as trying to get something back to my ex by saying "have a good time".. that gives me confidence I did the right thing and I'm projecting the right light upon myself. His brother and family really appreciate nice people, and I know me saying that would really make his brother or remind his brother how much of a nice guy I am as we became close over the course of my relationship. You're right in saying he won't be enough to make my ex come back, but at the same time if he is hearing positive things from someone who he is close to, it may just make him think a little.

 

I don't mean I'm ready to see him with someone else, I do really want to be with him again.. but what I mean is I would rather just deal with it now and get it over with, I'm ready to see him do whatever he chooses, as I am moving on but in the back of my mind I'm genuinely unsure if he is coming back or not and his mind games are driving me crazy.

I guess in an ideal world this would happen but then in an ideal world I wouldn't have broken up with my ex in the first place,confusing stuff!!

 

I've directed her straight to no contact despite her being blocked anyway, but these two have to work together and they have been together 4 years.. therefore their situation is a lot harder than mine, but at the same time she really shouldn't have done what she did and I made it clear it was wrong, I'm trying to get her to carry on with the no contact, although I'm pretty sure her ex won't be coming back after speaking to her.

 

I'm trying to guard my heart so much in this situation it's really really hard, I was on a dating app (Tinder) and I stumbled across my exes profile, which was really quite awkward.. but do you think him stumbling across mine will ring any alarm bells??

 

Thank you!

 

O definitely! I can still remember the good times with my ex. But I'm leaving it at that. I smile looking back and just caught up with a friend that was telling me that my break up is no different than the usual communication issues. I think it's nice to hear that from someone totally out of the whole situation and assuring that I didn't royally mess up. We are being the mature ones and even if there are a couple of things you do, it's part of the break up process. What can we do?

 

Wow that is really odd then. I guess he is really not doing well after the break up and lashing out at everyone, including his family. If there was even a remote thing where he was family oriented, not spending Christmas with them is a bit harsh.

 

Yup you definitely did the right thing and as long as you are keeping that confidence about yourself, you are fine! Yea, I mean what family doesn't appreciate genuine and nice people? I'm sure you are! Glad you did well Who knows what will happen? But yea just keep it light and keep yourself going. It's what I'm doing except I'm becoming a little bitter about it all. But let's see what time does to this.

 

Hahah I see what you mean. Yea I feel like I would like to be with my ex but after all this and things said, not too sure. So I'm doing the same thing as you. Kind of just dealing with everything now and see how things unfold in the future. But I do believe I am kind of closing the door myself, weird no? Thought I would have left it open but it seems like I'm drifting away myself from my ex. Maybe that's what I need to do to forgive? Yea this is all really confusing and I think I'm just trying to stop thinking about it so much haha.

 

Okay good good. Definitely steer her in the right direction and help her heal! O man, it sounds like she did something that's a deal breaker.... Guess we can't help that when you don't do the right thing. Hopefully it's not that bad. But then again, time and realizing others make mistakes does go a long way.

 

Hmm it depends on him. Some people will get taken back by it. Others will not care. Just depends. I wouldn't want to see my ex's and I stay away from dating apps for now haha. Do what is comfortable for you and try to stay away from thinking about what your ex will think. If you want him back, just do you.

 

You got it friend

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

[JackA16]

O definitely! I can still remember the good times with my ex. But I'm leaving it at that. I smile looking back and just caught up with a friend that was telling me that my break up is no different than the usual communication issues. I think it's nice to hear that from someone totally out of the whole situation and assuring that I didn't royally mess up. We are being the mature ones and even if there are a couple of things you do, it's part of the break up process. What can we do?

 

Wow that is really odd then. I guess he is really not doing well after the break up and lashing out at everyone, including his family. If there was even a remote thing where he was family oriented, not spending Christmas with them is a bit harsh.

 

Yup you definitely did the right thing and as long as you are keeping that confidence about yourself, you are fine! Yea, I mean what family doesn't appreciate genuine and nice people? I'm sure you are! Glad you did well Who knows what will happen? But yea just keep it light and keep yourself going. It's what I'm doing except I'm becoming a little bitter about it all. But let's see what time does to this.

 

Hahah I see what you mean. Yea I feel like I would like to be with my ex but after all this and things said, not too sure. So I'm doing the same thing as you. Kind of just dealing with everything now and see how things unfold in the future. But I do believe I am kind of closing the door myself, weird no? Thought I would have left it open but it seems like I'm drifting away myself from my ex. Maybe that's what I need to do to forgive? Yea this is all really confusing and I think I'm just trying to stop thinking about it so much haha.

 

Okay good good. Definitely steer her in the right direction and help her heal! O man, it sounds like she did something that's a deal breaker.... Guess we can't help that when you don't do the right thing. Hopefully it's not that bad. But then again, time and realizing others make mistakes does go a long way.

 

Hmm it depends on him. Some people will get taken back by it. Others will not care. Just depends. I wouldn't want to see my ex's and I stay away from dating apps for now haha. Do what is comfortable for you and try to stay away from thinking about what your ex will think. If you want him back, just do you.

 

You got it friend

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

 

I guess you're right, I wish I could stop worrying about what he was thinking about everything. There is a chance he really doesn't care about me anymore, and if I was basing everything on his actions overall he really doesn't, but then there is a chance this is an act and a phase. I was kind of shocked to hear he went to the pub on Christmas Day I really thought he would be at home with his family, that's the norm?

 

I got some dating apps just to distract me for a while and it does make me feel good about myself to have people message me, even if they aren't the people I want - sounds dumb but I guess it's just one of those things that makes me feel good again, as I used to get this when I was looking in my 'prime'.

I text his brother this morning to thank him again for the lift as I felt it was necessary, he really didn't have to do that. He responded really lovely and said the same as what he said to me last night, which was really nice.

 

Our mums went out today again for a shopping trip and a meal, I called my mum as I needed her pick me up something and she was travelling in the car so I was playing out loud, his mum said something to me and we made a joke about how much food they had eaten AGAIN and she was laughing, I can tell she thinks the world of me and it does make it hard if I'm being honest. She wished me a lovely new year and I did the same but my mum said she didn't mention me really on this visit, which I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

I guess the next few hours will see the most important point of the break up - his sling trip away from everything. To me, this is the make or break, I feel like if he was going to realise his true feelings it would be on this holiday away from his friends, less access to social media and just his own mind - and I guess if he comes back and nothing changes that's all that can be done

 

I feel what you're saying about you closing the door on your ex, I feel like that sometimes and I also get bitter. But whenever I hear his name it sparks this feeling in my chest which makes me feel awful, it's the worst pain in the world - and despite not thinking of him too much whenever I do the pain is unreal. I wish I could just advance in time slightly, but tomorrow night is New Year's Eve and will be a great time for my and my friends to celebrate 2016 and renter 2017 together, I will be glad to see the back of this year.

 

Again, sticking to no contact, doing what I'm doing and time will see what happens - the next week is so important and is MY time to reallt concentrate on me and not be thinking about him, he won't be getting up to much, even though it's none of my business.

 

I hope you're okay, it is natural to be bitter, I have those moments too. We all mess up here and there in the relationships and the one thing I have learned is not to blame myself too much, he should've spoken to me and we should've communicated more about problems, and in reality that's what killed the relationship. Stay strong my friend!!

[JackA16]

Hey, it's 1am, I'm in bed and I'm crying my eyes out. For some dumb reason I crumbled and checked his twitter. I saw some pretty hurtful things. It's made me realise he probably isn't ever coming back, he is too busy liking some skanks tweets, the boy from the club back in November.

I just don't know what to do anymore, this isn't getting any easier and I don't know how much more I can take - I'm so stupid for still not being able to accept the fact he probably might not ever come back, and I feel like he will miss me, he will see how much of a catch I am, he might come back.. but I don't think he is and it's killing me.

 

I thought this skiing trip would make him realise everything but I must be so naive, unless I'm overthinking small things but he deleted the one picture I thought he was going to keep on his twitter, and now there's not a single trace of me anywhere. I don't know what to do anymore I'm just so heartbroken .. and I feel so pathetic it's unreal.. I just want out

[whatdeww18]

Hey, it's 1am, I'm in bed and I'm crying my eyes out. For some dumb reason I crumbled and checked his twitter. I saw some pretty hurtful things. It's made me realise he probably isn't ever coming back, he is too busy liking some skanks tweets, the boy from the club back in November.

I just don't know what to do anymore, this isn't getting any easier and I don't know how much more I can take - I'm so stupid for still not being able to accept the fact he probably might not ever come back, and I feel like he will miss me, he will see how much of a catch I am, he might come back.. but I don't think he is and it's killing me.

 

I thought this skiing trip would make him realise everything but I must be so naive, unless I'm overthinking small things but he deleted the one picture I thought he was going to keep on his twitter, and now there's not a single trace of me anywhere. I don't know what to do anymore I'm just so heartbroken .. and I feel so pathetic it's unreal.. I just want out

 

So I was going to write you to stay no contact, but what's done is done.

I'm so sorry. It's okay, we all crack. We all have checked. I think most of us have haha. I really don't want to turn the things that he's done around say that he's coping or trying to get over you. I honestly don't know and that's up to him. It's okay, this is all really hard no matter how you look at it. We thought we were in a happy relationship and got blindsided. How can we not take this badly? Just cry it out. It's okay. There's no reason to hold it back. You stayed strong for a while, so give yourself this time to cry. Sorry it's a little late, wish I saw this earlier.

 

No, to be honest, this ski trip probably wouldn't have done it. You really need to just relax and let time do its thing. Just remember what we talked about and focus on yourself. IF he does come back, it will be in the right way. But we need to be in a place where we envision them not coming back. Just be your happy self. I know you can do it. Really. You know, I'll be on here this forum to be here to support you. It's going to suck but we will learn a lot from this. Doesn't seem like it makes sense now. It sure as hell doesn't to me. But I'm slowly seeing it.

 

I believe in you. It's really okay to cry. Another virtual hug and take it slow okay? I am here to support you, not rush you through your healing process. Just come here to vent to all the readers and me. Don't text him. At least not now, maybe when you can talk to him without getting emotional. BUT NOT NOW! You hear me friend?

 

Just vent and let your feelings out okay? Hang tight and we'll get through this

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

[whatdeww18]

I really don't care what your friends or family have to say about this.

But your ex is an idiot who is missing out on such a kind and wonderful soul. I hope he realizes the stupid things he's doing and can see how awesome you really are.

 

As a vengeful online friend of yours, I really hope that you will be coming out of this a stronger person. As a fellow dumpee, I just want the best for you. And the way I see it, is someone who will treat you like you are made of gold. They'll treat you amazingly and even when he gets in a rut, will express it to you and will only want to make you a happier person and share all that life has to give. The good, the bad, the ugly, the scary, everything.

 

It's hard to get over an ex. We have grown such an attachment with them. And when we click, we really click. Who knows what has gone through our ex's heads... I can't wait for the day when you come back and get to gloat about this HOT, KIND, CARING new guy and get to rub it in or tell me that you got your ex back and everything is so much better and that he appreciates you that much more. Either way, don't cry too much. Get that gallon of ice cream, you can afford it after all the weight you lost if you're anything like me.

 

Be kind to yourself okay?

 

-Your best online friend hahaha

[JackA16]

I really don't care what your friends or family have to say about this.

But your ex is an idiot who is missing out on such a kind and wonderful soul. I hope he realizes the stupid things he's doing and can see how awesome you really are.

 

As a vengeful online friend of yours, I really hope that you will be coming out of this a stronger person. As a fellow dumpee, I just want the best for you. And the way I see it, is someone who will treat you like you are made of gold. They'll treat you amazingly and even when he gets in a rut, will express it to you and will only want to make you a happier person and share all that life has to give. The good, the bad, the ugly, the scary, everything.

 

It's hard to get over an ex. We have grown such an attachment with them. And when we click, we really click. Who knows what has gone through our ex's heads... I can't wait for the day when you come back and get to gloat about this HOT, KIND, CARING new guy and get to rub it in or tell me that you got your ex back and everything is so much better and that he appreciates you that much more. Either way, don't cry too much. Get that gallon of ice cream, you can afford it after all the weight you lost if you're anything like me.

 

Be kind to yourself okay?

 

-Your best online friend hahaha

 

Hi I just got back from work after a 6am start.. thank you for your response, it gave me some positivity which got me through work. Luckily I didn't text my ex, the only thing is I was scrolling back pretty far to about early December, which was before he has said he wants to be civil etc and he favourited a tweet saying "not everybody you lose is a loss" and that has really stuck with me? It's just because things were so great, and I am a loss? How am I not a loss? I might've made mistakes here and there but I never intentionally was a bad boyfriend to him.. and his little friend who he has been seeing has wound me right up because he is favouriting mine and my exes mutual friends tweets!! He doesn't even know them - he lives over an hour away!!!!! That really got on my nerves

 

The hardest thing to accept is that this is what he really wants? A low life who does drugs, smokes, posts the 'C' world all over his twitter, and genuinely looks like they have just left primary school? My friends aren't the kind to lie to me just to allow me to hear what they want by they are also so shocked by who he has gone for and how low he has stooped. I checked this guys twitter out and the dates I was told he was seeing someone work out with the dates he tweeted something about being in the same city as us, so I presume it is true. Hard to believe, but true.

 

I wasn't going to go out tonight (it's NYE) but I have decided I really just need to push myself out the door and go and meet some new people, socialise more and who knows who I might run into?

I certainly can tuck into some ice cream 2 stone lighter than what I was 9 weeks ago, but truth be told I can't really face anything at the minute... if he does decide to get with this horrible creature I like to call my exes new but of stuff, if it's been less than 2 months after the break up is this considered a rebound relationship?? Thanks for everything and your advice. I will be sure to look hot tonight just for you and just incase I meet any new guys, my work colleague said she thinks I am going to find someone good sooner than I think, hopefully this is true!!

 

In my head now I am upset because I'm starting to believe that truly this is the end, he is seeing someone new, making no effort to contact me and avoiding me like the plague, I just wish the mind games would stop you know? I'm sure you know how that feels too.

 

Happy new year, my true online best friend, may this one be the one in which we find a guy worth sobbing over. Big hugs

[whatdeww18]

Hi I just got back from work after a 6am start.. thank you for your response, it gave me some positivity which got me through work. Luckily I didn't text my ex, the only thing is I was scrolling back pretty far to about early December, which was before he has said he wants to be civil etc and he favourited a tweet saying "not everybody you lose is a loss" and that has really stuck with me? It's just because things were so great, and I am a loss? How am I not a loss? I might've made mistakes here and there but I never intentionally was a bad boyfriend to him.. and his little friend who he has been seeing has wound me right up because he is favouriting mine and my exes mutual friends tweets!! He doesn't even know them - he lives over an hour away!!!!! That really got on my nerves

 

The hardest thing to accept is that this is what he really wants? A low life who does drugs, smokes, posts the 'C' world all over his twitter, and genuinely looks like they have just left primary school? My friends aren't the kind to lie to me just to allow me to hear what they want by they are also so shocked by who he has gone for and how low he has stooped. I checked this guys twitter out and the dates I was told he was seeing someone work out with the dates he tweeted something about being in the same city as us, so I presume it is true. Hard to believe, but true.

 

I wasn't going to go out tonight (it's NYE) but I have decided I really just need to push myself out the door and go and meet some new people, socialise more and who knows who I might run into?

I certainly can tuck into some ice cream 2 stone lighter than what I was 9 weeks ago, but truth be told I can't really face anything at the minute... if he does decide to get with this horrible creature I like to call my exes new but of stuff, if it's been less than 2 months after the break up is this considered a rebound relationship?? Thanks for everything and your advice. I will be sure to look hot tonight just for you and just incase I meet any new guys, my work colleague said she thinks I am going to find someone good sooner than I think, hopefully this is true!!

 

In my head now I am upset because I'm starting to believe that truly this is the end, he is seeing someone new, making no effort to contact me and avoiding me like the plague, I just wish the mind games would stop you know? I'm sure you know how that feels too.

 

Happy new year, my true online best friend, may this one be the one in which we find a guy worth sobbing over. Big hugs

 

Aww glad I could help give you some positive vibes before going into work! Jeez you had a long day... Well again, everybody goes through a break up differently and the way things work sometimes, it's what they feel. Well again, like the book says, he has to convince himself that the break up was the right thing to do to relieve himself of the guilt. But no matter what, like we talked about before, just remember that no contact means not looking at anything of your ex's. All it will do is set you back, like it is now. No more looking and no more thinking about it okay? What they do is not your concern and he will eventually realize the amazing person he lost.

 

Well rebounds do look really different than the original ex. Just let him do his thing and let him get it out of his system. Some people just have to do this so they can get over the break up. This might be his way. Let him be with someone not as good as you so he realizes what he has lost.

 

Definitely go out and try not to stay in! Go meet some people and get that fun night in! You deserve it! Hahaha I know what you mean... Go get some ice cream and shovel it in when you feel in a rut again. It's okay! Right, you never know who you might meet. Just do your thing and if it's meant to be, he will come back in the right way. And I don't want to put words in his mouth or yours, but it does seem like a rebound. Not anything like you and a lot worse. Part of the whole drugs, and going out scene thing.

 

Yea I know what you mean... It sucks to think it's the end. Sometimes, we do have to see it that way for things to get better. Just remember not to stoop down or be mopey. Just be your confident self and get out there. It will be a world's difference seeing his rebound and you. Don't get phased by anything he does in front of you and wish them the best. You're better than that.

 

YES! Go out and be all that hot stuff and bring home a boy haha! Do it for me! It might be your ex and then we can get a bottle of wine and cry some happy tears! Wishing you the best new year bestie!

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

[JackA16]

Aww glad I could help give you some positive vibes before going into work! Jeez you had a long day... Well again, everybody goes through a break up differently and the way things work sometimes, it's what they feel. Well again, like the book says, he has to convince himself that the break up was the right thing to do to relieve himself of the guilt. But no matter what, like we talked about before, just remember that no contact means not looking at anything of your ex's. All it will do is set you back, like it is now. No more looking and no more thinking about it okay? What they do is not your concern and he will eventually realize the amazing person he lost.

 

Well rebounds do look really different than the original ex. Just let him do his thing and let him get it out of his system. Some people just have to do this so they can get over the break up. This might be his way. Let him be with someone not as good as you so he realizes what he has lost.

 

Definitely go out and try not to stay in! Go meet some people and get that fun night in! You deserve it! Hahaha I know what you mean... Go get some ice cream and shovel it in when you feel in a rut again. It's okay! Right, you never know who you might meet. Just do your thing and if it's meant to be, he will come back in the right way. And I don't want to put words in his mouth or yours, but it does seem like a rebound. Not anything like you and a lot worse. Part of the whole drugs, and going out scene thing.

 

Yea I know what you mean... It sucks to think it's the end. Sometimes, we do have to see it that way for things to get better. Just remember not to stoop down or be mopey. Just be your confident self and get out there. It will be a world's difference seeing his rebound and you. Don't get phased by anything he does in front of you and wish them the best. You're better than that.

 

YES! Go out and be all that hot stuff and bring home a boy haha! Do it for me! It might be your ex and then we can get a bottle of wine and cry some happy tears! Wishing you the best new year bestie!

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

 

I guess you're right, to discover what he has lost he has to be with something less first, and if this is a way of trying to get over me it really might not work the way he expects it too, but again, that's something completely reliant on time - and I cannot fasten up that process.

I am going to try and be really strong and not check any of his social media, it just sets you back and it's annoying, it's like a burning desire you cannot stop yourself from doing and then as soon as you look you feel 10x worse than you already did.

 

So, a little update of New Year's Eve, well I went into my favourite club and I received a text from a friend called Josh, I have never met him in the flesh but we have one mutual friend (the work colleague I earlier mentioned in my old post) and we finally met after 4 years.. at first it was different, but after a few drinks and a catch up we started to get along really well.

I spent all night with him, got myself a New Year's Eve kiss and everything, introduced him to all my friends and then we stuck with all of his friends for the night and things were really nice.

 

Because I was really wasted, and my friends too it was posted online that we were together and on my Snapchat there was a photo of the two of us with the caption reading 'to a happier new year' - which just made everything seem a bit more serious than just two friends meeting, and therefore I'm pretty sure people are talking about this and asking questions.. anyway the night was great, he revealed to my friends that he really likes me and I did the same - as over the last 4 years we were close and then lost contact but now we had finally met things seemed a lot better.

 

I have woken up this morning and I'm waiting for him to text me, as I told him too and therefore I'm going give him his time because I don't want to seem needy. This boy was always a little problem with my last relationship and my ex always knew deep down there was something underlying with Josh but because we both had boyfriends we thought nothing of it, didn't talk and got on with our lives?

How does this make me look? Do I look bad for posting stuff like this? And am I right for wanting to go on a date with this boy?

I hope you had a lovely New Year's Eve too!!

[whatdeww18]

I guess you're right, to discover what he has lost he has to be with something less first, and if this is a way of trying to get over me it really might not work the way he expects it too, but again, that's something completely reliant on time - and I cannot fasten up that process.

I am going to try and be really strong and not check any of his social media, it just sets you back and it's annoying, it's like a burning desire you cannot stop yourself from doing and then as soon as you look you feel 10x worse than you already did.

 

So, a little update of New Year's Eve, well I went into my favourite club and I received a text from a friend called Josh, I have never met him in the flesh but we have one mutual friend (the work colleague I earlier mentioned in my old post) and we finally met after 4 years.. at first it was different, but after a few drinks and a catch up we started to get along really well.

I spent all night with him, got myself a New Year's Eve kiss and everything, introduced him to all my friends and then we stuck with all of his friends for the night and things were really nice.

 

Because I was really wasted, and my friends too it was posted online that we were together and on my Snapchat there was a photo of the two of us with the caption reading 'to a happier new year' - which just made everything seem a bit more serious than just two friends meeting, and therefore I'm pretty sure people are talking about this and asking questions.. anyway the night was great, he revealed to my friends that he really likes me and I did the same - as over the last 4 years we were close and then lost contact but now we had finally met things seemed a lot better.

 

I have woken up this morning and I'm waiting for him to text me, as I told him too and therefore I'm going give him his time because I don't want to seem needy. This boy was always a little problem with my last relationship and my ex always knew deep down there was something underlying with Josh but because we both had boyfriends we thought nothing of it, didn't talk and got on with our lives?

How does this make me look? Do I look bad for posting stuff like this? And am I right for wanting to go on a date with this boy?

I hope you had a lovely New Year's Eve too!!

 

That's very true, sometimes they just have to see that what's out there isn't all that amazing and being with him will make it all the more apparent. I would imagine there would be more problems than what he had with you. O trust me, I know that burning desire to check on what he's doing on social media. I just shut it out and deleted everything haha. Makes it all that much easier but it really just gave me the space needed to really give me perspective and rearrange my priorities and identify my values.

 

O wow that's so awesome! It's always nice to catch up with old friends and even better you got to see him in person! Aww that's cute and got that new year's kiss in. I wish I had that... Look at you! Already back on the scene but I think it helps and maybe that's what is meant to be. Someone better is waiting in the wings for you Things are looking up and going well! Just make sure you will really invest in this guy, he sounds nice and is making the moves. For example, what would you do if your ex texted you?

 

Yea just let him text you and don't wait by your phone for the message. But try not to think of too many mind games and all that. Just do the normal messaging in a quick manner and doing your things when you're busy! Well that's a little rough when you both had someone out there that could have done something, should have really addressed it when in the relationship...

 

In all honesty, I really don't think you're ready to date this guy. You sound like you're still worrying about what your ex will think in this situation. You're still emotionally attached. I would tell Josh, that honestly, you're still getting out of a long distance relationship and need some time to take this slowly. If he accepts this, GO FOR IT. HE'S A KEEPER! I think. Just do what you think is right and what feels right.

Really excited for you and wishing you all the best with this new relationship!

Thank you! Was definitely relaxing and nice to spend it with friends haha.

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

[JackA16]

That's very true, sometimes they just have to see that what's out there isn't all that amazing and being with him will make it all the more apparent. I would imagine there would be more problems than what he had with you. O trust me, I know that burning desire to check on what he's doing on social media. I just shut it out and deleted everything haha. Makes it all that much easier but it really just gave me the space needed to really give me perspective and rearrange my priorities and identify my values.

 

O wow that's so awesome! It's always nice to catch up with old friends and even better you got to see him in person! Aww that's cute and got that new year's kiss in. I wish I had that... Look at you! Already back on the scene but I think it helps and maybe that's what is meant to be. Someone better is waiting in the wings for you Things are looking up and going well! Just make sure you will really invest in this guy, he sounds nice and is making the moves. For example, what would you do if your ex texted you?

 

Yea just let him text you and don't wait by your phone for the message. But try not to think of too many mind games and all that. Just do the normal messaging in a quick manner and doing your things when you're busy! Well that's a little rough when you both had someone out there that could have done something, should have really addressed it when in the relationship...

 

In all honesty, I really don't think you're ready to date this guy. You sound like you're still worrying about what your ex will think in this situation. You're still emotionally attached. I would tell Josh, that honestly, you're still getting out of a long distance relationship and need some time to take this slowly. If he accepts this, GO FOR IT. HE'S A KEEPER! I think. Just do what you think is right and what feels right.

Really excited for you and wishing you all the best with this new relationship!

Thank you! Was definitely relaxing and nice to spend it with friends haha.

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

 

This is proabably the biggest update so far.. so I woke up on the 1st January, and for the first time in a while I felt good, I was waiting for josh to text me to see whether or not he was still interested or whether he was just meassively wasted, I received the text and we were texting all day. Towards the end of the day his replies got longer even though he was on his phone, so I was worried that maybe we are talking too much and perhaps I should 'treat him mean keep him keen' however at the same time - our mutual friend just thinks that he is probably thinking the exact same thing, and doesn't want to get hurt either.

When josh had spoken to my friends he was telling them such nice things, like how he had 'always had an eye on me' and when we spoke yesterday he said he felt like he had been waiting years for that kiss to happen.

Obviously, I'm petrified of what might happen, I am petrified of being hurt - I just don't want to get attatched to someone all over again.. the idea is so scary and I just can't help buf think of the heartbreak which comes alongside losing someone, however WHAT IF he feels the same and is wondering if I will hurt him?

 

I have invited him to my birthday event in 12 days time, and he has accepted aswell as his best friend who I met on New Year's Eve so they will be coming to my house before to meet my friends and then we will all head towards my favourite club - is this a good sign do you think?

Although I'm seeing him then, I am really keen to see him one on one, keep it casual but just see if we get on as well as we did wasted as we do sober, so I am thinking of inviting him out casually to see if there is anything, even the smallest spark there as I feel this might be the right thing for the pair of us, as although we were both in relationships, neither of us can deny we have always had something there.

 

Now... here's the big news..

 

MY EX TEXT ME. So I was just lead on the sofa, thinking about the night before and feeling so so happy with what had happened - I cannot tell you how happy I was with josh, and boom here comes a text. It read something along the lines of this: 'hi, I'm not looking for an argument, but I know I have come across as a cock the last couple of months but you have to be cruel to be kind sometimes and it's the only way you would get over me. By the looks of it your back out with your mates now having fun and creating new memories, that's all I wanted. Have an amazing year and I wish you the best x'

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?? IS HE GENUINELY BEING KIND OR HAS HE SEEN ME WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND JS HE PANICKING??

Obviously, I didn't respond - nowehere in that text was an apology and if in completely honest, I didn't want to reply anyway, the text didn't upset me, instead it made me really angry that he thinks he can just do that. I really am not interested, the other day I hit rock bottom again when I checked his social media, but after going out and seeing how great I really am and how nice other people do treat me, it's opened my eyes to say the least.

 

What is your take on current events.. thank you!

[whatdeww18]

This is proabably the biggest update so far.. so I woke up on the 1st January, and for the first time in a while I felt good, I was waiting for josh to text me to see whether or not he was still interested or whether he was just meassively wasted, I received the text and we were texting all day. Towards the end of the day his replies got longer even though he was on his phone, so I was worried that maybe we are talking too much and perhaps I should 'treat him mean keep him keen' however at the same time - our mutual friend just thinks that he is probably thinking the exact same thing, and doesn't want to get hurt either.

When josh had spoken to my friends he was telling them such nice things, like how he had 'always had an eye on me' and when we spoke yesterday he said he felt like he had been waiting years for that kiss to happen.

Obviously, I'm petrified of what might happen, I am petrified of being hurt - I just don't want to get attatched to someone all over again.. the idea is so scary and I just can't help buf think of the heartbreak which comes alongside losing someone, however WHAT IF he feels the same and is wondering if I will hurt him?

 

I have invited him to my birthday event in 12 days time, and he has accepted aswell as his best friend who I met on New Year's Eve so they will be coming to my house before to meet my friends and then we will all head towards my favourite club - is this a good sign do you think?

Although I'm seeing him then, I am really keen to see him one on one, keep it casual but just see if we get on as well as we did wasted as we do sober, so I am thinking of inviting him out casually to see if there is anything, even the smallest spark there as I feel this might be the right thing for the pair of us, as although we were both in relationships, neither of us can deny we have always had something there.

 

Now... here's the big news..

 

MY EX TEXT ME. So I was just lead on the sofa, thinking about the night before and feeling so so happy with what had happened - I cannot tell you how happy I was with josh, and boom here comes a text. It read something along the lines of this: 'hi, I'm not looking for an argument, but I know I have come across as a cock the last couple of months but you have to be cruel to be kind sometimes and it's the only way you would get over me. By the looks of it your back out with your mates now having fun and creating new memories, that's all I wanted. Have an amazing year and I wish you the best x'

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?? IS HE GENUINELY BEING KIND OR HAS HE SEEN ME WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND JS HE PANICKING??

Obviously, I didn't respond - nowehere in that text was an apology and if in completely honest, I didn't want to reply anyway, the text didn't upset me, instead it made me really angry that he thinks he can just do that. I really am not interested, the other day I hit rock bottom again when I checked his social media, but after going out and seeing how great I really am and how nice other people do treat me, it's opened my eyes to say the least.

 

What is your take on current events.. thank you!

 

I swear... The stars align for us both in the weirdest ways... I have updates for you too haha! Aww glad you woke up feeling a lot better! The texts came through and went for the whole day! Wow! That's really great and honestly, just text with how you feel. I really hate the idea of mind games and holding back on texting and all that. I just do how I feel and if they dislike it, not worth it. He might be thinking about the same thing, and like I said, no mind games. Definitely go out to the club and try and get a date with him going to see if things click! Why not? Might work out and if not oh well! I do think it's something and just go for it, there's nothing to lose.

 

I know you're still vulnerable which is why I am saying to take it slow. You don't have to take it slow as means of your feelings for him. Just take it slow so you don't get hurt. Ease yourself back into it. There's no rush and if you're both in similar boats then there's no problem with either of you taking it slow.

 

Well, you deserve to be happy as a person for the amazing person you are. There's nothing to feel bad for being happy. Well the ex texted and he finally realized how mean and bad he has been. Also, that's not very nice of him to say that he had to do that for you. It's up to you whether you'd like to respond. You're obviously angry that he texted you that and thinking he can say that. If you are going to respond angrily, don't text him. Only respond if you can wish him well. Only you can move on from your own actions.

 

As for me, I messaged my ex and talked to him. We caught up a lot and just found out how life has been for the past month and half. We got to the point where I told him, I know I was not the best and I didn't do things right but what you'd like to do, we can work on slowly and eventually reconcile down the line. If not, I'd like to know that it's a complete break up where I will move on. It was really interesting and I am confused by it all, but I realized sometimes we have to take matters into our own hands. We didn't get to talk about problems during the relationship and they built up a lot. So I'll let you know how things go.

 

If you're curious, and can respond without being angry, text him. If you won't get upset or sad if he says that you're done and he just wanted to say sorry, I'd say go for it. No getting your hopes up though!

 

Wishing us both the best of luck!

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

[JackA16]

I swear... The stars align for us both in the weirdest ways... I have updates for you too haha! Aww glad you woke up feeling a lot better! The texts came through and went for the whole day! Wow! That's really great and honestly, just text with how you feel. I really hate the idea of mind games and holding back on texting and all that. I just do how I feel and if they dislike it, not worth it. He might be thinking about the same thing, and like I said, no mind games. Definitely go out to the club and try and get a date with him going to see if things click! Why not? Might work out and if not oh well! I do think it's something and just go for it, there's nothing to lose.

 

I know you're still vulnerable which is why I am saying to take it slow. You don't have to take it slow as means of your feelings for him. Just take it slow so you don't get hurt. Ease yourself back into it. There's no rush and if you're both in similar boats then there's no problem with either of you taking it slow.

 

Well, you deserve to be happy as a person for the amazing person you are. There's nothing to feel bad for being happy. Well the ex texted and he finally realized how mean and bad he has been. Also, that's not very nice of him to say that he had to do that for you. It's up to you whether you'd like to respond. You're obviously angry that he texted you that and thinking he can say that. If you are going to respond angrily, don't text him. Only respond if you can wish him well. Only you can move on from your own actions.

 

As for me, I messaged my ex and talked to him. We caught up a lot and just found out how life has been for the past month and half. We got to the point where I told him, I know I was not the best and I didn't do things right but what you'd like to do, we can work on slowly and eventually reconcile down the line. If not, I'd like to know that it's a complete break up where I will move on. It was really interesting and I am confused by it all, but I realized sometimes we have to take matters into our own hands. We didn't get to talk about problems during the relationship and they built up a lot. So I'll let you know how things go.

 

If you're curious, and can respond without being angry, text him. If you won't get upset or sad if he says that you're done and he just wanted to say sorry, I'd say go for it. No getting your hopes up though!

 

Wishing us both the best of luck!

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

 

I asked him on a date on Friday (4 day) and he said yes, so that was really nice. I let him chose where we go to eat, he suggested sushi but that's not my kind of thing so we are going to a burger kitchen instead haha! I'm really excited, he makes me excited and I think about him a lot more than my ex at the moment, which is really nice because it's making me happier.

I'm so unsure whether he is being slightly cool because he is worried about being hurt again after being cheated on but who really knows, only he does really. He uploaded a picture of me on him on Instagram too which was really nice and meant a lot to me, although some random guy commented on it a kiddy face and he replied with one which was just weird because I'm in the picture haha!!

 

I'm honestly not bothered about responding. I have nothing to say. He didn't apologise at all, made no effort to stress the fact he was cruel and was almost like he was saying sorry without saying sorry - and it just doesn't cut with me, I might be mad at him but with no sign of an apology I'm really not interested. He might have tried to push me away, but he didn't have to go to the extent of publicly embarrassing me online and making me look like a fool. I hate him for that.

 

I'm happy you and your ex managed to have a civil conversation. That's great, and I hope with all my heart things work out for you, whatever the outcome - just as long as you don't forget about me!!

You're a great person, and very wise. You recognised problems easily by the looks of it and can reflect in a positive way, which is great and I'm so proud of you for doing that, with me, I'm not sure how I would respond if I was told he was never coming back or if he said he is confused. Therefore I'm leaving it still, just gunna plod on doing what I'm doing.

It's sad, but that's life.

 

Hopefully things go well on Friday, I just want to feel special again, and josh is doing that right now, but I'm going to make it clear on Friday I'm not ready to compete. I've been there and done that, it's not pretty. And I still felt as if I had to compete in my old relationship. Never going there again.

 

Hope things work out for you! All the best

[jamili]

That last text you got from your ex sounds pretty standard. A "closure" text for himself to relieve his guilt, if you will. I think it was smart to ignore it. Give it a LOT more time before expecting some kind of apology/missing/curiosity texts. IMO he'll likely have to date a handful of douchebags and ****shows until he finally appreciates what he lost. It will likely take a long, long time - months, years, etc, IF ever. Don't anticipate the "day he cracks", don't torture yourself. Just move on and cross the bridge if it comes.

[whatdeww18]

I asked him on a date on Friday (4 day) and he said yes, so that was really nice. I let him chose where we go to eat, he suggested sushi but that's not my kind of thing so we are going to a burger kitchen instead haha! I'm really excited, he makes me excited and I think about him a lot more than my ex at the moment, which is really nice because it's making me happier.

I'm so unsure whether he is being slightly cool because he is worried about being hurt again after being cheated on but who really knows, only he does really. He uploaded a picture of me on him on Instagram too which was really nice and meant a lot to me, although some random guy commented on it a kiddy face and he replied with one which was just weird because I'm in the picture haha!!

 

I'm honestly not bothered about responding. I have nothing to say. He didn't apologise at all, made no effort to stress the fact he was cruel and was almost like he was saying sorry without saying sorry - and it just doesn't cut with me, I might be mad at him but with no sign of an apology I'm really not interested. He might have tried to push me away, but he didn't have to go to the extent of publicly embarrassing me online and making me look like a fool. I hate him for that.

 

I'm happy you and your ex managed to have a civil conversation. That's great, and I hope with all my heart things work out for you, whatever the outcome - just as long as you don't forget about me!!

You're a great person, and very wise. You recognised problems easily by the looks of it and can reflect in a positive way, which is great and I'm so proud of you for doing that, with me, I'm not sure how I would respond if I was told he was never coming back or if he said he is confused. Therefore I'm leaving it still, just gunna plod on doing what I'm doing.

It's sad, but that's life.

 

Hopefully things go well on Friday, I just want to feel special again, and josh is doing that right now, but I'm going to make it clear on Friday I'm not ready to compete. I've been there and done that, it's not pretty. And I still felt as if I had to compete in my old relationship. Never going there again.

 

Hope things work out for you! All the best

 

Aww yay glad you got a date set out! That's so awesome and already getting things compromised hehe sounds like things are going well. And woop, that's even better. Just focus on getting to a better place after all this! Well he might be a little guarded now and I would give him space, I've been there...

 

BE STRONG! I was not strong and gave in to talking to my ex. It gave me all the closure I needed but I really got hurt from it all in the end. Like everyone has been saying, just stick to no contact and get over everything! It will be for the best! For people like me, I have to get the absolute worst and learn from it.

 

We had a civil conversation and then I tried to tell him how I had changed and he wouldn't have it and called my attempt controlling... He thinks I held him back from experiencing a lot of things and he seems pretty resentful of that fact. He said a good number of hurtful things that I don't think he understands how hurtful they are so do listen to everyone who says no contact. In spite of his comment about the future and if we're meant to be our paths will cross, I said that I know and wouldn't message him back. I apologized after since it was out of pain and he knows I tend to say things I don't mean when in pain. Left it as thanks for all the good experiences and sorry for realizing things so late. But in the end, he didn't take much blame for the break up and he just wants to experience the things he felt he missed. I think it's partial GIGS, there's something he missed because he was with me for so long. Pretty much just closing that door in my life. He can try to open it later if he wants to, don't know if I'll answer hahaha.

 

Aww so happy that you are really enjoying things with Josh! I'm back on dating apps and wow, didn't realize how many messages I would get. Definitely feeling the confidence after all the pain from yesterday. Just let go, let them experience, and if it's right, they will come back. A part of me still wishes my ex would come back in a year or two, but I'm sure as I find a new love, that will fade hahaha.

 

GOOD LUCK AND ENJOY THE DATE!

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

[JackA16]

Aww yay glad you got a date set out! That's so awesome and already getting things compromised hehe sounds like things are going well. And woop, that's even better. Just focus on getting to a better place after all this! Well he might be a little guarded now and I would give him space, I've been there...

 

BE STRONG! I was not strong and gave in to talking to my ex. It gave me all the closure I needed but I really got hurt from it all in the end. Like everyone has been saying, just stick to no contact and get over everything! It will be for the best! For people like me, I have to get the absolute worst and learn from it.

 

We had a civil conversation and then I tried to tell him how I had changed and he wouldn't have it and called my attempt controlling... He thinks I held him back from experiencing a lot of things and he seems pretty resentful of that fact. He said a good number of hurtful things that I don't think he understands how hurtful they are so do listen to everyone who says no contact. In spite of his comment about the future and if we're meant to be our paths will cross, I said that I know and wouldn't message him back. I apologized after since it was out of pain and he knows I tend to say things I don't mean when in pain. Left it as thanks for all the good experiences and sorry for realizing things so late. But in the end, he didn't take much blame for the break up and he just wants to experience the things he felt he missed. I think it's partial GIGS, there's something he missed because he was with me for so long. Pretty much just closing that door in my life. He can try to open it later if he wants to, don't know if I'll answer hahaha.

 

Aww so happy that you are really enjoying things with Josh! I'm back on dating apps and wow, didn't realize how many messages I would get. Definitely feeling the confidence after all the pain from yesterday. Just let go, let them experience, and if it's right, they will come back. A part of me still wishes my ex would come back in a year or two, but I'm sure as I find a new love, that will fade hahaha.

 

GOOD LUCK AND ENJOY THE DATE!

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

 

I'm going to try and give him as much space as I can. I don't want to suffocate him and want him to know that I would like things down the line to maybe progress into something maybe a bit more serious.

 

My ex is contacting all my friends at the moment, he has been telling them all that he was being "cruel to be kind" etc and he asked one of my friends if they have any plans for January and he knows this is my birthday month.. when she explained she was going out for one of her friends birthday and not mine he asked if she was going to go out for my birthday - WEIRD, and he was offering to try and get her a ticket for it, which is ultimately suggesting he will be going to despite knowing full and well this is my birthday weekend.

On the same day he contacted another one of my friends just for a general chit chat and then got into contact with another one of my friends and told her how he was just trying to be cruel to be kind - why is he doing this??

 

I'm so sorry to hear he had done that, exes are so weird, they say one thing, act another and are just so cruel after a break up. The way I see it, if they can't see how great you are - because you are great.. someone else will.

I'm so lucky to be appreciated by other people already, and it means a lot that I have already found someone who makes me feel somewhat special. Josh said when I was unsure if the club was gunna play good music if I would have a good night and he responded 'it doesn't matter about the music, I'll make sure it's a good night' which was so so lovely

 

I can't tell you how excited I am for Friday and to see how things go, because his sort of hot and cold behaviour has confused me a lot to say the least. He said today because I had to ask him that he didn't find me texting him annoying, and his friend always said that he was quite a bad replier as a person and doesn't use social media an awful lot - so I think I might just be paranoid.. never spoken to someone who replies this slow before, it's confusing.

Anyway, will keep you posted - stay strong I'm sorry you've been treated this way!!

[whatdeww18]

I'm going to try and give him as much space as I can. I don't want to suffocate him and want him to know that I would like things down the line to maybe progress into something maybe a bit more serious.

 

My ex is contacting all my friends at the moment, he has been telling them all that he was being "cruel to be kind" etc and he asked one of my friends if they have any plans for January and he knows this is my birthday month.. when she explained she was going out for one of her friends birthday and not mine he asked if she was going to go out for my birthday - WEIRD, and he was offering to try and get her a ticket for it, which is ultimately suggesting he will be going to despite knowing full and well this is my birthday weekend.

On the same day he contacted another one of my friends just for a general chit chat and then got into contact with another one of my friends and told her how he was just trying to be cruel to be kind - why is he doing this??

 

I'm so sorry to hear he had done that, exes are so weird, they say one thing, act another and are just so cruel after a break up. The way I see it, if they can't see how great you are - because you are great.. someone else will.

I'm so lucky to be appreciated by other people already, and it means a lot that I have already found someone who makes me feel somewhat special. Josh said when I was unsure if the club was gunna play good music if I would have a good night and he responded 'it doesn't matter about the music, I'll make sure it's a good night' which was so so lovely

 

I can't tell you how excited I am for Friday and to see how things go, because his sort of hot and cold behaviour has confused me a lot to say the least. He said today because I had to ask him that he didn't find me texting him annoying, and his friend always said that he was quite a bad replier as a person and doesn't use social media an awful lot - so I think I might just be paranoid.. never spoken to someone who replies this slow before, it's confusing.

Anyway, will keep you posted - stay strong I'm sorry you've been treated this way!!

 

I think you are doing a great thing and really working on making this next relationship even better! That's awesome! Really hoping things work out for the better!

 

I think I know what your ex is meaning and it kind of sounds like the things that my ex said the other day.... But it doesn't excuse why they are mean but sometimes ex's just do weird things. Love is weird... Well he is still interested and asking around your friends to see if he can see his way back in somehow to see you. They say ex's will start contacting mutual friends to see if you are doing okay and might still be interested. Give it more time!

 

No, he was honestly the best partner anyone could ask for. I was the emotionally immature partner that tried to change behaviors or imply that I wasn't happy when he would go out or want to hang out with others. He's always been a people pleaser and I didn't give him back enough until he got burned out. He's got nothing left to give and it is my fault for my immaturity... But he didn't communicate his needs and let things slip away unfortunately. I believe the least I can do is give him his space and let him collect his thoughts. We will see how he feels in many months, and after a hell of a lot of growing on my end.

 

But thank you for those comments! I think I really did show my love in ways but I was just too immature to be ready for him. That's so awesome! He sounds like a keeper! Hahaha it's okay just relax and let things go as he would like. I need to take that advice myself and I'm working on growing.

 

I think if you had a healthy relationship things will work out in the end for you. I'm a bag of regret at the moment....

 

Wishing you an amazing date and aww thank you! It's sad because I feel like I deserve this for the way I treated him...

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

[JackA16]

I think you are doing a great thing and really working on making this next relationship even better! That's awesome! Really hoping things work out for the better!

 

I think I know what your ex is meaning and it kind of sounds like the things that my ex said the other day.... But it doesn't excuse why they are mean but sometimes ex's just do weird things. Love is weird... Well he is still interested and asking around your friends to see if he can see his way back in somehow to see you. They say ex's will start contacting mutual friends to see if you are doing okay and might still be interested. Give it more time!

 

No, he was honestly the best partner anyone could ask for. I was the emotionally immature partner that tried to change behaviors or imply that I wasn't happy when he would go out or want to hang out with others. He's always been a people pleaser and I didn't give him back enough until he got burned out. He's got nothing left to give and it is my fault for my immaturity... But he didn't communicate his needs and let things slip away unfortunately. I believe the least I can do is give him his space and let him collect his thoughts. We will see how he feels in many months, and after a hell of a lot of growing on my end.

 

But thank you for those comments! I think I really did show my love in ways but I was just too immature to be ready for him. That's so awesome! He sounds like a keeper! Hahaha it's okay just relax and let things go as he would like. I need to take that advice myself and I'm working on growing.

 

I think if you had a healthy relationship things will work out in the end for you. I'm a bag of regret at the moment....

 

Wishing you an amazing date and aww thank you! It's sad because I feel like I deserve this for the way I treated him...

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

 

I know what to do this time around to ensure the next relationship I get into works better for everyone, have lower expectations and maybe work harder to make my partner happy, and if they do something stupid ask myself 'is it really worth an argument' before starting one.. small things like this can impact a relationship massively I think.

 

I'm going to give it more time - but if I'm honest I'm just not sure.. I'm not sure he's what I want, I'm not sure if this happened again with him in a years time my friends would truly be there and I'm just not sure if they are his intentions.. it's funny because I'm not sure if I want him but I want him to want me? Which really doesn't make any sense at all. Tomorrow night is date night with josh and I am so excited, and at the moment I'm thinking about new beginnings with new people and he excites me a lot, he is mysterious, he doesn't give much away and for some reason that makes him all the more attractive??

 

The thing is, I used to believe my ex was the best partner anyone could ask for, genuinely thought he gave me everything and to be fair he did a lot for me, I believe, like you, I was also emotionally immature but that was due to lack of experience in relationships. However - there is a line, you're arent the reason the relationship didn't work on a whole, it needs 2 people to work and if we wasn't communicating he wasn't doing to well in it either, the pair of you maybe need to grow before trying again either with eachother or in another relationship. If I learned anything during my last relationship and my advice from you it was how communications are key to a happy a successful relationship.

 

I went through the phase of being a bag of regret but it soon passed once you come to terms with the fact that it wasn't just you who made the relationship fail and start to remember all the times he made you feel bad about yourself - that is of course, if he ever did. It was weird, I was talking to my mum yesterday and I mentioned something about my exes physical appearance and how it had changed for the worse recently and how I couldn't believe it, she said about how he was a nice and genuine guy on the inside.. I was always labelled the better looking one out of the two of us, and I had a flashback to something he used to always do when we were dressed up smart before going out - whenever I would ask him if I looked okay he would never tell me yes, he would just nod or say something like "hmmm yeah" and despite me bringing thing up on many occasions he always did it!! I now feel like it was a jealousy thing and he knew I struggle with confidence and he was probably worried I would go out and bump into someone else - things always add up in the end.

 

Also, one more thing for you, my ex follows josh on Instagram, and he would've seen the picture josh uploaded and I'm sure one of his friends would've reported back to him about me uploading pictures with josh too - and the very next day after josh uploaded a picture of me and him my ex decides to be flirty with the boy he met in the club back in November???? Is this a coincidence?? My friend told me as she found it really strange and it was a really weird conversation the two had been having online for everyone to see and the guy referred to my ex as 'boyfriend conor' which was very odd???? I don't know, let me know what you think. Hope you are feeling slightly better :-)

[whatdeww18]

I know what to do this time around to ensure the next relationship I get into works better for everyone, have lower expectations and maybe work harder to make my partner happy, and if they do something stupid ask myself 'is it really worth an argument' before starting one.. small things like this can impact a relationship massively I think.

 

I'm going to give it more time - but if I'm honest I'm just not sure.. I'm not sure he's what I want, I'm not sure if this happened again with him in a years time my friends would truly be there and I'm just not sure if they are his intentions.. it's funny because I'm not sure if I want him but I want him to want me? Which really doesn't make any sense at all. Tomorrow night is date night with josh and I am so excited, and at the moment I'm thinking about new beginnings with new people and he excites me a lot, he is mysterious, he doesn't give much away and for some reason that makes him all the more attractive??

 

The thing is, I used to believe my ex was the best partner anyone could ask for, genuinely thought he gave me everything and to be fair he did a lot for me, I believe, like you, I was also emotionally immature but that was due to lack of experience in relationships. However - there is a line, you're arent the reason the relationship didn't work on a whole, it needs 2 people to work and if we wasn't communicating he wasn't doing to well in it either, the pair of you maybe need to grow before trying again either with eachother or in another relationship. If I learned anything during my last relationship and my advice from you it was how communications are key to a happy a successful relationship.

 

I went through the phase of being a bag of regret but it soon passed once you come to terms with the fact that it wasn't just you who made the relationship fail and start to remember all the times he made you feel bad about yourself - that is of course, if he ever did. It was weird, I was talking to my mum yesterday and I mentioned something about my exes physical appearance and how it had changed for the worse recently and how I couldn't believe it, she said about how he was a nice and genuine guy on the inside.. I was always labelled the better looking one out of the two of us, and I had a flashback to something he used to always do when we were dressed up smart before going out - whenever I would ask him if I looked okay he would never tell me yes, he would just nod or say something like "hmmm yeah" and despite me bringing thing up on many occasions he always did it!! I now feel like it was a jealousy thing and he knew I struggle with confidence and he was probably worried I would go out and bump into someone else - things always add up in the end.

 

Also, one more thing for you, my ex follows josh on Instagram, and he would've seen the picture josh uploaded and I'm sure one of his friends would've reported back to him about me uploading pictures with josh too - and the very next day after josh uploaded a picture of me and him my ex decides to be flirty with the boy he met in the club back in November???? Is this a coincidence?? My friend told me as she found it really strange and it was a really weird conversation the two had been having online for everyone to see and the guy referred to my ex as 'boyfriend conor' which was very odd???? I don't know, let me know what you think. Hope you are feeling slightly better :-)

 

Oh my goodness! I am so proud of you! You have grown so much while I am still trying to grow... I know you can do it and I really do wish you so much happiness in this new possible relationship with Josh! But I really do agree, sometimes, expectations and the small things can add up. You're already doing so well

 

I think that is the best option to just give it more time and let things happen as they come! Hmm well let's see what plays out and who knows what the future holds. But yea it's not fair for your friends or mine to continuously have to hear the same things and shoulder our problems with love. We gotta figure this out and let's hope that things will go the way that it's supposed to play out! Hahaha well it is the curious part of a new relationship, so maybe it is fun? It might just be an infatuation or it might be a new love that will be able to grow, only you will know!

 

Yea, you're definitely right! I was a bag of regret and still kind of am. He really didn't do all that much wrong in the relationship but I do think he had some expectations and problems that he NEVER once communicated with me. When I say never, I mean he never once said he had a problem with the relationship. And I know exactly what you mean, I think he was perfect in every sense. But now that I look back, communication and expressing problems makes a great partner. I need to learn to take my own advice and that talking things through and learning from all this will help both of us in future relationships. Wow that is really interesting! Well drinking and drugs do decrease anyone's appearance. Hahaha you were the better looking one? Aww that jealousy! Well either way it's really cute if your guy thinks you're good looking in any manner. It might have been? Sometimes jealousy can eat away at a relationship, I was jealous of my ex, and I think it got to the point of eating away...

 

Haha I think you are still wanting to see your ex want you, even if you don't say it. I'm sitting here smiling and laughing hahaha! I don't think it's a coincidence that all this is happening after pictures were uploaded. A lot of people have been talking about the knee jerk reaction when you see your ex moving on. Your ex is probably also trying to make you jealous. He still cares about you, but don't take it as he wants you back. Just from what I've been reading, he still sounds confused with his feelings.

 

Sorry I haven't been replying so much. Been doing a lot of thinking and trying to keep myself busy. Plus, the bag of regret feeling made it hard for me to come here and post haha. But I finally got PM privileges yayayay!

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

[JackA16]

Oh my goodness! I am so proud of you! You have grown so much while I am still trying to grow... I know you can do it and I really do wish you so much happiness in this new possible relationship with Josh! But I really do agree, sometimes, expectations and the small things can add up. You're already doing so well

 

I think that is the best option to just give it more time and let things happen as they come! Hmm well let's see what plays out and who knows what the future holds. But yea it's not fair for your friends or mine to continuously have to hear the same things and shoulder our problems with love. We gotta figure this out and let's hope that things will go the way that it's supposed to play out! Hahaha well it is the curious part of a new relationship, so maybe it is fun? It might just be an infatuation or it might be a new love that will be able to grow, only you will know!

 

Yea, you're definitely right! I was a bag of regret and still kind of am. He really didn't do all that much wrong in the relationship but I do think he had some expectations and problems that he NEVER once communicated with me. When I say never, I mean he never once said he had a problem with the relationship. And I know exactly what you mean, I think he was perfect in every sense. But now that I look back, communication and expressing problems makes a great partner. I need to learn to take my own advice and that talking things through and learning from all this will help both of us in future relationships. Wow that is really interesting! Well drinking and drugs do decrease anyone's appearance. Hahaha you were the better looking one? Aww that jealousy! Well either way it's really cute if your guy thinks you're good looking in any manner. It might have been? Sometimes jealousy can eat away at a relationship, I was jealous of my ex, and I think it got to the point of eating away...

 

Haha I think you are still wanting to see your ex want you, even if you don't say it. I'm sitting here smiling and laughing hahaha! I don't think it's a coincidence that all this is happening after pictures were uploaded. A lot of people have been talking about the knee jerk reaction when you see your ex moving on. Your ex is probably also trying to make you jealous. He still cares about you, but don't take it as he wants you back. Just from what I've been reading, he still sounds confused with his feelings.

 

Sorry I haven't been replying so much. Been doing a lot of thinking and trying to keep myself busy. Plus, the bag of regret feeling made it hard for me to come here and post haha. But I finally got PM privileges yayayay!

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

 

I have definitely grown and I can see myself changing into a different sort of partner, I'm just trying to relax more and not let little things which used to annoy me get to me anymore - when I look back at me in my last relationship, I wouldn't wanna be with me!!

 

It's the morning after the date and I cannot express how well things went. At first it was a little icky, took a while to really get going but we went to my favourite restaurant.. 2 for 1 cocktails!! And then after that we went to another cocktail bar and in total we had over 10 cocktails each so we did get quite giggly.. it was nice because we didn't stay out really late and we didn't get absolutely wasted we were just tipsy, and we laughed at the fact we had organised a meal and somehow we managed to be in a cocktail bar by 8pm getting ourselves really giggly.

We laughed at the same stuff and we just had a really lovely time - he also booked me a ticket for a club on this day in the morning for me and his 2 friends and their boyfriends (almost like a triple date) in 2 weeks time, so that was interesting and he told me how it would be 'so nice' as everyone has brought their partner (meeee!!)

 

I spoke to him a bit afterwards and he told me how he really enjoyed the kiss we shared again, and it's weird because I thought he was a hot and cold kind of guy but actually he just enjoys being chased, I had to lean in first and this is usually what I do - he's keeping me on my toes and I kind of like it..

 

The regret stage will pass when you see or hear of him doing something really dumb and stupid, or when you're just ready.. I don't feel that bad anymore, but I did.

It really angers me that I want him to want me, because I don't feel like I could ever try and salvage what we had, so much has happened and it just wouldn't work anymore, but it is annoying he is trying to make me jealous with all his efforts when really I just want to be left alone - and I found out today for sure he is coming to my birthday event next weekend, GREAT! And I bet that's just so I have to see him, knowing him he will bring that child he is hanging around with too:laugh:

 

Don't apologise, it's fine! And to be honest - I'm doing better now so I'm not quite so needy, but thank you

[whatdeww18]

I have definitely grown and I can see myself changing into a different sort of partner, I'm just trying to relax more and not let little things which used to annoy me get to me anymore - when I look back at me in my last relationship, I wouldn't wanna be with me!!

 

It's the morning after the date and I cannot express how well things went. At first it was a little icky, took a while to really get going but we went to my favourite restaurant.. 2 for 1 cocktails!! And then after that we went to another cocktail bar and in total we had over 10 cocktails each so we did get quite giggly.. it was nice because we didn't stay out really late and we didn't get absolutely wasted we were just tipsy, and we laughed at the fact we had organised a meal and somehow we managed to be in a cocktail bar by 8pm getting ourselves really giggly.

We laughed at the same stuff and we just had a really lovely time - he also booked me a ticket for a club on this day in the morning for me and his 2 friends and their boyfriends (almost like a triple date) in 2 weeks time, so that was interesting and he told me how it would be 'so nice' as everyone has brought their partner (meeee!!)

 

I spoke to him a bit afterwards and he told me how he really enjoyed the kiss we shared again, and it's weird because I thought he was a hot and cold kind of guy but actually he just enjoys being chased, I had to lean in first and this is usually what I do - he's keeping me on my toes and I kind of like it..

 

The regret stage will pass when you see or hear of him doing something really dumb and stupid, or when you're just ready.. I don't feel that bad anymore, but I did.

It really angers me that I want him to want me, because I don't feel like I could ever try and salvage what we had, so much has happened and it just wouldn't work anymore, but it is annoying he is trying to make me jealous with all his efforts when really I just want to be left alone - and I found out today for sure he is coming to my birthday event next weekend, GREAT! And I bet that's just so I have to see him, knowing him he will bring that child he is hanging around with too:laugh:

 

Don't apologise, it's fine! And to be honest - I'm doing better now so I'm not quite so needy, but thank you

 

So proud of your growth! And I know what you mean.... Gotta let the small things go and I don't see how my partner put up with me... But I'm growing and seeing I wasn't the worst partner but not the best. I think what you see a lot is that relationships are never perfect but you learn to be able to be a person who lets these small things go, as long as they're not dealbreakers, and you become a loving partner. As long as you love the person, and you commit, things work sometimes.

 

Aww so happy that things went so well on your date! Sometimes it's just that it takes time to get over the initial awkwardness but things loosened up and things are going really well! Yay! Hahaha jeez you both drank a lot! Glad you had a fun time in any case . He's a keeper o my goodness! Already getting dates going and a triple date at that? You go go go! So happy to hear that you found someone that is making you happy!

 

As long as you are both enjoying your time, that's all that matters! You lean in for them kisses! Sometimes, as time goes on, I'm sure he will too. But remember what we talked about, if you want him to initiate, sometimes you just have to let them know! Sometimes, the chase is fun but it does get old so let him do some chasing too okay?

 

The regret stage is slowly starting to pass. I don't think he's the type to do anything really dumb but the actions he's done after the break up have finally settled in and I'm learning a lot of things . Thank you for constantly bringing me back to reality! Yea, like threads say, sometimes they just mess themselves up and us too much to rekindle. There are a lot of threads about GIGS, and I do think that problems in the relationship lead to people really deciding that there is greener grass, whether it being single or another relationship. They do the things that they think will make them happy in this time. Again, we will never know and we are moving on. Just don't let him and his "child's" presence disrupt your fun on your birthday!

 

I think we are both on the road to growth and recovery! I don't think I'll leave Loveshack for a while, too many people have helped me like you that I would feel bad haha.

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

[JackA16]

So proud of your growth! And I know what you mean.... Gotta let the small things go and I don't see how my partner put up with me... But I'm growing and seeing I wasn't the worst partner but not the best. I think what you see a lot is that relationships are never perfect but you learn to be able to be a person who lets these small things go, as long as they're not dealbreakers, and you become a loving partner. As long as you love the person, and you commit, things work sometimes.

 

Aww so happy that things went so well on your date! Sometimes it's just that it takes time to get over the initial awkwardness but things loosened up and things are going really well! Yay! Hahaha jeez you both drank a lot! Glad you had a fun time in any case . He's a keeper o my goodness! Already getting dates going and a triple date at that? You go go go! So happy to hear that you found someone that is making you happy!

 

As long as you are both enjoying your time, that's all that matters! You lean in for them kisses! Sometimes, as time goes on, I'm sure he will too. But remember what we talked about, if you want him to initiate, sometimes you just have to let them know! Sometimes, the chase is fun but it does get old so let him do some chasing too okay?

 

The regret stage is slowly starting to pass. I don't think he's the type to do anything really dumb but the actions he's done after the break up have finally settled in and I'm learning a lot of things . Thank you for constantly bringing me back to reality! Yea, like threads say, sometimes they just mess themselves up and us too much to rekindle. There are a lot of threads about GIGS, and I do think that problems in the relationship lead to people really deciding that there is greener grass, whether it being single or another relationship. They do the things that they think will make them happy in this time. Again, we will never know and we are moving on. Just don't let him and his "child's" presence disrupt your fun on your birthday!

 

I think we are both on the road to growth and recovery! I don't think I'll leave Loveshack for a while, too many people have helped me like you that I would feel bad haha.

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

 

I think learning is the biggest thing you do in this process alongside feeling down, you learn a lot about you, your friends, your ex, relationships.. everything really. I guess that can become quite beneficial and I know I'll make a good partner to the next guy who comes along.

 

He is a keeper, and he likes being around me and he likes me - I can tell that, but the only thing which gets me really down about him is his replies.. they're so bad and it takes him forever to get back to me, I'm not sure if it's just me he's like it with or if he is bad in general, but I sent him a text whilst I was drunk saying that it was getting to me a little and I'm waiting on a reply, he's really sweet and genuine so I think he will probably explain and maybe try a bit harder to reply quicker - I added that it made me feel like a massive nusense.

Yeah I will definitely say go him that I would enjoy a little bit of a chase too, I'm not a chaser, this is all new to me and I don't know how to go about it which is what I think is stressing me out, I just think if we like eachother surely the chase is a waste of time, but who knows??

 

Thank you for that, the regret stage does go and I'm really happy that I have been able to help you in some ways too, you've been a great help to me.

 

Last night I saw his friends again, and the friend I was going to for advice with back in November apologised for being a bitch and said that her boyfriend wasn't keen on my ex and that he had changed a lot for the worse.. when they went to town together just the two of them in a nightclub he completely left her on her own for instance, which is something he would never have done a few months ago.. his boy mates, and the one who always wants to talk to me when I'm drunk All said that deep down they don't like him and one told me that he knew My ex was going to text me and he wants to be civil etc but I just do not buy it!!!! He isn't the same guy, he's not trying to be civil but I don't know what it is - anyway I added to him that I'm so much happier, and I think it was for the best.

 

Shamefully, a gay guy I know my ex is talking to came up to me and asked me what had happened - I just said we didn't work, my ex is the kind of guy to make you feel special and drop you.. and I know that is most likely going to get back to him - is that a mistake??? I didn't really realise what I was doing, and the gay guy said that my ex is really busy at he minute liking EVERY photo of boys on Instagram he can, and he sees his name everywebere.. he really is as desperate as I thought.. I dunno sorry to keep on hah!

 

Hope you have a great day

[whatdeww18]

I think learning is the biggest thing you do in this process alongside feeling down, you learn a lot about you, your friends, your ex, relationships.. everything really. I guess that can become quite beneficial and I know I'll make a good partner to the next guy who comes along.

 

He is a keeper, and he likes being around me and he likes me - I can tell that, but the only thing which gets me really down about him is his replies.. they're so bad and it takes him forever to get back to me, I'm not sure if it's just me he's like it with or if he is bad in general, but I sent him a text whilst I was drunk saying that it was getting to me a little and I'm waiting on a reply, he's really sweet and genuine so I think he will probably explain and maybe try a bit harder to reply quicker - I added that it made me feel like a massive nusense.

Yeah I will definitely say go him that I would enjoy a little bit of a chase too, I'm not a chaser, this is all new to me and I don't know how to go about it which is what I think is stressing me out, I just think if we like eachother surely the chase is a waste of time, but who knows??

 

Thank you for that, the regret stage does go and I'm really happy that I have been able to help you in some ways too, you've been a great help to me.

 

Last night I saw his friends again, and the friend I was going to for advice with back in November apologised for being a bitch and said that her boyfriend wasn't keen on my ex and that he had changed a lot for the worse.. when they went to town together just the two of them in a nightclub he completely left her on her own for instance, which is something he would never have done a few months ago.. his boy mates, and the one who always wants to talk to me when I'm drunk All said that deep down they don't like him and one told me that he knew My ex was going to text me and he wants to be civil etc but I just do not buy it!!!! He isn't the same guy, he's not trying to be civil but I don't know what it is - anyway I added to him that I'm so much happier, and I think it was for the best.

 

Shamefully, a gay guy I know my ex is talking to came up to me and asked me what had happened - I just said we didn't work, my ex is the kind of guy to make you feel special and drop you.. and I know that is most likely going to get back to him - is that a mistake??? I didn't really realise what I was doing, and the gay guy said that my ex is really busy at he minute liking EVERY photo of boys on Instagram he can, and he sees his name everywebere.. he really is as desperate as I thought.. I dunno sorry to keep on hah!

 

Hope you have a great day

 

That's absolutely true! Learning so much about ourselves and I think, really, just everything about myself. I think it's so nice to hear how well you are healing and I'm slowly getting there. I believe I'm at the stage you were at! Moving on but still getting into daily ruts....

 

Glad to hear he's a keeper! That was so fast to meet someone that is into you and you like him! Hopefully things work out well. Hahahha! I'm like that, I'm pretty connected to my phone so I tend to answer pretty quickly. I'm learning to be less connected and worry about whether someone likes me by the time it takes them to reply. Some people are just really bad at answering and replying. If he knows and he works on it some, even better for you! I think everyone likes a little chase and sometimes, it can be more one sided. Let there be enough from both sides, but like you said, if it's love there's no real thing to gauge who does more and whatnot. Let things play out haha.

 

Always got your online back here buddy! It sucks but really thankful for the help you have given me, thank you so much!

 

Hahaha glad your friend apologized! At least you know why now. He does sound like he was not being a good person and really changed for the worse. But what can you do? It sounds like he is kind of going through the stage of channeling all the frustration into external situations (GIGS) and partying/hooking up/doing drugs. It is a part of him growing up and as a guy, of any kind, should not leave a girl in a club alone... He's got a lot to do and don't let him trying to be civil get to you! If you really are happier then leave it be. It might be for the best.

 

Well if that's how you really feel, it don't matter. He can hear it and what not. But I am a big fan of not bashing on ex's and just leaving things at no contact. It wasn't a mistake and I think he knows he's not being the good person he should be. Trying to act civil is his act of relieving his guilt. Well if he's doing all that, just leave him. O well. Can't be responsible for someone else when you're not together. It might hurt him a little to hear what you said but it does seem to be the truth.

 

Hope you are having a great day!

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

[JackA16]

That's absolutely true! Learning so much about ourselves and I think, really, just everything about myself. I think it's so nice to hear how well you are healing and I'm slowly getting there. I believe I'm at the stage you were at! Moving on but still getting into daily ruts....

 

Glad to hear he's a keeper! That was so fast to meet someone that is into you and you like him! Hopefully things work out well. Hahahha! I'm like that, I'm pretty connected to my phone so I tend to answer pretty quickly. I'm learning to be less connected and worry about whether someone likes me by the time it takes them to reply. Some people are just really bad at answering and replying. If he knows and he works on it some, even better for you! I think everyone likes a little chase and sometimes, it can be more one sided. Let there be enough from both sides, but like you said, if it's love there's no real thing to gauge who does more and whatnot. Let things play out haha.

 

Always got your online back here buddy! It sucks but really thankful for the help you have given me, thank you so much!

 

Hahaha glad your friend apologized! At least you know why now. He does sound like he was not being a good person and really changed for the worse. But what can you do? It sounds like he is kind of going through the stage of channeling all the frustration into external situations (GIGS) and partying/hooking up/doing drugs. It is a part of him growing up and as a guy, of any kind, should not leave a girl in a club alone... He's got a lot to do and don't let him trying to be civil get to you! If you really are happier then leave it be. It might be for the best.

 

Well if that's how you really feel, it don't matter. He can hear it and what not. But I am a big fan of not bashing on ex's and just leaving things at no contact. It wasn't a mistake and I think he knows he's not being the good person he should be. Trying to act civil is his act of relieving his guilt. Well if he's doing all that, just leave him. O well. Can't be responsible for someone else when you're not together. It might hurt him a little to hear what you said but it does seem to be the truth.

 

Hope you are having a great day!

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

 

Daily ruts turn into every other day ruts, and then once a week ruts.. believe me, I used to get into them but now it's usually just one day of the week - usually Sundays, when I'm alone and with the family and just want to watch a film in bed... with someone!!

The biggest thing I have learned in this process is that I'm 100% a relationship person, I dislike being single a lot - I'd rather be with someone and have someone to share things with..

 

Although this seems really psycho, I saw that josh has had the same snapchat since we had first met - 3 years ago, and he only has 13k points.. and I have had it the same time and I have 70k, he doesn't seem to be the kind of person glued to his phone, which is beneficial when I am with him as the one thing I hated about my ex was how much he would be on his phone from time to time.

The only problem is at this stage as it seems as if he isn't keen to text me, when in reality he probably isn't even thinking like that.

 

My colleague who I met him through and has been waving the 'Jack and Josh' flag, was with one of her and Josh's mutual friend, and my name popped up on her phone as I sent her a text, and the mutual friend asked about me and said how I was the one that 'josh always talks about'.. which has made me very happy :-) it was kinda quick, but at the end of the day I knew this guy a long time.

 

What is GIGS again, sorry you keep referring to it and I have lost what it meant again - sorry haha. Yeah I honestly need to stop worrying about him trying to get to me, he retweeted something that my friend told me saying something like 'it will all be okay in the end, if it's not okay it's not the end' - and then something else like 'the past is the past' which is just mixed signs etc so I'm trying not too think too much of that.

 

I really haven't said anything bad about my ex, but this guy wound me up by asking about my relationship when he is in contact with my ex, and he was someone who I had previously dated around 3 years ago.

He was also asking about my relationship with josh but I left that very minimal and brief, none of his business!!

 

Thanks for being there to unload too!! Hope you're feeling not too bad??

[whatdeww18]

Daily ruts turn into every other day ruts, and then once a week ruts.. believe me, I used to get into them but now it's usually just one day of the week - usually Sundays, when I'm alone and with the family and just want to watch a film in bed... with someone!!

The biggest thing I have learned in this process is that I'm 100% a relationship person, I dislike being single a lot - I'd rather be with someone and have someone to share things with..

 

Although this seems really psycho, I saw that josh has had the same snapchat since we had first met - 3 years ago, and he only has 13k points.. and I have had it the same time and I have 70k, he doesn't seem to be the kind of person glued to his phone, which is beneficial when I am with him as the one thing I hated about my ex was how much he would be on his phone from time to time.

The only problem is at this stage as it seems as if he isn't keen to text me, when in reality he probably isn't even thinking like that.

 

My colleague who I met him through and has been waving the 'Jack and Josh' flag, was with one of her and Josh's mutual friend, and my name popped up on her phone as I sent her a text, and the mutual friend asked about me and said how I was the one that 'josh always talks about'.. which has made me very happy :-) it was kinda quick, but at the end of the day I knew this guy a long time.

 

What is GIGS again, sorry you keep referring to it and I have lost what it meant again - sorry haha. Yeah I honestly need to stop worrying about him trying to get to me, he retweeted something that my friend told me saying something like 'it will all be okay in the end, if it's not okay it's not the end' - and then something else like 'the past is the past' which is just mixed signs etc so I'm trying not too think too much of that.

 

I really haven't said anything bad about my ex, but this guy wound me up by asking about my relationship when he is in contact with my ex, and he was someone who I had previously dated around 3 years ago.

He was also asking about my relationship with josh but I left that very minimal and brief, none of his business!!

 

Thanks for being there to unload too!! Hope you're feeling not too bad??

 

Thank the Lord because I do not know if I can keep this going much longer... I need to know that one day I will not be in a rut every morning and have to wait until noon until I can finally get on with my day like a normal person... I agree Sundays, are probably the worst when we all just relax! Hmm that's a very interesting observation. I think it's okay to be a relationship person, I've got friends like that haha. I've had one long term relationship before this one so I'm quite used to being single. It's very different this time around! But I agree, it's so nice to share life events with someone

 

LOL there is nothing psycho these days with social media... Okay I will not even comment on what you just said. No more reading and trying to analyze him and his behaviors, okay? Just let yourself go into this relationship thinking he likes you! Let things go naturally. Nothing wrong if he is terrible with messaging as long as he knows that. One thing I've been working on is that I will never tell anyone in my future about their texting habits unless I don't hear from them within the day haha. As long as he makes you feel good and there is an obvious sign of trust, just know he likes you and isn't very connected to his phone. Done

 

YES! I'm going to wave that Josh and Jack flag too! Heck, I'll wave 5! Go go go and just enjoy! It's nice to hear he always talks about you. Let it keep going and just let things go as they come and communicate like you have about the texting issue. Nothing major. He may also just be taking it slow since you're both coming out of a relationship right?

 

It's the grass is greener syndrome. I'm like half a believer as there are so many complex things about a relationship. Although I do believe there are many patterns to unhappiness and ways to cope with relationship issues that fit into this "syndrome." O man, more of the mixed signal bs? Just let him stick it back up where the sun don't shine and leave it there. It's not worth your time. I've been talking to a lot of my friends and they've made me see that the things my ex said are indeed really harsh and very hurtful. Like I shouldn't feel bad for feeling hurt from the things he said and putting a lot of the blame on me. He has some learning up to do. Your ex does too. We do too but I think we are taking the higher road and doing it right , at least I'd like to hope hahaha.

 

If this guy wound you up that bad, and you said that, it's what you said out of probably a little resentment/anger. It's okay. It happens. It probably will get back to your ex but it doesn't even matter. I think you're healing and it's time to slowly (or quickly in this case because you have Josh to think of now) to move on and just let go for real. And you know it! It's NONE of his business to know haha. You just enjoy you okay?

 

Oh you got it, friend! I'll be here for you I'm doing a lot better. My friends made me see that I wasn't crazy and he did some say really hurtful things that have been on replay in my head for a while. Thanks for checking on me!

 

Hope you're doing much, much, much better! Really wishing you and Josh so much happiness, from the bottom of my heart. You should tell him your online bestie is wishing you two the best too

 

-WhatDEWWWWW