Gut instinct about her male colleague

[crebel81]

This situation:

- Honey, you have an affair with that guy. And I don't belive you. And I don't belive profesional psylogyst ( who can prove it with many articles and meet in real life ). Some guy on cheating forum sayd me you are a slut and I will belive only him.

 

My next article on conference will be about materials from this forum.

So many true proffessors can lought about all what here was sayd by BlueBalls and others.

Thanks for the material for my work.

 

I was only putting my thoughts out there and looking for people's honest opinion. No they do not know me or my fiance but I just wanted to hear about people's experiences and how I should move forward.

 

I'm still not 100% that there is nothing going on. She has tried to reassure me but I know for her it's water under the bridge. I will wait with anticipation to see if she continues this relationship with her ex colleague. I am fairly certain she will. That might tell me all I need to know.

 

Sometimes I think that I might be just looking for a way out and trying to come up with any old excuse.

 

Thanks to all the posters for the honest opinions, some weren't pretty but I know they were just trying to help.

[Space Ritual]

Thanks to all the posters for the honest opinions, some weren't pretty but I know they were just trying to help.

 

We know that sometimes this stuff is hard to hear, believe me, we all do. We sure don't like to give out 2x4's like we have you, but many of us see so much of our situations in yours and knowing ours went terribly wrong, are simply trying to save you from needless heartbreak

 

I can only speak for myself, but the thing that I would guess that bothers others like myself is that you have been dealing with this same issue for now 14 pages without any resolution.

 

I have pretty much exhausted dispensing you any advice, so in lieu of that I just would urge you to take a look at the forum and sub forum for any threads that went anywhere near the number of pages yours has, and see for yourself how if any, have come to a successful conclusion.

 

 

When people keep coming back for long periods, then drop off, only to come back with an update weeks, or months later, usually that update is either the relationship changed for the worse, or they are still suffering.

 

We just don't want that for you.

 

I take no solace whatsoever in seeing somebody being hurt, especially when they have the power to extricate themselves from the situation that is hurting them.

 

I just hope you can live with what ever decision you ultimately make.

[crebel81]

Well folks, it's been about 5 years. I'm now married to the same woman and have added another baby to the family. 

For a back story, please read my first post back in 2016!

What brings me back you may ask? Same guy again. 

 

My wife was at a retirement function for one of her colleagues 3 weeks ago. This was in the same town she works in. She assumed I didn't want to go as I don't really like her work dos, which is a fair point. Something about cops where they are in some kind of click and don't warm to civilians. 

Anyhow, she said she would book a room in the hotel where the function was. A taxi home would have cost 100 dollars whereas the hotel cost 50, apparently. I also offered to collect her and take her home (25 minute drive) but she said it would be too late in the morning. (turns out she went to bed at 1.30am, not that late).

My gut told me to check her phone the other day. Low and behold, she had an outgoing call to the same guy in my previous thread which lasted 5 seconds. This was at 12am. She doesn't know I checked her phone. She hasn't brought this guy up in a few years, albeit I did know he returned to the same work place after a couple of years of being out on disbability. 

Maybe I'm wrong, but it also appears that there were 6 missed calls from this guy before my wife's outgoing call to him. Not familiar with her phone and call logs and had to be quick. In my head, I'm imagining her telling him her room number which would take 5 seconds, less but that's not the point. 

Also there have been no other calls to or from this guy since that night. I'll be honest, when I came home from work the day after her night out, she looked like she was looking into space. As if she was sad about something. 

Our sex life is terrible by the way. It averages once every 4 to 6 weeks with me iniatating all the time. But she iniatiated 6 weeks ago after coming home the day after a bachelorette party. Last time she did that and had that look was 5 years ago! 

Why would he even call her? My wife smokes as does he and the only innocent argument is that he called her to go out to the smoking room or he was working and needed her to open the door to the function room, albeit he is a cop. My head is wrecked again. 

I tried getting into her phone but it makes a sound when the pin is entered and when the phone is locking which is quite annoying. 

Please tell me I'm not mad.