ReaperOfTheGrim Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 This Christmas weekend, my exgirlfriend {whom I've been in limited/no contact with since the break up} made the suggestion that she stop by afew times a day while I'm away to visit and take care of the dog we shared. I'm viewing this as an opportunity to make her jealous and homesick in the hopes that maybe it will make her think I'm moving on just fine {which I'm not} and possibly change her perception of me since I begged/pleaded at the end. During our 5 years together, I kind of "let myself go" in terms of cleanliness and hate to admit that I depended on her to help alot in the housekeeping department, so obviously a spotfree house will be the first goal. But I'm looking for more suggestions on things that I can leave around my house, or little tricks that may trigger a fear of loss or make her second guess her decision to leave. Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 Leave a pair of women's panties laying around and a box of opened condoms near the bed. That should do it. Okay, first off you are in contact so don't imply /NC. Be honest honest with yourself here. You think this has the opportunity to win her back? So you're going to try and show her that you've changed by cleaning up the house now ONLY because she is coming over? You haven't changed and you sound desperate. Not a good place to be in if you want her back. I would not let her come to your house. Politely decline and find a neighbor to do it for you. When you taken time to truly do NC and make changes that have stuck and you are not so desperate, then maybe try reconnecting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ReaperOfTheGrim Posted December 21, 2016 Author Share Posted December 21, 2016 Leave a pair of women's panties laying around and a box of opened condoms near the bed. That should do it. Okay, first off you are in contact so don't imply /NC. Be honest honest with yourself here. You think this has the opportunity to win her back? So you're going to try and show her that you've changed by cleaning up the house now ONLY because she is coming over? You haven't changed and you sound desperate. Not a good place to be in if you want her back. I would not let her come to your house. Politely decline and find a neighbor to do it for you. When you taken time to truly do NC and make changes that have stuck and you are not so desperate, then maybe try reconnecting. lol yes, you speak much truth. "limited contact" in the form that I don't want her to resent me for preventing her to see the dog, and it's just a ****ty thing to do, and I tried speaking through other people to get this done, but it just turned awkward, immature and impossible. I know these games are chicken ****, and I hate every bit of it, but the changes have to do with me than they do with her, I would just like her to see them. I am desperate, I know. I have a fresh wound after being sucker punched with a machete, and it still aches. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 Leave a pair of women's panties laying around and a box of opened condoms near the bed. That should do it. . LOl this is bad but actually I think that might work haha Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 If you want to make an impression, then actually change....simple as that...stop playing games. How will it look if she bites on your clean game and then discovers you merely played her....grow up Clean the house yourself, tell her that it is fine for her to come over and even play with the dog etc. Hold no guilt or game over her. Conduct yourself as though your are fine....fake it til you make it so to speak. Whether or not this brings her back, it will help you move forward.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ReaperOfTheGrim Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 If you want to make an impression, then actually change....simple as that...stop playing games. How will it look if she bites on your clean game and then discovers you merely played her....grow up Clean the house yourself, tell her that it is fine for her to come over and even play with the dog etc. Hold no guilt or game over her. Conduct yourself as though your are fine....fake it til you make it so to speak. Whether or not this brings her back, it will help you move forward.... That's the whole damned point man. The fact is though, most breakups are due to a loss of a attraction, not just the pile of "things that need to change". I'm looking for ideas that may jump start the attraction quota, as most people in my position are so far down the scale. Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Then seriously, go with the panties laying around or box of condoms or both. You have nothing to lose. How else are you suppose to attract her if you aren't at home. That will definitely make her curious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ReaperOfTheGrim Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 Then seriously, go with the panties laying around or box of condoms or both. You have nothing to lose. How else are you suppose to attract her if you aren't at home. That will definitely make her curious. At the moment, I'm thinking something less extravagant. I'm thinking a single yellow and single red rose with a note telling her "enjoy the weekend with bruiser. He has missed you. Love always" I'm hoping she will get homesick, and realize the grass on the single side isn't really greener. But also leaving afew of my sister's tampons under my sink (because she will definitely look) What do you guys think? Too much? Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Some things you haven't mentioned. How long ago did you break up? What was her exact reason for the break up? Had you broken up previously and got back together? Were you needy and begging at the break up and keep it up for while? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ReaperOfTheGrim Posted December 23, 2016 Author Share Posted December 23, 2016 Some things you haven't mentioned. How long ago did you break up? What was her exact reason for the break up? Had you broken up previously and got back together? Were you needy and begging at the break up and keep it up for while? Oh, right. Sorry. We Broke up December 2'nd after 5 years together over what she felt was us becoming too much like roommates and losing the "spark". This is our first time going through this, which almost makes it scarier, and yeah I begged, left flowers, wrote the note and all that, and she said she was going to "try" and we went on a date but she just said she wasn't feeling it. Hard to swallow after 5 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ReaperOfTheGrim Posted January 13, 2017 Author Share Posted January 13, 2017 It's been a little over a month since my ex dumped me, and we've been in limited contact with conversations taking place over text only and primarily pertaining tp the dog we owned together. Last Sunday she asked if I could call her so I did. She told me she was wanting to bring dog food and medicine for our dog, and get the rest of her things that I've had packed up for 3 weeks. The conversation then kind of turned into discussing what we've both been up to lately, and how work life and personal life has been. The vibe was good, and it's clear there are no hard feelings on either of our sides. I guess my question is, when she comes by tomorrow, how should I treat her? Should I be heartfelt and serious? Or fun and funny? Should I flirt with her, or is that conning on too strong and I should just remain friendly? What should I be in the middle of doing when she stops by? Should I be dress well as if I'm about to go out? Or just casual like I'm hanging around the house? This may only be a 15 minute visit, or hopefully longer. I want her back dearly, and I certainly don't want to push her away by showing neediness. She's stopped by afew times in the past to visit our dog, but I left a key for her, and ensured that I wasent home when she did. But since we've had a conversation, I feel our repore is much better than I expected it would be. Do you guys have any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
springy Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Try being authentic. No games, no gimmicks, no ulterior motives. What were her reasons for breaking up with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ReaperOfTheGrim Posted January 14, 2017 Author Share Posted January 14, 2017 Try being authentic. No games, no gimmicks, no ulterior motives. What were her reasons for breaking up with you? No "spark". She didn't feel the same towards me anymore is the way she put it. I think she just wanted to get into the single life since we started dating when she was 20 and she's 25 now and has afew single friends who seem to be enjoying life. And honestly, I don't think authenticity is what I should aim for. If I acted on how I felt, I'd be crying and begging her to come back the entire time lol. Link to post Share on other sites
springy Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 When I said be authentic I wasn't implying that you should vomit emotions all over the place. I mean, there is no need to stage being flirty, or acting like you were in the middle of something, or pretending to dressed up as if you are going out when you're not. I mean get up, get dressed & look decent of course for whatever it is you plan to do with your day, brush your teeth, make sure your place isn't trashed and be you. Open the door, say hello, ask her if she'd like something to drink. Just be courteous, as you would any other guest. Not sure you are strong enough to resist the temptation to bring up the relationship and fall into begging territory - so your plan should be to stop yourself from going there. If you feel it rising up within you, just don't do it. If she just wants to be single and enjoy her time with her friends or whomever I'm not sure that anything you do that day will change her mind anyway, but you don't need to go the extra mile to make that day look like something it isn't. Make plans with your friends or family so that you aren't sitting around thinking too much after she leaves. She may very well pick up her stuff, pet the dog and walk out the door. Make a plan for after the visit is over to keep your mind off things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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