We got mom to the nursing home today

[HokeyReligions]

Mom was stable enough to move to the nursing home today. We went up to the hospital and I got her ready and took off her heart monitor so she would have some dignity and made sure she was covered up, etc. and got her onto the ambulance stretcher and I rode in the ambulance with her. Hubby followed in our car. We got her settled in but she was crying and scared and sooo depressed. The ambulance attendants were wonderful - Dave (who rode in back with mom) spent a long time with us after we got her settled at the home and he said he would add her to his prayer group and told her stories and listened to her when she tried to talk -- he was just great!

 

Her roommate is a dog person too which helps because they have something in common they can talk about and its something happy and fun and uplifting to share cute dog stories.

 

I didn't want to leave her there, but we had to come home. I'll be back up tomorrow and she's only there for the week. Friday the 22nd she is having her heart procedure and hopefully will come home after that. She will be cared for and is not as nervous and anxious as she was at first and she's in her right mind now -- when she went into the hospital she was not coherent and really barely conscious. She is still in considerable pain and has a catheter and can't sit up, but they are going to work with her to get her some strength before the procedure and so that I can care for her at home and be confident that I can leave her alone when I'm interviewing and hopefully soon working.

 

Well, I'm going to heat up supper -- we are living on Top Raman now (sigh) 10 for $1! whoo hoo! I ought to lose weight, although we also splurged and bought 3 day old cinnimon buns 12 for $2. I have to spend $25 on Wednesday to get my new drivers license since it expires next week.

 

I'm rambling -- I do that a lot lately!

[guest]

you are the strongest person i know. god bless you and i will be praying for you and your family.

[quankanne]

I'm glad your mom made the transfer smoothly, though I can imagine how hard it was for all involved to have to act on the decision to go to the nursing home.

 

hoke, you've been in my prayers, just remember that for every negative or unhappy experience you're forced into, somewhere, there's a silver lining. Maybe having a dog-loving roommate will give your mom something to look forward to as she chats with her new acquaintance?

 

the docs feel she's stable enough for a heart procedure??!

[HokeyReligions]

I can't make today's story very short because it wasn't, but I need to vent a little.

 

All the phones were in the kitchen. I have been sleeping in moms room with her dog -- its at the other end of the house and out of earshot from the kitchen. I had moved mom's hard-line phone in there when our power went out Saturday.

 

Hubby didn't sleep much last night. He went to bed at 8pm, got up at 11:30 and finally went back to bed at 5:30AM. The phone rings at 6:20 am. It's mom. She asks John to have me bring up her pills and her pillow. John is upset and says FINE and hangs up. He said he thought maybe she didn't realize it was that early. He's awake again and doesn't go back to bed until 8AM. The phone rings again at 8:20AM Its mom, asking to please bring up her pills. I've mentioned hubby's anger problem. He yells at her "do you have any idea what time it is!" and hangs up. I didn't go to bed until about 3AM myself so I slept in. Hubby didn't want to wake me because he knows I need the sleep. I stumble into the kitchen and find a note about mom's first call. It's 10AM at this time. I had been awake for an hour, just hadn't got up. I call mom.

 

Her roommate answers and gets the phone to mom. She's crying and I can hear her shaking and in pain. Besides heavy duty pain pills, mom is on two anti-depressents and two tranqualizers, plus blood pressure medicine, synthroid (her thyroid was removed in the 70's) and a slew of other drugs that she needs. THEY HAD NOT GIVEN HER ANY OF HER MEDICINES! She said she had not slept a wink and kept buzzing the nurse and begging for her medicine. She pleaded with them to give her an ice pack at least for her back and to help her sit up a little. THEY REFUSED!

 

They never even brought her a blanket last night! She was not able to eat yesterday because the pain was so bad and she didn't have her reglan and the other drug she takes for her stomach. They shoved a diaper under her and refused to bring her a bedside commode. I FLEW to the nursing home with all her meds (hubby went with me because he woke up when I was getting ready---thats when I told him how bad it was and he told me about mom's second phone call and that he yelled at her)

 

I places a call to her doctor, who called while we were there and I am the one who gave her her medicines and I got her sitting in a comfortable position and after a while I got her on the vinyl chair and on a bedpan so she could go -- she had an impacted bowel before and couldn't go lying down and they KNEW this!

 

Everyone was oh so nice, but after we left last night they ignored her, except to lie to her and refuse to help her. Whoo boy, did I lay into that nursing home manager and every nurse that came around. She is there to get stronger so she can undergo the procedure on Friday.

 

Their excuse? They use an outside pharmacy and didn't get the drug orders from the hospital in time and the pharmacy doesn't deliver as often or as late on the weekends. That is absolutly NOT ACCEPTABLE!

 

I told mom I would bring her home or I would call 911 and have her taken to a hospital where she can get some decent care. She began feeling better after I gave her the drugs and I had been there over an hour when they finally waltzed in with SOME of her drugs and they were so proud that they called and had a special delivery made for mom. BFS! After *I* had got mom up and after *I* took care of her and she had a BM I called an orderly in to help me clean her up and I told the orderly to get clean linens and a blanket and after *I* adjusted her oxygen and her catheter and did all of those things for her she felt better and well enough to eat a little. Her doctor called and talked to the manager too and supposedly got everything squared away (the manager said she was upset about her not even having an ice pack & that at least should have been done) we were promised (I didn't believe them) that everything would be taken care of and that her medicines were onsite now; mom decided to try it for one more night because she needs to be strong for the procedure on Friday and her doctor (actually her doctor's sister --- who is also a doctor) has 'privleges' there said that they need her to stay until Friday. So we spent a long time up there and finally when mom was getting really sleepy we left. I called her several times and she said she was doing OK. At 7PM she said she was going to call for more pain medicine. She is suupposed to get Demerol injections to go with the Vicodin and we were told that was all there.

 

About 8PM I get a call from the nurse we talked with yesterday when mom was admitted and she told me that the Demerol was NOT there because the pharmacy wouldn't release it without a form in triplicate from the doctor. I wanted to know why this wasn't taken care of when we were told it had been taken care of 8 hours earlier. She backpeddled on that and I said I'm on my way up there to get her and take care of her and that this was blatent abuse now on top of the neglect.

 

I talked to mom again and they brought her a Vicodin and she said that if the pain didn't abate, she would take her own pills out from where we put them and take another Vicodin herself. She said she was going to stay, but here I am still awake and worried about her and I called a little while ago to make sure she got her medicines and they said she had, but would not confirm that she got her Demerol. They won't allow calls to the rooms this late at night and the doors are locked so they won't let me in.

 

And this is supposed to be a GOOD nursing home/rehab center!! I'll be having my own break down soon. Plus, my baby Katy (my little labradorable girl) has a tumor on her foot on the front at the joint and that needs to be taken care of--its getting huge! She had a smaller tumor removed from the same area last year and I can't afford the $350 surgery now. She's my baby and the love and joy of my life right now and she is worth more than all the gold in the world -- she's my stress relief. Well, they all are, but Katy is a mommy's girl and a real silly wooer and love bug. I'm not going to worry about her now though, I'm just going to love her and let her love for me give me as much peace as I can get right now. As soon as I have money again I'll take her to the vet. She's only 4 1/2 and small for a lab. She is the one who was rescued from the drug dealers 4 years ago and had been abused. She's a very happy and joy-filled dog now, full of love and laughter. She protects us from a lizard invasion and lurks in the windows looking for them. I smile just thinking about her!

[quankanne]

They won't allow calls to the rooms this late at night and the doors are locked so they won't let me in

 

no No NO!!!!! It's one thing to not want to disrupt a patient's sleep and discouraging calls after a certain hour, but to not let you have access to your mom 24 hours a day is flat-out wrong. I know at the Floresville nursing home, where my granny, then my mom, stayed, I could go in after hours to just let them know I made it to town safe and sound. Not sure if it's because it's a better home, or because we just know so many of the staff from having dealt with them for about 8 consecutive years, but we were never treated like your family is being treated.

 

one option is to go on a letter -writing campaign, and send copies to your doctor and to the board that licenses the home. Maybe you'll be accused of being over-sensitive or too demanding, but hell, no one, but NO ONE deserves that kind of treatment at a facility designed to care for people who cannot do so themselves.

 

other option is to get to know some of the aides there and ask them to keep an eye out for your mom and to let you know immediately when there's a problem, etc. When they had to run Mama to the hospital by ambulance, the nursing home was supposed to notify Dad of what they did. Couldn't find him, couldn't find my older sister (who appointed herself Dad's back-up) so they called me across state to let me know what happened. The little girl kept apologizing for "screwing" up because she hadn't found my dad, but I was impressed at what lengths that staff took to make sure someone in the family knew immediately what was going on.

 

Not sure if this second option can help if she's just there a week, but it never hurts to try.