Hopes are so high

[ohleahmarie]

So my ex broke up with me in October and I moved out of our house. As of a week ago, we have seen each other almost every day. We are sleeping together and also just hanging out. Last night we had "the talk," basically saying we are seeing each other again but we don't want to put pressure on it or say we are boyfriend and girlfriend, but that we are seeing where it's going. This was mutual--in fact, it was mostly me saying this and him agreeing that we were on the same page.

 

I'm happy with this. I don't want to get hurt again, obviously, but I honestly thought from the beginning that we would get back together. It feels like where this is leading.

 

Just thought I'd share hopefully this story has a happy ending.

[alexdusty]

I'm very happy for you, and you should be happy too. Well done, you've managed to achieve what 90% of people who come to these forums want to achieve.

 

but you need to be careful.

 

Because it can happen again, not saying it will, but it can.

 

and right now you're flooded with happiness, relief, and a little bit of confusion. but you have to prepare your body your mind and your soul for the next time. because if things go south in 5 months, it will hurt more than ever. TRUST ME. It's happened to me and it hurts more.

 

I'd suggest taking a different approach to round two. talk to each other, maybe this time the relationship doesn't have to be serious and full on. focus on yourself a lot more this time, don't depend on him/her. this time train yourself to find happiness in external activities and people.

 

you know when you read stories on here of people saying "my ex dumped me, i'm lost, i'm depressed, i don't know what to do" and the general reply is something along the lines of "take a new hobby, focus on yourself, work on yourself for YOU not for them?"

 

I want you to do that, so instead of clouding your mind with THEM THEM THEM, cloud your mind with you you you. take up a new hobby, buy new clothes, re invent yourself, but at the same time stay true to the qualities that attracted your ex in the first place. listen to them, but don't "change" if you understand me.

 

good luck!