When Will My Narcissistic Ex Stop?

[alove]

We were together for 8 years. He was emotionally and physically abusive throughout the whole relationship. I left two years ago and have recently gotten married. The abuse got very bad when I left and confided in a friend about the abuse. He found out. Ever since he's been on a war path to ruin me completely. He took my son and has alienated him for over a year now. He's a great actor and has a lot of money so he won in court. Once, I got married it was as if he decided he would just go in for the kill. He can't physically get to me now, but between court and the alienation he has killed my spirits. On top of everything we found out that I have a terminal illness and he remains to still behave in such a manner. When will I get some relief? Will he always win?

[Miss Clavel]

he might "have" your son but he won't be able to keep him. kids grow up.

 

you still have your husband. he can't take that and your husband knows you are telling the truth.

 

i think the best thing to do is ignore him. as much as possible. and use your energy to fight for you health.

 

if something happens to you, god forbid, your son might end up with his biological father. perish the thought but he's going to need to be protected in the future, which means you are going to have to get well or start the process of teaching your son the tools to protect and defend himself.

 

starting with you and your husband seeking and obtaining, "full physical custody" if you don't have it already.

 

first and foremost, focus on getting well and ignoring that dirt bag abusive prick because he doesn't matter. that's what bothers him.

 

remember, he can't get to you. he only has so much power and these pricks usually get bored and move on once they see that no cares. he can only hurt you by hurting your son, and there are steps you can take to remove him from his father's reach if you see any signs that your son is becoming his father's next "target".

 

be vigilant with your documentation, including filing complaints and having his medical and school records on hand. those record will show evidence that you son is losing sleep, losing weight, having nightmares and/or "acting out". and they will go a long way to proving it's his father's presence in his life that's upsetting him, not your health. when he's with you, he's fine. if you catch my drift.

 

keep in mind that no matter what happens to you, your son will, one day, come of age and it will be his decision alone if he wants to share his life with his father, there's not one thing that ahole can do about it.

Edited January 3, 2017 by Miss Clavel

[Mz. Pixie]

This is a very very hard thing to deal with. They all go on a mud slinging campaign. The only thing you can do is protect your son, and don't be in contact with him except for issues pertaining to your son.

 

I know this is hard to understand- they just don't have feelings like normal humans do. The sooner you understand that and deal with it the better off you will be.

[aurelius99]

Did you fight for custody? Usually if the woman fights for it, she wins 92% of the time. So did he throw accusations at you that the judge believed?

[Freebee007]

That's bit odd... how did you not get custody? I've heard and seen that women almost always get custody. Tell us more about that. Curiosity is killing me.