Boy Do I Need Help

[hugznkisses21]

I have never been in this position before and it is very scary. I guess i juts thought life had very few paths and I hate being faced with desicions that could in fact hurt someone in the end.

 

I have been with my first love for 2 years. He is the one I lost my virginity too and my fist long term relationship. He is a wonderful guy, loving caring and we have out moments of trouble and hurt. He does have a temper and attittude and I find myself shedding alot of tears and feeling like a burden to him. I know I dont always come first cause of he family prioritys but this is something I have come to accept. If u had asked me last week if I wanted to marry him tomorrow I would have said YES. Keep in mind im 22.

 

I went away to a work confrence and met a really cool friend. He works for my company but at a different office 6 hours away. He's very cool, funny, smart caring and we can say stupid things all day and get a kick outta eachohter. No to mention he is open and loves to chat (I can not remember a day in my realtionship when my bf enjoyed communicating with me) not to mention he will dance with me (my bf wont cause it may make him look bad) So ofcourse I gravitate to this and feel very confortable and almost as if I have these cool things I dont have currently.

 

Nothing happened with us cause I love my bf and respect him and our relationship. But we got taking and this guy was saying how he feels like we met a reason and that he has always needed someone like my with my personality and stuff in his life and he feels honoured to have met me./ I feel the same way.....he is just amazingly smart, talented, sweet and alot of fun. I dont want to loose contact with him cause he is a cool friend but I really feel so confused about life right now. I find myself evaluating my relationship and life saying stuff to myself like.....do I know what I want my current bf is the only thing I know, do I want to marry him or do I want to see other things, people etc. I dont know what to do. I love my bf with ALL my heart and I would never want to hurt him. He has expeiernce with other loves and stuff and since I have made this friend he has made me realize that maybe I am not expiernceing fully what I want or deserve.

 

We still talk which is cool cause he is a great listener but I cant help but think is there a reason for all of this.

 

And u ask my today if I would marry my bf tomorrow I would say no...i dont think I know what I want yet.

 

Is this bad, am I a bad gf.....i really need help here

 

This Serendipity crap is scary i didnt think it existed...........to me life is simple, concrete u meet a guy u fall in love and thats it.....this dream, soulmate , reason we crossed paths stuff isnt suppose to be true......what is happening

[Outcast]

He does have a temper and attittude and I find myself shedding alot of tears and feeling like a burden to him

.

 

This is not how you should feel in a good relationship.

 

I know I dont always come first cause of he family prioritys but this is something I have come to accept.

 

This doesn't sound good either. I think maybe before you decide to marry anybody you need to think hard. There are a lot of good books about deciding who to marry. There is one called 'Are You the One For Me' and there is even an Idiot's Guide to Relationships. I think it would be smart to read some of them before you make any big decisions.