Ladies, a man needs your expertise in the field of mind games?

[Mumra]

- girl began to act cold so I went NC

- she contacted my mom to have me to call her

- when i called she was once again cold so I went NC again

- she called and broke things off with me but agreed to be friends

- she called me a week later

- i asked her to hang out said she'll let me know

- she never let me know

- I called a couple weeks later and she sent me straight to voicemail never acknowledging my call

- now she's on social media as if life is so good

 

I am not over pursuing or begging or getting on her nerves or any of that desperate stuff.

 

Why is she trying to play me so hard?

[AT15]

Ignore her. She's immature, probably hot, but very immature. Girls love it (and respect it) when you move on with no fuss. Just " ok". Especially if they're hot girls.

 

I always check in on a guy, who doesn't give a eff.

[basil67]

Why did you agree to be friends? Moving on without her would have been far wiser.

[Formerfiveo]

Cut off all means of contact with her.

 

This means NOT calling her when she tells your mom to have you call her (is she 12?).

 

This means blocking her number so that she can't call you.

 

THAT is NC, and it's purpose is to protect you you and allow you to heal.

 

What you're doing isn't NC. Instead, it's playing a game of cat and mouse.

 

Good luck!

[Mumra]

Ignore her. She's immature, probably hot, but very immature. Girls love it (and respect it) when you move on with no fuss. Just " ok". Especially if they're hot girls.

 

I always check in on a guy, who doesn't give a eff.

 

I told her that I respected her decision and she almost snapped at me, but caught herself (she was trying to act super cool as the dumper). She compare me to her previous guys, but I kept calm and cool. I gave absolutely no fuss and tried to actually have some fun through the ordeal.

[HorseLuck]

Meh, it's definitely a game. Guaranteed if you start pursuing someone else, she'll magically pop up. Drop her, waste of time and energy.

[Mumra]

Why did you agree to be friends? Moving on without her would have been far wiser.

 

I know that you should never agree to be friends, but she offered friendship thinking that it would offend or downgrade me. We never made it to gf/bf status so I accepted friendship to f*** with her (we were fwbs anyway). When I accepted friendship, she was shocked. Sometimes you have to play the game for the moment, bc your adversary is looking for you to be angry and frustrated by being dumped. Never allow them to have that satisfaction.

[Mumra]

Cut off all means of contact with her.

 

This means NOT calling her when she tells your mom to have you call her (is she 12?).

 

This means blocking her number so that she can't call you.

 

THAT is NC, and it's purpose is to protect you you and allow you to heal.

 

What you're doing isn't NC. Instead, it's playing a game of cat and mouse.

 

Good luck!

 

Very childish she was dude. Manipulative is an understatement! I must admit that I did fall victim to participating in the game, but sometimes it's so hard not to.

[Mumra]

Meh, it's definitely a game. Guaranteed if you start pursuing someone else, she'll magically pop up. Drop her, waste of time and energy.

 

That's definitely everyone's advice. She's very immature for her age.

[Redhead14]

- girl began to act cold so I went NC

- she contacted my mom to have me to call her

- when i called she was once again cold so I went NC again

- she called and broke things off with me but agreed to be friends

- she called me a week later

- i asked her to hang out said she'll let me know

- she never let me know

- I called a couple weeks later and she sent me straight to voicemail never acknowledging my call

- now she's on social media as if life is so good

 

I am not over pursuing or begging or getting on her nerves or any of that desperate stuff.

 

Why is she trying to play me so hard?

 

Ladies, a man needs your expertise in the field of mind games?

 

First of all, I kinda resent the fact that you are throwing out a "blanket" accusation that "ladies" are experts at mind-games . . .

 

Second of all, you are assuming that she is playing you instead of simply accepting the fact that she's just not interested in you. You prefer to play your own mind game and thinking that she really is interested in you but is somehow holding back or playing hard to get. From what you've said above there isn't one single piece of evidence that supports that scenario.

 

And, if she is playing a mind game, then she is immature and making the rest of us look bad. If a mature, secure woman is really interested in a man, he'll know it. She will not be cold, ask to be friends or be unresponsive.

Edited December 26, 2016 by Redhead14

[Poe77]

Sometimes you have to play the game for the moment, bc your adversary is looking for you to be angry and frustrated by being dumped. Never allow them to have that satisfaction.

 

Actually the mature way to not get played would have been to just say "no thank you I dont think its the best idea I want to move on with my life" then hang up and really go NC but what you did was feed into any drama..but you both sound kinda young? when you say she went "cold" in the start what do you mean? maybe she was just genuinely busy it is the holidays after all I haven't had time to unwind for a good week myself so it happens..ether way at this point things are shot beyond repair it sounds just remove her from your life for good and move on..

[Poe77]

That's definitely everyone's advice. She's very immature for her age.

 

whats that old saying about glass houses?...lol

[elaine567]

Second of all, you are assuming that she is playing you instead of simply accepting the fact that she's just not interested in you. You prefer to play your own mind game and thinking that she really is interested in you but is somehow holding back or playing hard to get. From what you've said above there isn't one single piece of evidence that supports that scenario.

 

^^^^this^^^^

She isn't playing any games, she just isn't interested.

 

YOUR ego is playing the game with you.

She went cold, ie she lost interest, she broke the NC to tell you that she was done, but she could be your friend - "if you wanted".

Standard dumper technique, offer friendship but with no intention of actually being friends. Most people know that, so don't push it, you pushed it and so she has had to ignore you.

YOUR ego now is telling you she is really besotted and she is playing hard to get.

NO, she isn't.

She is done.

Gone.

 

Dust yourself off and find a new girl.

Remember genuinely interested people act interested, they don't go cold or play games with you, as they do not want to lose you.

Relationships should be fun and easy for both.

[lauri]

Dude she just ain't into you. There is nothing more so see or figure out. The only mind games going on are the ones you're playing on yourself.

[fromheart]

Ignore her. She's immature, probably hot, but very immature. Girls love it (and respect it) when you move on with no fuss. Just " ok". Especially if they're hot girls.

 

I always check in on a guy, who doesn't give a eff.

 

 

This sums it up nicely.

[Madame_Noire]

She sounds terribly immature and attention-seeking. Especially when you mentioned that she is on social media... probably Fakebook acting like life is great. First of all, block her otherwise you will just be as bad as her, allowing yourself to be wound up with her stupid games.

 

I am not suprised she has come off with being pregnant to try and keep you around.

[jamili]

I guess the only way to determine if it's a mind game or not is to totally walk away and forget about her. If she comes back someday so be it. If not... then you know it wasn't a game. It might not even be an intentional "game", she might just be conflicted in her decision. Make that decision easy for her and be done with it... you really want to be with someone who is conflicted about whether or not they want to be with you? Sounds pretty miserable imo, your partner should be so into you that leaving you shouldn't even cross her mind.

 

Ignore her. She's immature, probably hot, but very immature. Girls love it (and respect it) when you move on with no fuss. Just " ok". Especially if they're hot girls.

 

I always check in on a guy, who doesn't give a eff.

 

Always "check in" on a guy. Ok. But that still doesn't mean you are interesting in dating him again, does it? If you were interested in being with him, you wouldn't be making such a risky move.

Edited December 26, 2016 by jamili

[Mumra]

Ladies, a man needs your expertise in the field of mind games?

 

First of all, I kinda resent the fact that you are throwing out a "blanket" accusation that "ladies" are experts at mind-games . . .

 

Second of all, you are assuming that she is playing you instead of simply accepting the fact that she's just not interested in you. You prefer to play your own mind game and thinking that she really is interested in you but is somehow holding back or playing hard to get. From what you've said above there isn't one single piece of evidence that supports that scenario.

 

And, if she is playing a mind game, then she is immature and making the rest of us look bad. If a mature, secure woman is really interested in a man, he'll know it. She will not be cold, ask to be friends or be unresponsive.

 

I am not assuming she's playing games at all. She had been short for conversation all calls prior to the bu, but the actual bu call was nearly 2 hours. Though the dumper, she was seemingly snappy on the call, I was trying to keep things from being unnecessarily aggressive.

 

I accepted her bu without a fight or pressuring her to remain with me. I thought that that would be our final phone interaction. I had began to move on. She's the one that called me (probably to get me to call her back to make me look like the pursuer - she's very manipulative) creating a situation as if I'm over pursuing and she has to ignore me.

[Mumra]

Actually the mature way to not get played would have been to just say "no thank you I dont think its the best idea I want to move on with my life" then hang up and really go NC but what you did was feed into any drama..but you both sound kinda young? when you say she went "cold" in the start what do you mean? maybe she was just genuinely busy it is the holidays after all I haven't had time to unwind for a good week myself so it happens..ether way at this point things are shot beyond repair it sounds just remove her from your life for good and move on..

 

You are correct, I made a huge mistake feeding into the drama. Sometimes your instincts inform you that something is wrong, but you go against it and continue on. When I say "went cold" I mean very short on the phone, in short, seeming not to want to be bothered. However, this is the same person that called my mom in order to get me to call her just so she could act cold when I did call. VERY manipulative, but I take the blame bc I didn't have to call. Btw, this was some weeks back, so it was not the holidays as of yet. Definitely beyond repair.

[Mumra]

^^^^this^^^^

She isn't playing any games, she just isn't interested.

 

YOUR ego is playing the game with you.

She went cold, ie she lost interest, she broke the NC to tell you that she was done, but she could be your friend - "if you wanted".

Standard dumper technique, offer friendship but with no intention of actually being friends. Most people know that, so don't push it, you pushed it and so she has had to ignore you.

YOUR ego now is telling you she is really besotted and she is playing hard to get.

NO, she isn't.

She is done.

Gone.

 

Dust yourself off and find a new girl.

Remember genuinely interested people act interested, they don't go cold or play games with you, as they do not want to lose you.

Relationships should be fun and easy for both.

 

I agree with your points if it pertained to a "normal" woman. I am tune with my ego and understand that ego can be your downfall, so I am more prone to accept reality. She went cold after calling my mom to get me to call her bc I was not calling. That's manipulative as she should've called me direct to express losing interest. I would never have called her mom in the first place.

 

She was the dumper, but she had been short on every call since using my mom to get me to call, but the actual bu call was 2 hours long, as if she expected some reaction from me? She was very snappy towards me when I didn't change my stance. She stated that she wanted commitment, I said I wasn't ready, this led to her being snappy. She was dumping me, but I was the one trying to keep things from being unnecessarily aggressive. I totally understood her reasons for bu.

 

I believe that we both said friendship for the sake of keeping the bu call peaceful. I had no intentions of calling her again afterwards. She's the one who made future references to hanging out.

 

So when she called me (after the bu), I figured that she wanted to hang out, whether I was wrong or not. I didn't push anything at all. I called once and was treated as if I called a million times (as you called it - pushing it) and had to be ignored.

[Mumra]

Dude she just ain't into you. There is nothing more so see or figure out. The only mind games going on are the ones you're playing on yourself.

 

Understood, so why would she call after breaking up?

[Mumra]

She sounds terribly immature and attention-seeking. Especially when you mentioned that she is on social media... probably Fakebook acting like life is great. First of all, block her otherwise you will just be as bad as her, allowing yourself to be wound up with her stupid games.

 

I am not suprised she has come off with being pregnant to try and keep you around.

 

I am getting some responses that seem not to see that she is immature. Pregnant or anything else, this whole ordeal has been nothing less of manipulative and kind of crazy.

[Mumra]

I guess the only way to determine if it's a mind game or not is to totally walk away and forget about her. If she comes back someday so be it. If not... then you know it wasn't a game. It might not even be an intentional "game", she might just be conflicted in her decision. Make that decision easy for her and be done with it... you really want to be with someone who is conflicted about whether or not they want to be with you? Sounds pretty miserable imo, your partner should be so into you that leaving you shouldn't even cross her mind.

 

 

 

Always "check in" on a guy. Ok. But that still doesn't mean you are interesting in dating him again, does it? If you were interested in being with him, you wouldn't be making such a risky move.

 

In fact, I understood her reason for bu. She was looking for commitment. I don't even know if it was me not being ready for commitment or me just not seeing that with her. I want to be with someone who's not rushing towards the finish line so quickly in such a short period of time. I find something wrong with that.

 

I just hate all this craziness has to be apart of a decision of hers that I accepted with no problem. I feel that we should all strive for what we want. The drama just makes it more than actually is or even should be.

[Poe77]

I agree with your points if it pertained to a "normal" woman. .

 

 

To quote your opening post and the title of this thread..

 

"Ladies, a man needs your expertise in the field of mind games"

 

 

 

 

 

So im going to call you out on this one as its rather apparent you dont believe there any "normal women" since it seams we are all experts on mind games...? Ok moving on im not really sure how a girl calling a "FRIENDS" mother to see if she can help her understand whats going on when a "FRIEND" suddenly goes silent with no expatiation is immature but ok you will notice I highlighted the word "FRIENDS" mutable times now?

 

That's cause that's what this poor girl sees you as a friend I do believe you took it for more then it ever was....yes I did say you were feeding into drama but im starting to think a lot of this drama was created by you thinking there was more there then friends when I really don't think she ever did but in the same time she didn't want to lose a friend..so its now up to you ya can ether move on and treat her as the friend she wishes to be or if you cant and your infatuation is to strong then just keep NC and let her be but I dont think its really her fault per say and I dont think shes really playing mind games...

Edited December 27, 2016 by Poe77

[IfonlyIknew]

It sounds like she was developing feelings for you when you felt she went cold, she maybe backed off too hard in order to not come off as clingy, then it backfired, she didn't want to lose you so she got in touch with your mom, maybe she felt your distance with the NC was too much to handle so she put up her wall and is actually hurting but knows that the push pull is too much to handle. Just my thoughts.