A toast to (another) year of being alone

[Mrlonelyone]

I have been completely single without a new love interest worth mentioning since 2013*. Sounds sad to many here but lets talk about the upsides of being single.

 

Everyone name three things they don't have to put up with because they are single. These can be negatives about an ex or just negatives about being in a relationship.

 

• Freedom from having to compromise my life for someone else, especially anyone who wants me to do all the compromsing.
  
• The ability to go or not go do or not do where ever and whenever I want. This applies to everything from resturants and vacations to using the bathroom at night without waking anyone up in the process.
  
• Enjoying the company of my family and friends and coworkers without needing to deal with how such time effects anyone else.
  
• BONUS: I get to be ethically selfish. There is no one else to worry about in a familial way, other than blood relatives.
  

 

*There have been a few flashes of romance... I only talk about the crazy and perplexing cases here.

Edited December 26, 2016 by Mrlonelyone

[Mrlonelyone]

Really no one can think of any positives about being single be it completely free or just not married?

[amaysngrace]

I don't have to shave my armpits or legs as much if I'm not in a relationship.

[major_merrick]

I don't have to shave my armpits or legs as much if I'm not in a relationship.

 

Neither of my GF's shaves armpits or legs. It's not an obligation, after all.

 

Back when I was single, there were a few positives, I guess.

 

1. I could leave a giant mess in the kitchen and nobody would scold me. Now that I'm in a relationship, the keeper of the house objects to this kind of behavior.

 

2. I didn't have to "report home" if I wasn't going to get there right on time. My GF's worry that something might happen to me, and GF#1 pretty much wants to know where I'm at 24/7. I call when I leave work, and let them know if I'm stopping off anywhere. It's a caring behavior, but can be a bit much.

 

3. I could pick up, drop, or have casual flings with whoever I wanted, no-strings-attached. It was fun. But what I've got now is very much enjoyable and worth it. Different phases of life have different pleasures.

 

Overall, I much prefer being in a good relationship. But remember - don't rush into commitment. A good relationship is better than being single, but a BAD relationship is much WORSE than being single.

[carhill]

Oh, I've got plenty but this is a relationship site so focused more on interactions and associations versus being alone and free.

 

Some people fit better in relationships than others. IMO, knowing what's healthy for oneself is the true gift, whatever that is.

 

If I were on the relationship path I wouldn't have the freedom to easily move states as I have, spend a whole day installing machinery and electrical, and do my own dental maintenance while navigating the vagaries of the new medical care plan of this state. Instead, I'd be slaving away to make myself attractive for dates, grinding away to put dollars in my pocket to look successful and basically supplicate to the expectations of others. Had enough of that in life. The last seven years have been recovery and growth and, while plenty of interaction and socializing has occurred, it's been a test to see if anything relationship-wise happens naturally or only when supplicating to the whims of society. Nothing has happened so test complete. We're good to go here. Hope your dad is doing OK and best of luck to you.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Cheers!!!!!!

[Raena]

I've been single since 2013 as well... so cheers to both of us!

 

Let's see... what's good about being single:

 

1. I can sit on the computer playing silly facebook games for as long as I want... without feeling the slightest bit guilty about it.

 

2. I can be friends with anyone I want to be friends with without having to worry about how it will effect anyone but me.

 

3. I can sprawl across the bed to sleep... and I do. I love it!

 

Most importantly though...

 

I can be ME without having to worry about it. No more trying to adapt to someone else's needs in any way. I do what I want when I want with whom I want and I don't need to check in with anyone to see if it's ok.

[Mysterio]

For me being single to me means that I have ultimate freedom to do whatever I want within reason.

 

There really is no downside. I guess I don't have physical affection on a regular basis. Thats it. I see a lot of male friends under the thumb of their GF's and they are not digging it. Thats based on the layers of how they think things should be when they talk to me about their romantic lives.

 

There is nothing wrong with being single. Its the longing for a romantic partner thats hard.

 

I see it like this. 20% of us will always have that hardship getting into a relationship. The other 20 % will have it easy. 60% of us will have to keep figure out getting into a Romantic Relationship for the rest of our lives.

[hotpotato]

No more POF!!!

[Purepony]

I just became single and here's my three

 

1. I'm alone but don't feel as alone as I felt in the relationship

 

2. I can go anywhere I want and I will start traveling more

 

3. I can spend more time with myself before it was her and me and I always came second

 

4. I can make decisions on my own

 

5. I can stay up late and watch more tv or anything I want before had to be something we both liked

 

6. I can work on my own projects, things I need to finish

 

I can actually add a few more but at the end of the day they both have upsides and downsides I think as long as your happy that's all that matters

[preraph]

I always had long periods of not being with anyone and very few really serious long relationships, but also, I grew up perfectly capable of being alone and also needing a lot of "me" time because I grew up entertaining myself and with animals. Some people can't do it. Others are fine with it. How I am is when I was young, I needed constant excitement. I was hungry all the time for excitement and the next fun thing and was like a shark that way. But even then, I needed some days in bed doing nothing by myself. By the time I hit 40, I stopped having that craving to keep mixing it up, for the most part, and I've lived alone for some decades now with my dogs. So I don't consider it alone, really. I'm good with just having animals. But everyone is different.

[hotpotato]

No one to

dump me

emotionally or physically abuse me

cheat on me

[VeveCakes]

I can sleep with whatever hot guy I want....

no one asking "do your dogs REALLY have to sleep in the bed?" (its King size, stop whining)

I can travel and be free to meet new people

No one to bitch about how expensive my horses are haha

[Cora]

One less gift I have to buy for Christmas, Valentine's Day, anniversary, birthday etc. it's always a good thing when I save money! ?

[BlackCherry]

I'm not single, ended a 2.5yr R in June this year and started a new R in July. But here are the positives of being single:

 

1) nobody holding me back. My ex and I split cos I wanted kids and he didn't. Even though there's never any guarantee a woman will go on to meet the right man at the right time for a family, at least it became a possibility. Better to be single and available to meet a man with compatible goals than be stuck with someone you feel is holding you back from your dreams.

 

2) easier to focus on your career and studies. I'm SO busy right now, it's hard to fit everything in. My new boyfriend is also very busy so it works, but I'd have felt guilty doing this much stuff for work and studying if I was with my ex.

 

3) more time for friendships. Who says love has to be romantic? More time to focus on the friends you love.

 

4) freedom to decorate your environment just how YOU like it. I love having my own space I can make girly and decorate just how I want it without loads of messy boy stuff everywhere!

 

5) that sense of emotional security. Even in the best Rs, you're always aware that at any moment the person could hurt you deeply or leave you. It's so nice being single knowing that nobody has the power to hurt you that deeply right now. A wonderful sense of freedom..

[Mrlonelyone]

5) that sense of emotional security. Even in the best Rs, you're always aware that at any moment the person could hurt you deeply or leave you. It's so nice being single knowing that nobody has the power to hurt you that deeply right now. A wonderful sense of freedom..

 

Deep.

 

So you see people it isn't so negative being single. When one is here searching it may not feel ok, but it is.

[SwordofFlame]

Main advantage is not having to clean my apartment as frequently or thoroughly lol.

[Hopeful714]

No one to hurt you.

 

Doing whatever you want.

 

Pajama/guilty pleasure days spent lounging doing nothing much but chick flicks, books and loveshack.

 

No social activities you dread doing.

 

Spending much time with my 18 yr old eldery cat who loves me and has always been there for me through everything.

 

Pancakes for dinner

 

And lastly, being available just in case someone special comes along you'd like to spend time with.

[Damia]

Iv been single since 2010 after a 25 yr relationship/marriage

 

1. Not being made to feel guilty/lazy for staying in my pjs until midday on the weekends! ( after a 50 hr work week)

 

2. Eating or not ,whatever and whenever suits me.

 

3. Decorating to suit myself

 

4. Not having to justify what I spend my money on.

 

5. Really just the freedom of choice about everything!!

 

The above is fantastic but having someone to share things with would also be nice. With luck and good management all things may be possible in the future

[MrPlop]

Financial improvement, complete ownership of my tv & no driving none around.

[Popsicle]

The best part of being single is the FREEDOM. I can do whatever I want. It's all about me, me, me. I don't have to worry about anyone else in whatever I do.

[ElizabethIII]

You dont have to put up with their friends and family anymore or hear about them.

 

You dont get on with all of their friends and family: there is always at least one you dont like.