Mid life wife drama

[rocky2marie]

Reading your posts I am reminded of the scene in Gone With The Wind, where a drunken Rhett confronts his wife about Ashley Wilkes.

 

Rhett: Mr Wilkes, who can't be mentally faithful to his wife, but won't be technically unfaithful.

 

Your wife seems to have these same traits. The shame is that they spend so much time in a fantasy world, while true love slips them by. Hopefully, it won't end like the movie with you walking out the door saying frankly my dear I don't give a damn.

 

I think you get the gist of her writings, so I don't think there is much to be gained by reading more. I think that you two need to find some happy events, where troubles are not discussed, leave that to counseling. You need to find fun family events and joy in your life, after all tomorrow is another day.

 

 

Thank you for the anecdote and words of advice. This is pretty spot on. Unironically she's always referred to me as her Rhett Butler.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Rocky, I just read your response to my earlier post. From what you have written it seems that your wife has a lot of fantasy scenarios going on in her mind almost as if she is living in another world while just existing in this one. This points to some kind of a suppressed desire within her, which of course, she cannot give expression to in daily life, but by expressing herself in her journals, she is able to live out her fantasies in a virtual world and thereby release the pressure which seems to build up within her from time to time. It is something like actual physical desire or what most people refer to as 'Being Horny' and which requires actual physical release by masturbating or having real sex with someone.

 

 

My take on this is that she probably needs some deep therapy to identify and then treat the fundamental issue which manifests itself in this manner. This may be something beyond her control and she herself may not really know what is going on. She is definitely a candidate for having an affair because a time may come when she may just blur the lines between reality and the virtual and just live out her fantasies in the real world. If you look up websites that deal with the alternate lifestyle themes, especially what is known as the 'Hotwife' scene, you will see that usually men with regard to their wives, but also a number of women, have these fantasy desires of their wives/ themselves having sex with other men. In fact in some cases it is the wife who has initiated the change over to the 'Hotwife' lifestyle pulling along a reluctant husband who is not really certain where this change of marital status will eventually lead to. So I guess before your wife actuates her fantasies in real life, you should get her to a therapist, probably one who practices 'Hypno Therapy', to zero in on the issue at the heart of her problem and then work to resolve it. I would suggest you do so at the earliest and not waste any more time unless you want to face unpleasant consequences for having procrastinated. Warm wishes.

[rocky2marie]

So I guess before your wife actuates her fantasies in real life, you should get her to a therapist, probably one who practices 'Hypno Therapy', to zero in on the issue at the heart of her problem and then work to resolve it. I would suggest you do so at the earliest and not waste any more time unless you want to face unpleasant consequences for having procrastinated. Warm wishes.

 

 

Again, the therapist that she went to lasted one session because she

"felt pure love for him". She's definitely driven by a ton of fantasy. She's a writer /artist. Bottom line is I just don't think I can handle this anymore. I don't want any "hot wife" scenarios. I won't be able to allow her to have affairs and enter a don't ask don't tell kind of thing. I'm just not wired like that. I need a less ferile wife.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Rocky, I guess you have to take a call soon and it is going to be a hard and heart breaking one for you. My full sympathies for you and I wish you the very best going forward.