Personality change after break up

[guild11]

Hey guys, I was wondering did it happen you that you became more confident, dominant and overall more mature after a break up?

 

We broke up 2 weeks ago, it was mutual but she brought it up.

I was really sad at first, I even cried alone and called her multiple times and at some point accepted it.

 

Now I find myself more confident, I express myself more and became more dominant person at work, and going to be promoted in 2 days at the work.

 

It somewhat seems that I needed that break up to wake up and started to move myself forward.

In the past I was afraid doing stuff I wanted because I always said I'm no good at it.

But now I spend almost everyday doing those things.

 

That's pretty much it, I'lol be glad to read if anyone had same "transformation"

[Dolores88]

I had 4 years relationship, he cheated on me,I couldn't accept that fact and live with it, I decided to put an end. Believe me, it was the best thing that ever happen to me. I was sad and crying for a weeks, but then I realized that I am really happy that I found out about this now then later and if he was worth it, we would still have been together. Now I feel full with self-esteem, ready to do so many things that I wasn't doing because of him. Good luck and believe or not, after every bad thing, good things are always coming.

[letsgetcoffee]

I've gone through this after literally every relationship I've had, mainly because a failing relationship makes me feel sad in some way, and when it's finally over, I'm like oh yeah let's have fun we haven't done that in a while!

 

There's definitely reason to think this is an evolutionary trait as well: you lose your mate and the chance to pass on your genes, better be more outgoing and change your situation!

[Taramere]

Hey guys, I was wondering did it happen you that you became more confident, dominant and overall more mature after a break up?

 

I wouldn't say dominant....but generally less prone to self pity, I think. More self sufficient. Less prone to feeling fragile and distressed when other people let me down.

 

We broke up 2 weeks ago, it was mutual but she brought it up. I was really sad at first, I even cried alone and called her multiple times and at some point accepted it.

 

Now I find myself more confident, I express myself more and became more dominant person at work, and going to be promoted in 2 days at the work.

 

It somewhat seems that I needed that break up to wake up and started to move myself forward.

 

In the past I was afraid doing stuff I wanted because I always said I'm no good at it.

 

But now I spend almost everyday doing those things.

 

I think when you're in a relationship, it's easy to sacrifice some of your "sense of self" for the sake of being part of a couple. To not even realise the extent to which you've done it, until the relationship is over. What you're doing now probably involves recovering bits and pieces of your "self" that got a bit lost in the course of having a relationship.

 

Much as they can add value to our lives, some friendships and relationships force us to tone down certain aspects of ourselves for the sake of preserving harmony, managing other people's ego needs etc.

 

Now that the initial shock and upset of the break up is over, you're probably entering into that sense of freedom and "I can do/be whatever I feel like, without having to worry about how it impacts on the other person."

[SpiralOut]

My last breakup was so brutal that it made me realize I can deal with anything. I didn't become more dominant exactly, but I became more outspoken and decisive in my dating life. I didn't settle for anyone I didn't completely like, and I was direct with the guys when I stopped seeing them. I felt/feel confident in my ability to be alone. I always knew that it's better to be alone than with the wrong person, but I came to understand that on a deeper level.

Edited January 3, 2017 by SpiralOut

[aurelius99]

Suffering, in any form, leads to increased personal growth and confidence. What does not kill you makes you stronger.