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Finding my illegitimate sibling...


passion27

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About two years ago my father's brother died and when we were going through his home I found a picture that belonged to my dad and when I took it to my mom she told me that the women had been a girlfriend of my dad's, Rosemary. Apparently they only dated for a short while but she ended up pregnant and my dad took no responsibility. He claimed that it couldn't have been his. However, my mom told me that he still calls this women every year on the same day and that he went to visit her during his business trip to Indiana. When my mom first told me I wanted nothing to do with it. But since then one of my brothers committed suicide and the other one doesn't want a relationship with me. So now I want to know the truth. If I have another brother or sister, I think I have a right to know him/her. The problem is my dad. I have no idea if I should approach him about it. I don't know how my mom feels about it either way but when I told my oldest brother he wanted nothing to do with it. Since my brother's death I've overcome severe depression and self mutilation which only my former boyfriend knew about. My deceased brother and my ex boyfriend were the only two people who I could go to when I was in emotional trouble but now I've lost them both. I don't want to hurt my mom or my brother but I feel that I have a right to know. So how do I go about talking to my dad about it. I've thought about snooping around and trying to find an email address or something but I want to hear it from the horses mouth. The other thing is my mom hasn't always been truthful about stuff in the past so I don't know how much of it has been dramatized. Also I'm in the midst of trying to scrape together enough money to pay for my senior year of college and getting my parents to cooperate for my sake has been more than difficult so I also don't want to make that any harder either. But I have to know... I've started to battle the depression again and if they're is someone out there who would help me if they only knew... I want to find them. Please help me!

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A Fly onThe Wall
Originally posted by passion27

I think I have a right to know him/her.

 

One of my sisters was born illegitimate and her mother died when I was in my teens and my dad and stepmother raised her from about 10 years of age. This was when I found out about her ( when she moved in with us ) and to this day I can't think of what my life would've been like without her.. I am blessed that she was brought into my life as well as my other siblings lives.

 

I think at 21 you do have a right to know.. But your dad also has a right to not tell you any details.. I'd try talking to your mom about how to present it to your dad .

 

The reality is you have a half sibling out there that you want to know .. There is nothing wrong with that

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