Message from a random guy saying he slept with my girlfriend

[umirano]

You know what, she said to me she was going to tell me. I've never heard such rubbish in all my life. I keep imaging if this guy never told me. I'd be none the wiser and she'd be mugging me off years to come.

 

I guess I'm lucky we don't own a house together or have any kids.

 

Thanks all for the reassuring words!

 

I doubt it'd have taken you years Most cheaters get greedy and believe they're invincible. They start becoming careless and they get caught eventually. Some people put their partner on a pedestal and have a hard time spotting the signs, but most people eventually wake up.

 

But definitely lucky

 

Getting rid of a cheater, a great way to start a new year!

[HereNorThere]

I'm on mobile now, but you can dig through my post on a few other threads about my story. I didn't catch your age, but in my mid twenties something similar happened to me. It didn't handle it quite as well you at first, dug myself a deep hole and laid there for a year. I decided to see a therapist, became really interested in psychology and learned A LOT about myself and human behavior.

 

You have a choice right now, OP. You can let the pain break you and turn you into a jaded loser who has to "mate guard" and be paranoid about women cheating on you. Like a self fulfilling prophecy, women can sense that kind of insecurity and look for a better branch to swing to

 

Or

 

You can be like me. Take a little time and devote yourself to self-improvement, figure out your sticking points, build on your successes as well as your failures, put some money, time and effort into yourself and have more options. Some people are just cheaters, period. There's evidence that it can be a genetic thing completely out of your hands. There's a certain dopamine receptor variant that makes people more prone to risky or novelty seeking behavior. Add that in with parental and family issues, lack of validation/too much validation, and these people are nothing more than ticking time bombs. The more you date, the more you research and stay on relationship forums, the easier it is to spot these people. I had an experience with a girl at the club last night that was trying to cheat on her boyfriend right in front of him! This crazy chick almost put my life in jeopardy because she wanted my validation. She literally put her hands in my pockets in front her bf. Whoa lady, I hate to sound sleazy, but tease me. I recognized the signs just in time to get out of the situation. These chicks are out there, man. Get your weight up so you'll be prepared in the future.

Edited January 2, 2017 by HereNorThere

[sandylee1]

What a cheater .... and if oral sex is important to her and she loves it (sounds like she does), then she should have left you instead of cheat on you.