Trainee Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 We met each other at work. I didnt find out that she liked me until after I quit and I got her number. We spoke on the phone and everything was going well. We've been talking for a month now and currently went on 4 dates. The first was unexpected and unplanned, she called me from work and asked me to pick her up, which I did and from there I suggested going to the park. We had a great time talking and holding hands. Things got better when I told her I didn't yet know how to kiss. We spent about 2 hours just making out and being intimate. Anyways I'll spare you guys the details. I last spoke to her a week ago. It was late and her phone was dying so I told her to call me tomorrow. But the next I went to conneticut(sp?)and I was there for 4 days. When I came home I checked the caller ID to see if she called. Nothing. So I called her house and told her mom to let her know that I called(mind you her mom hates me so I don't know if she told her or not). Whatever the case she didn't call back. The next day I left a message on her cell asking her to call me, this was around 8pm and then I called her later, at 12. Her sister picked up the phone and said she wasnt home. I mean shes always home at this time. I'm new to this dating scence so can someone tell me if this is normal behaviour. I mean we went from talking to each other everyday or every other day( mind you she was calling most of the time) to her disappearing on me like this. I feel duped. Link to post Share on other sites
Angelina1433 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Since you left a message on her cell, the ball is in her court. If she really likes you - she'll call you back soon. Just be patient, and DON'T call her again. If she doesn't call you in a week, I'd call her one more time, just to see how she's doing - to see if she's "OK" since you haven't heard from her. If she still doesn't call, I'd chock it up to her blowing you off. I hope it works out for you! Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Originally posted by Angelina1433 Since you left a message on her cell, the ball is in her court. If she really likes you - she'll call you back soon. Just be patient, and DON'T call her again. If she doesn't call you in a week, I'd call her one more time, just to see how she's doing - to see if she's "OK" since you haven't heard from her. If she still doesn't call, I'd chock it up to her blowing you off. I hope it works out for you! Great advice Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Hmmm... she suddenly stopped talking to you after you went to Connecticut for 4 days. Could be that she is the morbidly jealous type especially if you met some girl there (an ex or whatever). I would actually continue to call her every day until I hear what's going on from her. Humiliating or not, it will be a good experience for you to find out what happened. You've got nothing to lose. She is obviously playing some game or is trying to get rid of you because she has someone else in mind. Ask her to tell you the truth, tell her that the truth is always easier than lies. If you're not her type, you'd like to know that. Link to post Share on other sites
Angelina1433 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Eeek! If you call her everyday, IMO I think that makes you seem needy and desperate. Even if you desperately want to talk to her, wait, then call. Some women (young or old) tend to get scared off by "patheticism". Just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Justagirl2008 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Ummm no do not call her everyday. The other poster is right, not only will you come off as needy and desperate but you'll also come off as a stalker. I wouldn't call her for a week, then call her and try to touch base, and like the other person said, if she doesn't pick up her phone or if she seems distant or whatever then yes you could chalk it up to her not being interested anymore. Just remain calm and patient and even if it doesn't work out well at least you'll know. Sometimes its the not knowing that kills ya. I do not appreciate people that play games or can not be upfront about their feelings. I don't care how harsh it is towards me, I'd like to know one way or the other. Goodluck. Link to post Share on other sites
jacquelyn Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 I've been in a similar situation 3 years ago. We would talk literally every single day for 4 months straight, never missing a day to call me. And then it went to every other day, then every week, every other week.. so on. I would ask him why hasn't he called me anymore and I started to initiate the calls. I guess I came off a bit desparate and it drove him away. Well, to make the story short, after I stopped calling him, he started to call him. All in all, I guess you just gotta give her some time to miss you. I agree. If you really must call her, just call her once more and if she doesn't pick up, just leave a message asking if she's okay. so it only seems as though you're worried about her that's why you called her this much. Good luck and keep us updated! Link to post Share on other sites
my_manda Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 I know you go crazy waiting for her to call, but if you are new to dating then my advice is to stay busy and fill your life with other activitie so you do not worry about her calling, and when she does, she will see what a strong, interesting man you are. That is attractive. Someone who wants you, but does not need you is someone most men/women who have the ball in their court (and she definitely has the ball in her court with this one), see as worth pursuing. I would not call everyday, she is giving you the answers you need by not calling and why get an explanation if she does not call again? What does she need to say that her actions already are not telling you? I have been there when I have been waiting for a guy to call, and I can tell you that when I stayed busy, the calls seemed to come so much faster. Fake it till you make it and good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Trainee Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 Well I still haven't heard from her. I guess thats it. Would it be weird if I called her later on down the road and asked to be friends or should I even do it at all? Link to post Share on other sites
Angelina1433 Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 Sorry you haven't heard from her. I'd say that if you want to still call, give it a couple of weeks and just call to say you haven't heard from her and you're calling to see if she's okay (like I said above). However, it seems like you've done all that you can to let her know that you are still interested. If a girl is interested, she'll call you back. I can't begin to speculate what changed with her. There are plenty of other girls out there. You seem like a nice young guy, so you should go out there and try to find a girl who is worthy of your attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Trainee Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 Thanx. you've been real helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
fundamental Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer Hmmm... she suddenly stopped talking to you after you went to Connecticut for 4 days. Could be that she is the morbidly jealous type especially if you met some girl there (an ex or whatever). I would actually continue to call her every day until I hear what's going on from her. Humiliating or not, it will be a good experience for you to find out what happened. You've got nothing to lose. She is obviously playing some game or is trying to get rid of you because she has someone else in mind. Ask her to tell you the truth, tell her that the truth is always easier than lies. If you're not her type, you'd like to know that. I kind of agree with Record Producer except for calling her every day. I believe she thinks you are playing games with her. Perhaps, something like this has happened to her in the past and she is turning this into a game. I would probably call her one more time, leave a message telling her to call you back and explain to her that you were in CT and if she has a problem with it then maybe it would be best to stop seeing each other. If she doesn't call you back, it is her loss. Plus, getting involved with a girl who will act like this just because you went to CT for four days is trouble. As this relationship progresses, you will have to make excuses for every single time she cannot get in touch with you. Link to post Share on other sites
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