bryan1282 Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 about a month ago, my gitlfriend told me she wanted to take a break....which really hit me hard and by surprise, we have been dating for 4 years and we rarely had problems or arguments, just petty things. she said she needs a break and wants to explore life. shes 18 and i am her first real boyfriend, now i know that is probably my answer right there. But i feel after 4 years, a good relationship, and i hd done much to be with her and make her happy, she lives an hour away and she didnt have a car for 3 years so i ALWAYS did the driving, i took here everywhere, i felt i was very affectionate to her, but she claims she loves me and she doesnt want me to leave her life, wants to be friends and maybe she said, she might change her mind. i feel i have done what i could to make her happy and let her take her break, but now i find out shes already going out with another guy she knew from college for a few monthes, and about the time she broke up with me, she had gotten a brand new car, was making money now and i feel i was being used, she doesnt need me to pay for things and drive her around so why does she need me. maybe im paranoid. this is my first real long term relationship and its hard for me, ive been with other girls no longer then a year and it didnt bother me so muchto break up with them....... im trying to let her be...once in a while i say hi to her online.....but i never really tried anything to get her back....im dying to though, i love her deeply i really want her back in my life. i really felt she was the one. Is it worth trying anything to get her back or should i just let go?? Im pretty sure i know what the answer is, but i figured id just see what you all had to say. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
markraine Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 she's 18. girls around that age usually aren't ready for a permanent-long-term relationship deal, they are unsure of what they want, they want to explore, discover new things, I say move on with your life, if you happen to run into her in like.....5-6 years........and she's available, that might be a better time to pursue her, otherwise just let her go, if she wants to, she knows how to contact to you if she inevitably discovers that the grass is NOT greener on the other side Link to post Share on other sites
Author bryan1282 Posted July 17, 2005 Author Share Posted July 17, 2005 she lost her dad about a year ago and her paretns were divorced for years prior to that, her mom is depressed akmost all the time and has problems keeping a man and is now involved with a guy that comes over when he wants calls when he wants, she is constantly getting upset about him and takes it out on my ex and her younger sis by yelling at them for dumb things and telling them they cant do certain things like go out. i went with her to her dads grave a few weeks ago, after she had dumped me, cuz i thought it was a nice thing and had nothing to do with me and her, none of her family went not even her mom, her sis did though....her mom didnt wanan take time off work, but she made plans with that messed up guy shes seeing to go to a horse race next wednesday, which requires her to take time off work. my ex is very smart and had made deans list in her freshman year at college and i dont think she waould do anything crazy....but last time i talked with her, she was upset cuz i was trying to help her with a problem and she said drinking drugs and smoking would make things better and i chalked that up to just anger.....but i feel she might do something crazy if i just let her be, she really has no family to turn to except a younger sister, shes supposdily seeing a guy that she met in college, and she has no real friends to turn to, just people she sees in during the school year and maybe she saw them once or twice during the summer...so i feel i am the only person that known her long enough to help her, she had told me in the past that she was thankful she met me because i was able to take her places and show heer a good time, and she didnt have to ahng out with her druggy drinking friends in high school. i though i did her a favor, but know shes so angry and depressed im afraid and worried...now i dont talk to her much, she doesnt have any people to lean on. i am the only guy she has slept with and had a serious relationship with and i know i should let her go and do what she wants in that sense, maybe she might come back maybe not, thats fine ill get over that......but im concerned if i should ignore her while shes going though these problems or try to help???? what do u all think? Link to post Share on other sites
markraine Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 if she calls, and you think you can handle it, respond and be courteous, but don't be her backup plan, or her safety, you're supposed to be moving on, you didn't let her go, she let you go, by all means if you think you two have a future together, then continue responding to her, but allow HER to be the one who makes contact, she'll get the hint that you are moving on with your life and you won't be her leaf in the wind, just hanging around, waiting for her to call. Go out and have fun, let time take care of the rest, if a girl wants you back, she'll find a way to make it happen, if not, well, there is always bigger and better things ahead of you in life, don't be afraid of them Good Luck to you my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bryan1282 Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 yeah i kinda figured thats what id do......i still feel bad cuz the last time we talked when we got off, she said "i love you, bye" and that made me feel like maybe shes confused and just wants to try someting else and still has feelings for me and like u said, ill let her be but if she contacts me ill answer and be nice, i feel its not her fault shes the way she is now and i didnt do anything to push her way and its not my fault either. what if in the near future shes contacts me and says shes sorry and wants me back, even if its tomarrow or 6 monthes, should i go back to her if i have feelings for her or no?? maybe i would be asking for a hurtin again?? Link to post Share on other sites
DonJuan` Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 bryan1282: I am going through the same thing... what u should do, is just be friends with her till she sorts herself out. Otherwise u'll just run into heartbreak... give her time, give her space, LIVE YOUR LIFE, and if the 2 of u were meant to be, u will, if not, then you'll find yourself another women to make into your little princess Link to post Share on other sites
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