she's so insecure, Its killing our wonderful relationship

[fizz19]

I have been dating my fiancée for 3 years now, I proposed last year, We have had a wonderful relationship, My parents love her, She is wonderful, An ideal woman, She's got some very unique qualities that are quite rare, And I love her for it, I deeply respect her, She is growing with me, I am not yet financially buoyant yet she makes a perfect partner, one that believes in you and want to see you grow...

 

BUT...

 

She is utterly insecure, she had a tough up-bringing too, money was and is still tight, no family support, she is self sponsoring herself to school, and how I admire that! I help out every time I can, not even whenever, But I seem to be the punching bag for not having it on a bed of roses,

 

Whenever her rich friends comes around or she goes visiting them, it triggers her momentum, putting me on pressure, on the back end of an inadequate lifestyle, they try to brainwash her to become more exposed, cheat and extort men, but she's got a good heart, she's been steadfast so far.

 

Whenever she seeps into that mood of despair, she takes my phone and find any reason to go into tirades of transfer of aggression, often disrespecting me in the process. she believes she should have access to my phone, chat apps and all but I always refuse, that although has not stopped her from going through my phone to find issues to pick fights on,If you want to read my chats, fine, but don't take any sensitive messages personal, I am faithful, but I have friends and they can be often flirty, I am in this cycle where i am beginning to feel insecure in even having normal conversations with other people, last time, her hot friend came over, after she let, my fiancée only requested to see pictures of a previous mountain hike I went to with my male friends. Instead, she scrolled to see her just departed hot friend's picture on my phone and she literarily drove me out of her house, I am and have always been a one woman man, she is well aware of that fact and knows of my faithfulness towards her, yet the insecurity wont go away, I have tried talking to her but she is intransigent, she learns better by experience, and I don't have the guts to leave her for another in other to teach her that a man cant be possessed, I am really confused as I love her so much and we have built a strong relationship that is even a model to other people.

 

your advice and recommendations would be greatly appreciated. thanks for reading...

[VeveCakes]

Why do you flirt with other women through text?

Why do you have her hot friends photo in your phone?

 

Seems like she has reason to at least be worried.

[whichwayisup]

she scrolled to see her just departed hot friend's picture on my phone and she literarily drove me out of her house,

 

??!! the above. WHY do you have picture of HER friend on your phone? that's weird.

 

Your whole post seems off, you're upset that she's upset and jealous because you're flirty with women online, sending texts.

[lovemebreakme]

I have been dating my fiancée for 3 years now, I proposed last year, We have had a wonderful relationship, My parents love her, She is wonderful, An ideal woman, She's got some very unique qualities that are quite rare, And I love her for it, I deeply respect her, She is growing with me, I am not yet financially buoyant yet she makes a perfect partner, one that believes in you and want to see you grow...

 

BUT...

 

She is utterly insecure, she had a tough up-bringing too, money was and is still tight, no family support, she is self sponsoring herself to school, and how I admire that! I help out every time I can, not even whenever, But I seem to be the punching bag for not having it on a bed of roses,

 

Whenever her rich friends comes around or she goes visiting them, it triggers her momentum, putting me on pressure, on the back end of an inadequate lifestyle, they try to brainwash her to become more exposed, cheat and extort men, but she's got a good heart, she's been steadfast so far.

 

Whenever she seeps into that mood of despair, she takes my phone and find any reason to go into tirades of transfer of aggression, often disrespecting me in the process. she believes she should have access to my phone, chat apps and all but I always refuse, that although has not stopped her from going through my phone to find issues to pick fights on,If you want to read my chats, fine, but don't take any sensitive messages personal, I am faithful, but I have friends and they can be often flirty, I am in this cycle where i am beginning to feel insecure in even having normal conversations with other people, last time, her hot friend came over, after she let, my fiancée only requested to see pictures of a previous mountain hike I went to with my male friends. Instead, she scrolled to see her just departed hot friend's picture on my phone and she literarily drove me out of her house, I am and have always been a one woman man, she is well aware of that fact and knows of my faithfulness towards her, yet the insecurity wont go away, I have tried talking to her but she is intransigent, she learns better by experience, and I don't have the guts to leave her for another in other to teach her that a man cant be possessed, I am really confused as I love her so much and we have built a strong relationship that is even a model to other people.

 

your advice and recommendations would be greatly appreciated. thanks for reading...

 

 

You say you are respectful and faithful, but yet you have pictures of a hot girl on your phone. Why do you have a picture of a hot friend on your phone. And if you are flirting, then why are you surprised that she is jealous and insecure. Flirting is for single men. You are committed. I'd be less concern about your fiance insecurities and more about your lack of boundaries.

[Mr. Lucky]

but I have friends and they can be often flirty

 

You're gaslighting her. Interacting with "flirty" friends is called flirting. If you're crossing boundaries, she's not inappropriately insecure.

 

You seem determined to make this her problem. Most people wouldn't think her reaction was unusual at all....

 

Mr. Lucky

[mikeylo]

YOU are killing your relationship. Not her.

[Starswillshine]

This is YOYR problem, not her. She is obviously not comfortable with you flirting (most people are not). You continuously chose to ignore it and thus leads to more trust issues. When she tells you she doesn't like this.... LISTEN. She isn't crazy, she isn't insecure... you are flirting with other women.

 

Why do you have a picture of her friend?

[NTV]

Are you acting out like this but flirting with her friends because you're not ready to be married? I ask because it's pretty normal to be scared of commitment like that and a lot of people act out in different ways when they're facing that. Is that what's going on here or is it something else?

[Els]

...And you think the problem is HER?

 

How would you feel if she was constantly hanging out with 'flirty' guys and encouraging them? Also, having their pictures on her phone?