Wife dropped me again

[Metalbeard]

Hi all, this is my first post on a site regarding my situation but got the point where I could really do with some outside opinions and advice.

 

Me and my wife separated about 4 months ago after having a horrendous year with house getting flooded and arguing, I think it was coming for a while as she changes her mind about what she wants regularly. Anyway we split 4 months ago and she started seeing someone else before I had even moved out which turned out to be a major rebound, when this rebound ended she was left distraught and said she had realised what she had lost in me and wanted to work things out, she suffered depression since the house was flooded and this was made alot worse with our separation so I helped her and gave her everything I had for the last 2 months.

 

She was constantly messaging me asking me to not let her go that she wanted this and we spent alot of time together, went on trips away to rekindle things and then wham, Christmas eve she tells me she doesn't want this and she'd met someone else again.

 

I was in a bad way when we first split and it took me all I had left to rebuild myself, look forwards and become the me that I wanted to be and all of this has knocked me to the floor again, I miss her dearly and she sucked me right back in only to spit me out again and I don't know where to turn at this point, it's left me feeling majorly alone and confused which is strange to me because I'm usually such a strong outgoing person.

 

I don't want this to make me feel like love is a horrible thing and wondered if anyone had been through any thing like this and how you managed to rebuild your life, I feel so low right now it's horrendous

[Mr. Lucky]

I don't want this to make me feel like love is a horrible thing and wondered if anyone had been through any thing like this and how you managed to rebuild your life, I feel so low right now it's horrendous

 

It's embarrassing to admit this, even on an anonymous Internet forum, but I was dumb enough to attempt reconciliation with my cheating ex-wife four times. We had a young child together so I was motivated, but it still qualifies me as a world-class slow learner.

 

So I get what you're going through. Do you have kids together or any other reason you have to stay in contact with her? I focused on my son, leaned on friends and family and put any left-over energy into exercise and career. The trick is to avoid the long, lonely tequila-soaked nights.

 

Keep posting, many with lots to share here...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Metalbeard]

I'm sorry to hear that, yeah we have children. I'm Trying to concentrate on them and work atm but I feel stuck in limbo which is a horrible place to be, part of me wants to move on and let her go but then there's the part of me that loves her and that wanted a happy life with her that won't let me let go.

 

I can see what I'm writing and it sounds somewhat pathetic even to me but what can you do when you are in love with someone so flaky?

[BuddyX]

It's one thing to drop your spouse, but to bail on the kids like that. Ouch.

Let her go. She's not a suitable wife or mom.

[enddeck]

I'm sorry to hear that, yeah we have children. I'm Trying to concentrate on them and work atm but I feel stuck in limbo which is a horrible place to be, part of me wants to move on and let her go but then there's the part of me that loves her and that wanted a happy life with her that won't let me let go.

 

I can see what I'm writing and it sounds somewhat pathetic even to me but what can you do when you are in love with someone so flaky?

 

She is treating you as the fall back guy who will always be waiting for her.Every time she gets involved in another short term fling she knows this.You are plan B and you will never become plan A because of the way your wife thinks.You need to decide what is best for you and your children because she is behaving like a child in a toy shop.

[Mr. Lucky]

I'm sorry to hear that

 

Don't be sorry. I met a wonderful woman several years later and we've found a great life together. Best thing that ever happened to me.

 

there's the part of me that loves her and that wanted a happy life with her that won't let me let go.

 

I can see what I'm writing and it sounds somewhat pathetic even to me but what can you do when you are in love with someone so flaky?

 

At some point you'll just tire of the drama and craziness. Love is supposed to be affirming, not destructive...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Giacomo67]

sorry for what you are going through, but if you wish to heal you need to put her of the pedastal.... she oviously is not really in love with you, she probably cares and has feelings as father of her kids, so if this second affair fails she will be safe since you seem to be for her a good plan b, but that is not love that is being selfish.

Probably she never has seen you as a strong alpha male, since you allowed her back in your life with little or none consequences.

You love what once was....

consult an attorney, divide your bank account and tell her that she is now free to have all the affairs she wishes, its over.

OH.... and when she will tell you after a short while that she made another mistake tell her that your sorry for her bad choices and wish her well.

[Christian2282]

That can be frustrating. I left my abusive husband in December and had already given him a second chance. I found out the other night he is rehashing things with a coworker he had flirted with during our marriage and know where it's leading. However, my situation I'm thinking she's going to learn within a year his flaws and abusive nature so what comes around goes around. I know guys aren't much for writing, but since you posted on here then make a list of all the things that were a problem with her or in your marriage. This way letting go doesn't seem so hard. When I think about my husband who was super hot.. I have to look at that list and remind myself of his ugly actions and way treated me. Then I feel more peace for what future holds. Good luck to you and God bless!