ichawkguy Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 This is my first time posting on this site and I wanted to thank everyone. This site has been a great resource and you all have wonderful advise. Well, I'll try to keep this fairly short. A little over a year ago I met the girl whom I considered to be the love of my life. We met on an internet personals site as she was moving to IA from MN to attend grad school. We were incredible together. She is the most incredible woman I have ever met. After 8 months I had graduated from college and was working on making a difficult transition financially to the real world. I had to take a 2nd part-time job in addition to my new full-time position and was working about 60 hours a week, including every Friday and Saturday night. I guess she sort of got put on the back burner. A couple months of this put a huge stress on our relationship. She was trying to get more and more out of it as I was not. Unfortunately, we decided to take some time apart. I pretty quickly was able to get myself in a good place and really felt I could give her everything she needed and deserved. But in our time apart she says she realized how dependent she is on a significant other and needs to work on herself and being alone. It has been four 6 months since we ended our relationship and I still would do anything for her. We talk via email at least once a week and chat on yahoo from time to time. She still says she loves to talk to me and wants to be my friend but just isn't interested in starting a relationship with anybody. I completly understand what she is saying but it's very hard for me because I still believe she is the one. She is everything I have ever wanted in a woman and more. Since we have been apart I have not felt like I was myself at all. I know she once felt the same way. I guess the one thing that keeps me wondering is she has never said anything about her feelings at all. The only thing she will say at all regarding us is that she doesn't want to be in a relationship at all. Could she honestly be just that scared of getting back together? It seems whenever I do bring it up, I do it in an extreme way. I send flowers to her work or I write a very emotional letter. I have decided this may have been a mistake. She will be moving back to Iowa in about a month and I intend on taking things really slow. I just want to be around her in anyway possible. So, I want to slowly work my way back to dating her but am sort of clueless how to do it as I tend to jump in with both feet. I don't want to put too much pressure on here, just have fun and remind her of how much fun we are together. I'm also not sure how to truly find out if this is what she may want too. Any thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 I got the impression that she is not in love with you. If she were, she would accept your love no matter how pushy it is. Stop communicating with her. If she tries to reach you, talk to her, but not for long. Don't express any feelings. If she loves you, she will fear that you won't wait for her anymore and she will run back to you. But most likely she doesn't really care about getting back together. Link to post Share on other sites
sundrop Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 I was in the same situation you were in a few months ago. At this point all you can be is her friend, don't push the romantic interest, it may be pushing her away, she may have a wall built up because she felt she was put on the back burner for a while and scared to get into that relationship again. Since I was in your shoes at one time this is what I did and it worked..... I voiced I loved him and wanted to get back together with him and he knew that, but I also wanted to try to be his friend, we were friends for a few months after the break up but I never pushed the romantic issue, so after rebuilding our friendship, we spoke and emailed off and on because i wanted to show him i would be there for him, so one night after he got fired from a job, he called me late needing to talk, he needed a friend, and i was there with no pressure for anything more(at least not in his mind) after he got back on his feet and found a new job, he keep asking me to come over and hang out, and we got back togather. So my advise is be there as a friend, even though it may kill you inside knowing you want more, the more I pushed my ex the more he pused away, finally when I quite pushing we got back together. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts