Lookin' for a friend

[Mr. Manners]

Hello, this is my first post on LoveShack.

 

I am getting close to finishing up high school, and it recently dawned on me that I hardly have any friends. (If any.)

 

I am below-average in terms of looks, so no one comes up to me very often. That, and I prefer not to converse.

 

However, there are a brave few that (try to) talk to me everyday during class. Sometimes I brush them off, other times I respond. It all depends on how I am feeling.

 

What I am getting at is: I feel no strong urge to make friends. Is there something wrong with me?

[preraph]

This is real simple: You can't have friends unless you are friendly and ARE a friend. You're still young, so I hope you develop out of this social anxiety or whatever it is that makes you not want to talk to people and be mean to them when they do, because this will assure that you are never successful at anything in life.

 

The fact you're on here asking questions and have it on your mind gives me a glimmer of hope for you. But you need to be proactive in taking classes or doing activities that force you to talk and interact with people and get used to it. If you feel you can't do that, time for therapy, seriously.

 

Your best friends come from these years you've let go past and the next maybe 10 years. After that it's hard to make friends. And you can't have a girlfriend if you can't even have friends because that takes more skills and is more complicated than simple friendship.

[Mr. Manners]

This is real simple: You can't have friends unless you are friendly and ARE a friend. You're still young, so I hope you develop out of this social anxiety or whatever it is that makes you not want to talk to people and be mean to them when they do, because this will assure that you are never successful at anything in life.

 

The fact you're on here asking questions and have it on your mind gives me a glimmer of hope for you. But you need to be proactive in taking classes or doing activities that force you to talk and interact with people and get used to it. If you feel you can't do that, time for therapy, seriously.

 

Your best friends come from these years you've let go past and the next maybe 10 years. After that it's hard to make friends. And you can't have a girlfriend if you can't even have friends because that takes more skills and is more complicated than simple friendship.

 

I appreciate the advice. It'll most likely come to therapy, but I WILL force myself to at least try to be friendly.

 

Taking classes that force you to talk to others sounds great to me, so I will try that first.

[preraph]

With any luck, being in proximity to people repeatedly with a reason to talk to them may put you more at ease. You say on one hand you don't want to converse, but on the other, you are looking for friends, so yes, it's time to push your comfort zone. You know, corny as it sounds, a friendly smile will draw people to you because it makes you look approachable.

 

A good tip to talk to people that rarely fails: Ask them about themselves and their interests: Didn't I see you on the soccer field? How's that going? Or ask something that reflects your own interests, but then listen to them and kind of parrot back some of it so they know you are listening. It's just some tips to make people feel you are interested.