acephoenix Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 (edited) I've posted here before regarding my recent breakup that you can read up on for further detail here: 1) http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/604672-should-i-reach-out-her-i-don-t-even-know-if-she-honest-about-her-reasons 2) http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/604810-i-want-learn-breakup TLDR; + The Latest I dated this girl for several months, and while I had my doubts, I was giving her and the relationship a fair chance at working out instead of jumping to conclusions. During this time, she had given off several signals of commitment and vulnerability issues and I had tried to do my best to take it slow / be accommodating to help her get comfortable with me. However, one day she blindsided me with a breakup hours after asking me to come to her friend's party later that night + booking a bowling lane for us. Her reason was simply that this was too much for her to handle, she needed to figure out why she was so afraid of being vulnerable, and she couldn't do that while continuing to see me. She also threw her feelings for me not being the same as a serious ex she had as one of the reasons. I realized she was confused and her fear/emotions were ruling her at that point. So I tried to be comforting and supportive, told her I wanted to help through this, and she wouldn't listen and it ended. I was shocked and wrecked for a few weeks, but I effectively went into No Contact mode afterwards and removed her from all forms of social media except FB. This week (a few days after her birthday - I didn't wish her), she added me on SnapChat. For those of you who don't know how SC works: - Me removing her would not have removed me from her friends list - Her only way to find out I removed her are to either try to send me something (and see a "pending" notification) or perform an explicit action to see if she was still on my friends list - She would've had to explicitly remove me and add me again for me to see the notification from her. My first thought is that she is either getting lonely during the holiday season, or is confused and inadvertently messing with my mind. If the latter, I'm a bit upset that she isn't approaching me via FB or text message, and picking a cowardly means like SnapChat to get my attention. But on the other hand, there is a part of me that wants to know if she is ready to give this a real shot and if we can make this work out once she's over her issues. Should I accept her request and see what's up? Edited December 31, 2016 by acephoenix Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 No, you shouldn't accept and just let that go. That is meaningless. She could call you, text you or contact you through Facebook with a meaningful message if she wanted something more from you. That wasn't even a breadcrumb. I read your other posts and you just need to leave this one alone. I also get the feeling that you are way too analytical and also too much of "nice guy" with her. Trying to give her what you think she wants and what she needs. You need to think more of yourself and what you want and need and it's not her. Being too much of a "nice guy" is not attractive to most women. Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 Everything's so conducted by social media nowadays, it actually demoralizes me to such an extent. People are so incredibly reliant on social networking apps and feel that gestures made on there are to be considered 'genuine'... If she really did want to try again with you, I'm sure she'd make more of an effort than just add you on Snapchat. You've got two options: 1) Leave her alone, and let things never commence again between the two of you. Seems as though there's been a lot of mind games and childish escapades. Do you really want to deal with the same baggage all over again, to be potentially let down repeatedly like a broken record? (I recommend this option greatly). 2) You acknowledge that she's added you and you ask her what on earth she's playing at. If she can't give you a genuine honest answer, then that's when you can assume she just wants you to fill her current void of loneliness in her life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 Should I accept her request and see what's up? No. Why isn't she on block on all social media? That is a back-door, sneaky way to stay connected instead of talking to you face to face to tell you that they are sorry for breaking up with you, they realize their mistake and they want to get back together with you and will atone and do whatever you ask of them. Accepting a friend request means accepting her crumb trail because she's not asking you to rekindle your relationship... she wants to keep you on the attention hook. Heck, if someone wants me back in their life that badly, they need to bring that message with bold, unmistakable action, not some mealymouthed, half-arsed indirect way like sending friending requests for an app. Don't sell yourself short. You know you deserve better than a friend request on a social media app because whatever fever may be prompting her to do this, that will break and you will be reminded of why she's your ex. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted January 3, 2017 Share Posted January 3, 2017 Heck, if someone wants me back in their life that badly, they need to bring that message with bold, unmistakable action, not some mealymouthed, half-arsed indirect way like sending friending requests for an app. Lol I like that! ??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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