Shandy Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 The quickest and most efficient way to make another woman who is a 7-8 look like a 10 in your husband's eyes is to let him know that you are jealous and intimidated by this girl. That is so true.
Wind Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 I have another take on the situation. I am not saying this is true in your case but consider... I am a teeny blonde barbie doll admin assistant. I can promise you nearly every man I have worked for flirted and would treat me differently that the other ladies in the office. I wound up spending my time with the boys because the other women didnt like me. To be honest, women are often so nasty to me I avoid them avidly! There were times where I was take to office/professional parties where most men brought their wives and he justified it by saying "she doesnt know anyone or anything about the business". We would have our coffee together every morning for the fisrt half hour of work, we would go at lunch to pick up his family dry cleaning and I even picked out her birthday gift. Most would see our "relationship" as totally inappropriate and emotional. However, it wasnt what it seemed. Would I be uncomfortable around his wife- you betcha. Yes I can get what most call "flirty" with the other men but the truth is that IS how men treat me and I dont think anything of it. Fact of life. I am currently flirty with an MM and the BIG DIFFERENCE is I hide it at work so that no one knows. My cousin is in the same boat as me and she could type you the identical post. When she did get flirty with the office romance, she also went out of her way to hide it. If I were you, tell your hubby what you are feeling because if you dont, its only going to fester. Relationships are built on trust and if you dont have that then you have a bigger problem than you think. He might laugh and say yep, she is trying and its pathetically hilarious. If he isnt about to take a leap in her direction, the best solution is to make sure she sees the two of you together as a couple. Do not confront her as you will give her the upper hand by showing your insecurity. If you are concerned about your appearance, then try to become involved in some physical activity that involves you, your hubby and the baby- ride a bike with one of those baby trailers and tour the neighbourhood. Walk to the park etc. A lot of men I know *hate* to see women diet. Watch what you eat during the day when he isnt around and enjoy a good dinner with him at night. Dont change you are and yes, you do have to accept what you look like now and that your body is different. Again, most of my friends are men and they all are pretty accepting of how the body of W or GF changed having their baby. However, they do appreciate seeing effort put into what they were like before the baby. Good luck and I hope that something in my blabbering might apply to you.
JayKay Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 not to detract from this thread.... But men will usually stop flirtatious behavior if you don't encourage it. You can stop a man cold in his tracks with your body language, tone of voice, firm eye contact that says, 'I don't put up with this nonsense' I understand you are probably enjoying their 'friendliness' if you find other women are 'hateful' towards you. But I think if you were more businesslike the women might take to you better.
Wind Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 My point was things are not always what they seem and its easy to let your mind devise situations that may not be accurate. As I said, its just a consideration rather than a statement of what I read in her post. PS- I have spoken to some of the guys about the flirting thing and I was surprised by one of the answers. One said he did it because he thought it was expected of him as a male talking to an attractive female but that he had NO interest in me whatsoever. He really was telling me the truth.
guestie Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 Wind: "I am a teeny blonde barbie doll admin assistant. I can promise you nearly every man I have worked for flirted and would treat me differently that the other ladies in the office. I wound up spending my time with the boys because the other women didnt like me. To be honest, women are often so nasty to me I avoid them avidly! " This just may not be because you are a teeny blonde barbie doll. I work in an office where there is also a teeny blonde barbie doll...who is a manager with her own office. She's beautiful, but all the guys respect her.
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