elaine567 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 This is all getting rather confusing. If you wish to reply to a specific poster press the quote button at the bottom right hand side of their post, the reply page will come up and and you will see that their post is quoted in your reply too. If their post is rather long then you can edit it down solely to the point you wish to reply to. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Thank you I can't afford to pay for a mortgage and Tent in an apartment that's the issue. I don't need permission but my husband won't move out despite me begging him. He's very controlling and this is a major issue. This is why you hire a lawyer. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Hello Thank you for taking out the time to read my story. I'm so depressed at this time because of the breakup. Long story short. I've been married for 15 years & unhappily married for the last 5. My husband & I have been separated on and off bc he refuses to live the life of a married man. He wants to do nothing w/myself & the kids while living his life like he's single. I stopped begging 5 years ago. I've asked for a divorce which he doesn't want. Therefore , I started living my own life & started secretly dating. I met a man. Had a 2 year relationship. I called it off bc I felt he wanted to go back with his child's mother. He got mad, found my husband on fb and told him everything. I admitted it & asked for another divorce which he said no. It's been 13 days since I spoke with him. I'm afraid if I call he might tell my husband & since we live together I don't want to cause any more trouble. My question is this. Why would my friend do that to me? He took my trust and threw it all away. Nonetheless, I still love him. I miss him dearly. What should I do? I am confused. You broke up with your long term AP -becuase you "felt" he was going back to his ex. He got mad (well ya) and told your estranged husband about it all....and your asking why AP did this ? Did I get this right ? You say your husband lives his life as though he were single. So I assume he sees other women? So does it matter that your seeing someone ? (I guess technically and affair)...what could be the possible negatives from your husband ? He might be mad - but since he lives like he is single and wants nothing to do with the kids - whats the worry about him knowing your seeing a man ? Most places in the world a divorce can be delayed but not denied if one person files only for divorce. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Your husband just wants you around to take care of the home and kids and he doesn't want to loose money. What was his reaction when he was told about the affair? What would he say if you said he knows you want a divorce and you'll continue to date other men? Would he get violent? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 I'm confused by the whole thing.....She says she tells her affair partner to start up with another woman because they do have a future, but then says she wants out of the marriage, but has tons of excuses why she can't leave. She wants out but fears talking to AP because he will tell her husband...Words say one thing actions say another. I think op doesn't want to divorce and is transferring her desires to be married while acting single on her husband. Since she says she is the only cheater how exactly is husband acting single. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Don't know why OP is complaining. She is the one that has put herself in this position. Instead of bettering herself five years ago to stand on her own two feet she goes out and cheated on her husband. I understand bad marriages, but if you want a divorce file for one yourself. You are the one that cheated and fell in love with the AP. You are the one living the single life. You are the one that betrayed your husband. Not being judgmental, just stating the truth. During the past two years you and your AP never talked if divorcing and getting married? If not why? You saying that you are afraid of your husband because he is controlling, how is not wanting to file for D himself controlling? Why should he have to do the work of the divorce when you are the one that cheated and wants it? Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 Thank you for your advice and not judging . I think I'm in a domestic violence situation bc my husband is controlling and I have to come up with a safe exit. If your husband is that controlling, how were you able to carry out an affair? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 Thank you I can't afford to pay for a mortgage and Tent in an apartment that's the issue. I don't need permission but my husband won't move out despite me begging him. He's very controlling and this is a major issue. Why would you have to pay both a mortgage and rent? You pay one or the other. Link to post Share on other sites
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