No Happy New Year text from new guy

[varicose]

Is it bad that I did not receive a happy new year text from a guy I have been seeing recently? It's a new thing, and pretty casual, but I worry it means it'll never go anywhere if he didn't even do that.

[ExpatInItaly]

I think he's not as interested as you had hoped. Or perhaps he had another date for the evening.

 

When was the last time you two went out or communicated?

[anonymousbear00101100]

Is it bad that I did not receive a happy new year text from a guy I have been seeing recently? It's a new thing, and pretty casual, but I worry it means it'll never go anywhere if he didn't even do that.

 

I suppose it depends on how often you text. If it's every day throughout the day, I bet he's just been busy or hungover (if he's into that kind of thing). If you don't text that often he might have just forgotten. I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe he's waiting for you to send him a Happy New Year text.

[varicose]

I think he's not as interested as you had hoped. Or perhaps he had another date for the evening.

 

When was the last time you two went out or communicated?

 

I don't think he went out with someone else, because he did ask about my own NY plans. Last time saw each other/talked was Friday.

[BaileyB]

Did you send him a happy new year text?

[varicose]

I think he's not as interested as you had hoped. Or perhaps he had another date for the evening.

 

When was the last time you two went out or communicated?

 

Did you send him a happy new year text?

 

No, because I don't want to chase him-- I initiated too much last week.

[ExpatInItaly]

If you do most the of reaching out, then it's normal you'd expect some reciprocation.

 

Out of curiosity, how did you respond when he asked what your NYE plans were?

[anonymousbear00101100]

No, because I don't want to chase him-- I initiated too much last week.

 

Ah the ol' first text problem. As a general rule, I wouldn't be afraid to send the first text, even if you do it often.

 

When I first started texting my now GF, she would always end up sending the first text in the morning. It was just the routine that kind of took place. I never thought she was chasing me, I was just relieved as hell to get a text from her.

 

But sometimes she wouldn't text me and I assumed she was was busy because she always texted first. As the day wore on I feared she was no longer interested.

 

Now we're dating. She once told me that she feared I didn't like her because I never texted her first, so sometimes she just wouldn't send me anything to see if I cared.

 

If he likes you, it doesn't matter who texts first and you won't seem clingy. I would be more cautious of how he interacts when you do text. Does he leave in the middle of a conversation? Does he ask questions and show genuine interest in the happenings of your life? Is he pushing the conversation forward?

[varicose]

If you do most the of reaching out, then it's normal you'd expect some reciprocation.

 

Out of curiosity, how did you respond when he asked what your NYE plans were?

 

I'd say it was about 50/50 last week, maybe slightly more me but that's a change.

 

I told him my plans. And I didn't ask back because I didn't want to get upset if he was going with someone else or just have info to make my mind wander. Convo moved elsewhere quickly after that.

[varicose]

Ah the ol' first text problem. As a general rule, I wouldn't be afraid to send the first text, even if you do it often.

 

When I first started texting my now GF, she would always end up sending the first text in the morning. It was just the routine that kind of took place. I never thought she was chasing me, I was just relieved as hell to get a text from her.

 

But sometimes she wouldn't text me and I assumed she was was busy because she always texted first. As the day wore on I feared she was no longer interested.

 

Now we're dating. She once told me that she feared I didn't like her because I never texted her first, so sometimes she just wouldn't send me anything to see if I cared.

 

If he likes you, it doesn't matter who texts first and you won't seem clingy. I would be more cautious of how he interacts when you do text. Does he leave in the middle of a conversation? Does he ask questions and show genuine interest in the happenings of your life? Is he pushing the conversation forward?

 

I totally understand, and in the past I have never been shy to initiate with casual OR serious love interests. I have my guard up a bit more than usual, don't want to pursue something that is doomed again.

 

Sometimes he is super talkative and sometimes he's less so, it really varies.

[joseb]

I'd say it was about 50/50 last week, maybe slightly more me but that's a change.

 

I told him my plans. And I didn't ask back because I didn't want to get upset if he was going with someone else or just have info to make my mind wander. Convo moved elsewhere quickly after that.

 

Maybe he was a little peeved you had plans to go with someone else, and also didn't even ask about his plans. That would be my guess.

[varicose]

Maybe he was a little peeved you had plans to go with someone else, and also didn't even ask about his plans. That would be my guess.

 

I really don't think that's the case with this guy. I'm pretty sure he knows I'm into him.

[ExpatInItaly]

I really don't think that's the case with this guy. I'm pretty sure he knows I'm into him.

 

That doesn't mean he won't be wondering why you didn't at least inquire about his plans.

 

In any case, see if he reaches out to you in the next couple days. It's hard to really make any assumptions if this is very new and has been casual thus far, but I would think a guy who is interested would at least send a New Year's greeting.

[Yaya0620]

Me either we had sex and he went on vacay the next day and he comes back today and i haven't heard from him since he left 4 days ago. ?

[varicose]

Me either we had sex and he went on vacay the next day and he comes back today and i haven't heard from him since he left 4 days ago. ?

 

If it makes you feel better, I think guys really are not that into these holidays and don't see the significance of a simple HNY text as much.

[dumbass2]

Any reason why you two couldn't have spent new years eve together? Did you guys even try?

[varicose]

Any reason why you two couldn't have spent new years eve together? Did you guys even try?

 

I didn't ask him to. I think it's kind of a new/casual relationship for that. Based on the infrequency of his contact (like every 3 days sometimes) I don't think he would want that from me.

[travelbug1996]

Why would you get involved in a casual situation like this? I'm sure you knew the holiday was coming up. Did you think to yourself "If I sleep with this guy (with no comittment) is it gonna bother me if he doesn't want me as his gf to spend holidays with"?

 

Stop sleeping with guys before they ask to be your man unless you can take remove your clothes and feelings at the same time.

 

He's over it imho. He's letting you know how important you are to him.

 

Lesson learned

[WitlessFool]

I'd say it was about 50/50 last week, maybe slightly more me but that's a change.

 

I told him my plans. And I didn't ask back because I didn't want to get upset if he was going with someone else or just have info to make my mind wander. Convo moved elsewhere quickly after that.

 

If I were him I'd think you weren't interested.

He asked what you were doing as he probably wanted to know if you wanted to do something with him.

 

And now you're not even saying Happy New Year. That was really lame.

[varicose]

If I were him I'd think you weren't interested.

He asked what you were doing as he probably wanted to know if you wanted to do something with him.

 

And now you're not even saying Happy New Year. That was really lame.

 

It was dumb of me not to ask back, but that was only to protect myself. But do you really think he could think I'm not interested? I've slept with him several times.

[varicose]

Why would you get involved in a casual situation like this? I'm sure you knew the holiday was coming up. Did you think to yourself "If I sleep with this guy (with no comittment) is it gonna bother me if he doesn't want me as his gf to spend holidays with"?

 

Stop sleeping with guys before they ask to be your man unless you can take remove your clothes and feelings at the same time.

 

He's over it imho. He's letting you know how important you are to him.

 

Lesson learned

 

I slept with him like a month ago because it felt right in the moment. The holidays were too far off. In the past when I've had that kind of intimacy with someone, it has led to a relationship. Which is why I felt it was safe.

[Space Ritual]

Varicose,

In my opinion you are overthinking this a bit and I say that because you yourself say your relationship is causal.

 

If you two were serious and the "exclusive talk" happened recently I could see this being a true issue, but you yourself have approached it in a bit of a casual fashion. You already informed him of what your plans were for NYE and if they didn't include him when you told him, so that probably gave him pause.

 

When you say you are pretty sure he knows you're into him....

 

well...maybe not so much.

 

Actions speak louder than words.

 

While you may assume he knows you are really into him, right now you can not be certain. Again, if he asked you your plans and they did not include him, I would say he probably does not have the same impression that you are into him.

 

Guys usually need to be bonked over the head when the courting dance begins. It's one thing to sleep with him but if you have exhibited to him that you want a NSA relationship he will probably take your lead.

 

So while I understand that you may feel like you want to guard your heart from getting hurt or moving too fast, sometimes in trying to take such precautions we end up doing ourselves a complete disservice to our actual desires by taking those precautions.

 

I seriously do not think he has as much an idea that you are into him as you think he does.

 

Again, we guys sometimes need to be bonked over the head when it comes to these matters. And Texts tend to not be able to accurately decipher actual tone behind what was sent 100 percent of the time.

 

So in that case I would advise you to contact him face to face as opposed to relying solely on text etiquette to arrive at your conclusions.

 

 

In short I am telling you don't bet the farm that he knows exactly how you feel.

 

Good Luck.

[fooloflove]

If he is interested he will persue, so just sit back and wait.

[varicose]

Varicose,

In my opinion you are overthinking this a bit and I say that because you yourself say your relationship is causal.

 

If you two were serious and the "exclusive talk" happened recently I could see this being a true issue, but you yourself have approached it in a bit of a casual fashion. You already informed him of what your plans were for NYE and if they didn't include him when you told him, so that probably gave him pause.

 

When you say you are pretty sure he knows you're into him....

 

well...maybe not so much.

 

Actions speak louder than words.

 

While you may assume he knows you are really into him, right now you can not be certain. Again, if he asked you your plans and they did not include him, I would say he probably does not have the same impression that you are into him.

 

Guys usually need to be bonked over the head when the courting dance begins. It's one thing to sleep with him but if you have exhibited to him that you want a NSA relationship he will probably take your lead.

 

So while I understand that you may feel like you want to guard your heart from getting hurt or moving too fast, sometimes in trying to take such precautions we end up doing ourselves a complete disservice to our actual desires by taking those precautions.

 

I seriously do not think he has as much an idea that you are into him as you think he does.

 

Again, we guys sometimes need to be bonked over the head when it comes to these matters. And Texts tend to not be able to accurately decipher actual tone behind what was sent 100 percent of the time.

 

So in that case I would advise you to contact him face to face as opposed to relying solely on text etiquette to arrive at your conclusions.

 

 

In short I am telling you don't bet the farm that he knows exactly how you feel.

 

Good Luck.

 

Thank you. I hope you're right about this just being a misunderstanding. I have definitely become more guarded since my last breakup. I like the guy, and slept with him after being so sure I wouldn't be with another guy for a LONG time. That's a credit to our chemistry I think. I will suck it up and talk to him in person next time.

[WitlessFool]

It was dumb of me not to ask back, but that was only to protect myself. But do you really think he could think I'm not interested? I've slept with him several times.

 

If you feel the need to "protect" yourself you should probably wait to sleep with someone then. I'm not the type of girl who can have sex and then be all casual about things. No pressure, not going to ask about his plans for NY, etc.

 

These are two separate issues though.

 

Maybe just step back a bit. Figure out what you want before you see him or text him.