I am not sure what is going on

[DooDaa]

Hi All,

 

For quite a while now I have been on "auto pilot"... Let me explain

 

For almost a year now I have been feeling like I have no purpose. I feel very lazy. I have no drive or passion for anything. I do not feel excited for anything I do anymore.

 

I also feel like i have no personality. Like as if my personality changes when I am around certain people.

 

I broke up with a girl almost a year ago. We were together for 5 years. Right now I wouldn't say I am over her completely as I am sure she is the one that got away. I am not interested in any relationships though.

 

In the beginning when we broke up, I picked up a lot of women when going out.. I still do now but I am just not interested. Talking to them seems like too much effort and I am too lazy for it - Part of this whole "rut" I am in now.

 

I find myself going to the pub whenever I am bored to see my mates. but I am even tired of doing that at the moment.

 

Nothing seems like fun anymore. I have completely no passion or drive for anything.

 

Any advise as what this could be ?

[elaine567]

Sounds like you maybe getting a bit depressed which is not uncommon in the circumstances.

See - Depression

[Satu]

Don't wait for the energy to come before you do something.

 

Do something, and then the energy will come.

 

 

Take care.

[thecrucible]

For almost a year now I have been feeling like I have no purpose. I feel very lazy. I have no drive or passion for anything. I do not feel excited for anything I do anymore.

 

I know how you feel. Are you a perfectionist by any chance? I am, and the reason I lose my passion sometimes is because I get overwhelmed by the feeling of an insurmountable goal to reach. It actually leads to inertia on my part. I lose confidence easily so it's hard to persevere. Is this you as well?

 

I think you have to makes small changes until you build up some momentum.You won't find your passion overnight but you'll start to feel a bit better at least by changing your routine. For me going for a run or swimming helped but everyone will have something. I also volunteer in my free time and that's so good for me because it really makes my day when I know I've helped make a difference to someone even in some small way.

 

A woman I know taught me a trick about tuning into your passions if you don't know what you are. She told me to think about times I've been angry about something I've seen or experienced and that will tell me what my values in life are. Then when I know my values I can think about living life in tune with those.

 

I also feel like i have no personality. Like as if my personality changes when I am around certain people.

 

You have to regain a sense of your own identity by developing different areas of your life. Perhaps draw up a list of what you think would make your life and start making some plans towards it. You can choose small goals to keep your motivation.

 

I broke up with a girl almost a year ago. We were together for 5 years. Right now I wouldn't say I am over her completely as I am sure she is the one that got away. I am not interested in any relationships though.

 

And that's okay! I think it's important to know that you don't have to give yourself permission to feel that way. Feeling that way is totally understandable after your break up.

 

In the beginning when we broke up, I picked up a lot of women when going out.. I still do now but I am just not interested. Talking to them seems like too much effort and I am too lazy for it - Part of this whole "rut" I am in now.

 

So does it feel like you are going through the motions? It sounds like you have got it out of your system and it's no longer enjoyable. I'd stop if I were you as there's no point in doing something you're not actually getting much out of. Playing the field a bit can make you feel a bit emotionally void. I think it's something people need to do to help with a break-up but after a while, I think it's just ultimately unsatisfying and you begin to appreciate the non-sexual ways of relating to the opposite sex. But don't let me be the judge of that. I'm just trying to intuit something from what I know or experienced.