Somehow I cannot get girls

[bloembol16]

So I had the feeling I needed to write everything down at this point and ask for help. It has been bothering a lot the last months and finally I came to the point of posting my problem online.

 

I'm 19 years old now and my problem is that I haven't kissed a girl in like 3 years. I do not know what I am doing wrong. I actually have a lot of friends and I'm going to clubs and parties every week. I also do not consider myself socially awkward with girls and most of the times I actually have great conversations with them, but somehow I never get to the point that is goes any further than a great conversation.

 

It confuses me because everyone around me is just kissing each other and then here I am, not even able to find any girl and start something. People have been questioning why I haven't kissed a girl and they also seem pretty surprised when I actually tell the truth.

 

I don't consider myself ugly and I'm in a quite good shape. I started working out last year but somehow it has not really paid off yet. A downside of my appearance might be my length (I'm 1.70m) but this obviously does not rule out all of the girls.

 

All of this just leaves me both confused and insecure. Why can other guys get girls? I have this friend who kisses a girl like every week and then there is me who has not kissed a girl in like 3 years now. I really want to change this but I do not know how. Any advice?

Edited January 2, 2017 by bloembol16

[Mysterio]

You have to give yourself a break. You can't start thinking something is really wrong with you. Not everyone gets to do everything in life. Be on Time or later in life.

 

 

If I were you. I would still work out. Try and find a reacreational activity that has women in it. Like Yoga/Martial Arts/Music. Talk to the women that are there. Be Casual and chill about it. Let them more come to you more, in terms of going out etc.

 

I think its better to be well rounded and have a interesting life outside of trying to date a woman. Than try to be on point and on time.

 

I guess if you really want to know to kiss. Join some sort of acting class with women. When it comes to romantic scenes. I guess you will get some exposure to kissing If they do that sort of thing. I would also stay away from Online dating.

 

Your 19. No 59. You have plenty of time to refine yourself. Good luck meeting a woman around your age that just wants to settle down. Until you are 30 or you really meet someone special. I think all guys should wait it out. There is no need for any man to rush into a relationship/marriage.

[LoveFiend]

So I had the feeling I needed to write everything down at this point and ask for help. It has been bothering a lot the last months and finally I came to the point of posting my problem online.

 

I'm 19 years old now and my problem is that I haven't kissed a girl in like 3 years. I do not know what I am doing wrong. I actually have a lot of friends and I'm going to clubs and parties every week. I also do not consider myself socially awkward with girls and most of the times I actually have great conversations with them, but somehow I never get to the point that is goes any further than a great conversation.

 

It confuses me because everyone around me is just kissing each other and then here I am, not even able to find any girl and start something. People have been questioning why I haven't kissed a girl and they also seem pretty surprised when I actually tell the truth.

 

I don't consider myself ugly and I'm in a quite good shape. I started working out last year but somehow it has not really paid off yet. A downside of my appearance might be my length (I'm 1.70m) but this obviously does not rule out all of the girls.

 

All of this just leaves me both confused and insecure. Why can other guys get girls? I have this friend who kisses a girl like every week and then there is me who has not kissed a girl in like 3 years now. I really want to change this but I do not know how. Any advice?

 

You know I was once like you until I just did the simple act of just making friends with lots of women and talking to them. The more you hang around women the more relaxed and confident you get asking them out.

 

One thing I found that really helped me a lot talk to a lot more women and feel more confident around them was to just go to bars and talk to them, talk to waitresses, talk to female co-workers, talk to classmates at college. I would talk to girls with out the intention of asking them out, my only objective was to get more comfortable talking to them and feeling more comfortable being around them. It is like driving a car with experience you get use to it a lot.

 

One thing I did to overcome shyness which I am sure some people may find offensive is I started going to decent gentlemen's clubs. I would go there simply to talk to the dancers and get their feedback how to be better with women, the advice and feedback I got helped a lot actually. Just paying for a dancers drinks and practicing conversation skills with the women helped me feel a lot more relaxed around women and confident. At first when I went to them dancers would not want to sit and talk to me because they said I was too shy and my quiet behavior made them nervous. So I got tips from them what about my behavior needed to change for women to feel more comfortable around me. It worked over-time more dancers felt more comfortable talking to me and I really improved my ability to communicate with women. This paid off because when I decided to enter the dating world again I was a lot more relaxed on dates, I could talk to women and was a much better conversationalist.

 

Now I can get a lot more dates than ever before, I developed a sense of humor that women like, I notice a definite improvement on dates with women's body language and can see they definitely feel a lot more comfortable around me.

 

Also being through two marriages also really helped a lot too overcome my shyness around women and it improved my success with women as well, my past two wives during the marriage really gave me great advice on what I was doing wrong and what to do and how to act around women. Like for example being more considerate and always thinking of the little things to please a woman, this goes a long way. Women are sensitive beings and get easily offended by things men tend to take for granted.

 

Another thing that helped me was I was being too picky and didn't realize it. Don't limit yourself by only wanting to date "your type" or women you find very attractive. I am white, almost 40 and about 5'4". I have been on dates with women as short as 4'11 and as tall as 5'11". I have been on dates with women super skinny and women who were overweight. I have been on dates with women younger than me and with women older than I am. I have dated white, black, latino, and asian girls. Widen your net and don't limit your options, you will have a lot more success getting dates this way. I got a lot better with woman and getting dates when I entered my 30's then when I was in my 20's and had better looks believe it or not.

 

I am only 5'4", I have been married twice, been on a lot of dates, just proposed to my new girlfriend who was a former co-worker of mine and she said "yes lets get married". If I can do it anyone can do it with enough confidence.

Edited January 2, 2017 by LoveFiend

[bloembol16]

Thanks for your reply's. Made me feel better. You all are right, I shouldn't rush too much since I'm only 19. I'll just keep on talking to girls and maybe sometime things will turn out great

[Sweetfish]

 

I also do not consider myself socially awkward with girls and most of the times I actually have great conversations with them, but somehow I never get to the point that is goes any further than a great

 

This right here is probably your problem.

 

If these conversations revolve around her problems.. this is the issue right here. In essence your being used as an emotional dumping grounds. If you didnt figure this out or i didnt point this out... i wonder how long it would take you to figure this out.

 

If your not taking these girls out or inviting them one on one and give them space to reflect on the good time they had with you... aka not be clingy or needy. Very rare it will escalate