queenie01 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Hi Everyone... I am feeling a little down today for some reason. My ex broke up with me on April 28 which is about 11 weeks ago. I honestly thought he was going to come back to me, that he would regret his decision etc...but he hasnt and that makes me so sad because i still love him so much. I decided a week ago to cut all ties, let him go and walk away..and its killing me inside. His bday is saturday and I am going to have the hardest time knowing I was suppose to be with him on that day and now im not even going to acknowledge it. Since i decided to give up and walk away i have been a bit more depressed then i was because i think deep down before i always had hope. I havent heard from him since July 7 and that was via email....and i havent seen him in over a week either. I changed my gym schedule to avoid seeing him etc.... Just wish this would start to get easier already....hes probably so happy and living life while im over here sad and thinking of him..ugh!! Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Queenie, I very much sympathize and am feeling quite blue as well. In the same situation as you with my ex. Each time I get the thought of touching base with her I start to think that it would only cause more hurt than good. Keep in mind that you are not the one at fault here, it is them that chooses to go in another direction. Do you really want to keep in touch with someone that chooses to not contact you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 You are right but i dont get these people... They contact you when its convenient for them?? Thats not fair either.... I am so curious as to if i will hear from my ex again via email down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 You probably will yet the fact you have not heard anything to date should show you where you rank on his list of priorities. That is a tough pill to swallow believe me yet it should tell you something. I for some reason am having a terrible day myself and am trying so hard to keep myself from breaking my promise that I would not contact her. I am actually getting sick of this BS! Relationships take work yet all this work just to get back into one seems a bit ridiculous . Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 Funny part is that my ex from a long time ago used to do the same thing to me, he would leave me be then resurface and email me something sooooo stupid but yet i would respond which to him meant he still had my attention. I asked him why he did that and he said he wanted to make sure i didnt move on completely and didnt date anyone else. He said he knew that if i responded i still cared which was SOO true. Now my current ex is doing the same thing....why cant they just leave well enough alone... Although maybe my current ex is....i havent heard from him in like 10 days now and the only way he usually contacts me is thru email... You are right relationships do take work..work from both parties not just one..its funny how they throw the towel in if its not exactly what they want. I think my ex is going to get a rude awakening...if he thinks the perfect relationship exists hes got another thing coming..unfortunately the "honeymoon" stage doesnt last forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Drivetildriven Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 You're damn right. My woman threw in the towel when our passion subsided. Then I got the "I love you, but i'm not in love with you anymore." It was the worst thing i've ever heard. I thought something much deeper replaced the honeymoon stage. Apparently she's the kind that when the novelty of a relationship wears off, she's gone. Our relationship wasn't boring, I kept that woman on her toes. I'm gonna toot my own horn here, but she'll never find someone as good as me. I opened almost every door for her since our first date over three years ago. And that was just one out of a thousand things I've done for her. I leave for war in November and I was going to ask her to be my wife when I got back. I still can't believe it. I don't know what happened to my sweetheart of more than three years. The person she has become, I don't recognize. Her personality has changed since she broke up with me May 28. I miss my baby doll, but she doesn't exist anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
YouGotServed Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Originally posted by Drivetildriven Her personality has changed since she broke up with me May 28. I miss my baby doll, but she doesn't exist anymore. The truth about that is very real Drive. Also, with response to Queenie's post, I agree with her too. My ex did the same exact thing to me, broke up about 4 months ago and she completely changed. 2 years into the relationship and she didn't love me anymore. What is that all about?. You seem so interested in a person and then later on it appears as if it was a game. I did the same exact things, open doors for 2 years, take her to nice restaurants, travel all the time, etc. How can someone not appreciate that?. Well, that just means that someone out there appreciates the person for who you are. Best thing is to keep with No Contact, that is the only way to get over someone. They always feel that it they have you strung up because they can contact you anytime they want to see how you feel. They don't understand how much it hurts to be broken-hearted and feelings which are left untold. Stay strong you Drive and Queenie! Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that they all will regret it!! Honest to God and if they dont then good riddens. Seriously... I will toot my own horn too and say that I gave my guy the world....cooked him dinners and got him surprises and all his favorite treats and then i get I love you on a thursday nite and its just not working out on friday..go figure. His reasoning "somethings missing" is a lame a$$ excuse, seriously. I think once their fun ends and they see how the dating pool is they may get a reality check but i am really hoping that I am not around once that does happen. Its so sad because my guy was the best..he convinced me to commit to him, he was WAY more into me in the beginning then i was into him, which is funny because thats what all the commitment phobia books say... Link to post Share on other sites
Drivetildriven Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 "I think once their fun ends and they see how the dating pool is they may get a reality check but i am really hoping that I am not around once that does happen." I could not agree more. Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Isn't this weird that you posted this yest and ran into him so much today???? Did he seem sad when yousaw him today? Or like he missed you? Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 Welcome to the club! It sucks at the beginning, but you'll get over, you'll see. broken hearts do heal. Enjoy the summer, go out with friends, read, have some time for yourself before your new love shows up... and he will, I assure you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 20, 2005 Author Share Posted July 20, 2005 The weirdest part of it all is that i had a dream the nite before that he came up to my cube at work and asked why i dont workout at 11 anymore and the dream was so real... then yesterday my dream came true, I ran into him several times and finally he iniated a conversation and he asked if i still workout downstairs... Little does he know I changed my schedule to avoid him but thats the honest to God truth... I cant handle seeing him and dont want to see him... My feelings for him are still so strong. When a relationship ends so abruptly as ours did its very hard for me to move on... I wish we didnt work together, it would that much easier to move on if i didnt have to walk on eggshells wondering if when i turn the corner he will be there. Well I hope he got the vibes i was giving off, basically that i want nothing to do with him...i didnt even want to talk to him in the elevator I hope one day he comes to the realization that what we had was awesome....but maybe he wont. I really dont know what he is looking for because seriously our relationship was awesome, just got a tad bit too routine. Link to post Share on other sites
YouGotServed Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 Originally posted by queenie01 I hope one day he comes to the realization that what we had was awesome....but maybe he wont. I really dont know what he is looking for because seriously our relationship was awesome, just got a tad bit too routine. Yes, that was the same way with my ex. She likes the choice of having "activities" in her life and probably felt that I was too much of a routine. They feel bored and begin to realize that they want someone who has more activities and is constantly doing something "fun". Blah! I am active and I like doing activities as well, but when you work 40+ hrs as week, sometimes you just want to lie down and take a break.... Link to post Share on other sites
Drivetildriven Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 With regard to people who do things that our ex's do, I think it all boils down to two things. They have issues and are immature. Everyone has issues, but a common thread among a lot of peoples' ex's on this site is that they just up a leave. Maybe it's boredom, the spark is gone, need space, need to figure out who they are, blah, blah, blah. Any reason under the sun. Issues and Immaturity. My ex woman was 24 going on 19. She even told me that most girls would think she was crazy for breaking up with me. I think she's right. Oh yes, for those that have been dumped, especially us fellas, the best CD I've ever heard is "Gasoline" by Theory of a Deadman. I downloaded mine from itunes.com, It was $7.99. Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 20, 2005 Author Share Posted July 20, 2005 I am with you on the immaturity issues....but like i have said before, i think most of them will regret it! My ex told me that i was the best girlfriend he ever had and that i did more for him then anyone... go figure!! Why the hell tell me this as you are breaking up with me, idiot!!!! Go ahead and try and find another girl to do all i did...you wont! Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 i havent seen my ex for almost 3 months as he lives in another country...so i cannot imagine the pain of working for the same company as him...hang in there queenie Link to post Share on other sites
YouGotServed Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 Originally posted by Drivetildriven With regard to people who do things that our ex's do, I think it all boils down to two things. They have issues and are immature. Everyone has issues, but a common thread among a lot of peoples' ex's on this site is that they just up a leave. Maybe it's boredom, the spark is gone, need space, need to figure out who they are, blah, blah, blah. Any reason under the sun. Issues and Immaturity. My ex woman was 24 going on 19. She even told me that most girls would think she was crazy for breaking up with me. I think she's right. Wow! We must have dated the same girl. My ex was 24 going on 19 as well. She told me the same exact things, boredom, needs space to explore, figure out what she wants, etc. etc. I would strongly agree with you, Inmaturity and Issues. I really think she lost a good thing in her life but in all honesty, who cares..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 21, 2005 Author Share Posted July 21, 2005 Oh but it gets better, last nite after work i went to ballys and of course he was there... I swear no matter what i cant get away from him. We literally walk in each others shadows. How sad is that???? Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 did you talk to him? did he see you? how did you handle it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 21, 2005 Author Share Posted July 21, 2005 No I was in a different row then him and i just walked by with my headphones on... Im sure he saw me, not to mention he had to have seen my car because he parked in the same row as me. Its just messed up because we should have been there together. Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 i know it must feel like such a waste...a waste of a wonderful relationship...when there is nothing you can do to make someone want you...the pain and frustration is excruciating....sigh Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 21, 2005 Author Share Posted July 21, 2005 Yes it sucks bigtime, I miss him and wish we could have been working out there together like we used to. Its sort of funny to me because both of us are still doing the same exact things we were doing before but now we are only alone instead of together and it really hurts my feelings because he made a comment recently that we were in a bad rut, he said we were worse then married couples... I resent that comment because thats not true and if thats how he felt he has a lot to learn.... Link to post Share on other sites
what456 Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Queenie, Guess who called me last night? My ex...i think that he called me twice before but I didn't pick up the phone. seeing as though i was mad at him, he called trying to act all nice and stuff....asking me if i was going to come to all the wedding functions, and what i was going to wear! like nothing happened.... one thing though, he always brings up the fact that he doesn't love me..which is wierd. i don't understand that seeing as though i never thought he did...but he still does...i know he is scared to love someone..but this is too much!!! anyways, queenie..don't feel blue....i am not going to feed in to his bull ****...but iwill keep you posted on what happened at the wedding....by the way, where are you from? Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 21, 2005 Author Share Posted July 21, 2005 How long ago did you guys break up?? Im from Chicago...how about you? Link to post Share on other sites
what456 Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 we broke up about a year and a half ago but always maintained contact over the phone i am in MD Link to post Share on other sites
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