Author queenie01 Posted July 21, 2005 Author Share Posted July 21, 2005 Well mine hasnt called me once, real nice guy huh? Funny part is that we didnt even end on bad terms, hell i still dont know why it ended. Had their been another girl it would have made a lot more sense to me...but now he is single and so am i yet we are still living the lives we lived together. I dont get men!!! His bday is saturday but i dont plan on acknowledging it....and i dont want to be that person but he really isnt worthy of my bday wishes.... he doesnt bother with me. I get an occasional email and thats it!! I would think if he cared about me at all, he would try harder. Link to post Share on other sites
what456 Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 honestly queenie, i am very much inlove with my ex. i made the mistake of asking him 3 times if he wanted to get back together but all three times he said no. i know he is scared..really scared and wants to play girls..but with me it's different. i have finally given up and i want to concentrate on myself. it's all about me now. and i think you should too... Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 21, 2005 Author Share Posted July 21, 2005 yeah its been almost 3 months now and i have held on to hope and responded to all his emails etc.. Im throwing the towel in now too and walking away. As much as it hurts me its just not worth the wait. I still love him but cant do this anymore. I have changed all my schedules to avoid running into him. Before he was getting all that he wanted....he would email me when he felt like it and i would respond then he would get to see me in the gym everyday. Not anymore...and if he does email me i am not planning on responding. And I also think he is expecting a text message or email on his bday but hes got another thing coming because hes not getting anything from me. Maybe then he will finally realize what he gave up. Link to post Share on other sites
Drivetildriven Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 I can't imagine running into my ex so often. I've only seen mine twice so far and both times, it puts me back to depression square one. I usually get online to check mail before bed. My ex used to get online to do the same thing at the same time. I could see her on my buddy list and it gave me a little comfort knowing that she was home and not spending the night with her new dude. Well, for the last week I haven't seen her online at all. So I did something I shouldn't have done tonight. On the way home from a movie with some friends, I drove past her house @ 10:30pm. She's always in bed by 10:30 because she gets up at 6:30 for work in the morning. My fear was right. Her car wasn't there. I would bet my life that she's spending the nights with her new man now, having sex, etc. So here I am, sitting on the floor in the pit of disparity. I'm so so so hurt that she could move on so quickly. I don't know what to do. We had so much together, I just can't believe she threw it all away. Oh God it sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 Wow I feel for you, but thats a definite sign for you to move on completely and dont look back. I dont think my ex is dating anyone because he told me he wasnt probably about 3 weeks ago but that doesnt mean he hasnt met anybody since then. His bday is tommorrow and I wanted so badly to be able to spend his bday with him and get him a nice gift but obviously thats not going to happen. I dont even think I am going to wish him a happy bday because what will it do for me. Talking to him sets me back so far....seeing him hurts me too! It really just sucks but today marks the 12 week mark and I know I have waiting long enough...time for me to really let go and walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen_Angel Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Originally posted by queenie01 I am with you on the immaturity issues....but like i have said before, i think most of them will regret it! My ex told me that i was the best girlfriend he ever had and that i did more for him then anyone... go figure!! Why the hell tell me this as you are breaking up with me, idiot!!!! Go ahead and try and find another girl to do all i did...you wont! Damn straight girl!!! Hopefully tomorrow will be one of many occasions where your ex will realize what he's given up by letting you go. Unfortunately having those feelings is only half the battle; he actually has to ADMIT it as well. Stupid stubborn jerks. Well, at least you get to keep the money you didn't spend on him, right? Treat yourself to something special! Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 Yeah but part of me is sad that i am not there to spend his bday with him : ( I think he expects me to acknowledge it in someway but I cant let myself do it...he would be getting the best of me that way. I have to be strong but i do feel bad... Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 as i've said before, it is the best thing to do in both instances, to just let tomorrow pass...it will be a big leap forward for you to ignore it... it may have the impact needed for him to sense he's really lost you...a far more dramatic effect than to offer him your love and affections on a plate once more... i havent heard from my ex since yesterday (an sms to check i'm not in london coz of the bombings)...he hasnt replied my wednesday emails...but its almost a relief not to get his emails because i feel somehow free-er of him, alone to make my own decisions again, without feeling he's part of them, muddling me up and mixing my emotions... Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen_Angel Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Don't feel bad. As you may or may not know, my ex forgot my birthday, so I definitely regret acknowledging his. Francis is right. Why offer yourself on a plate like that? Doing so only reinforces to him that he has you where he wants you, and will only make you feel worse. It's perfectly human to feel bad. This means you're a good person, you know? It takes a lot of strength and a lot of guts to take control of the situation, but that's the boat we're all in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 Well I know he wouldn’t forget my bday..he even emailed his past ex on her bday while he was dating me…but he told me about it. I guess I keep thinking in my head that I will blow all chances of any reconcilation if I don’t say happy bday…then I keep thinking what if his prior ex calls or texts him happy bday, is she the better person?? Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 NO NO NO NO she is not...get that out of your head If he is still thinking about you, he will be too worried that he hasnt heard from you to be angry... he's not stupid, he will understand why you dont contact him...because he ended your relationship...he will have NO RIGHT to be angry or upset at you for not acknowledging his birthday... it takes guts to let go, act like you dont care anymore and move on, be brave, we are all in similar situations here... dont contact him, you will be glad you didnt...he is not your boyfriend anymore, that was his choice and decision so he should not expect anything from you at the end of the day, it would seem the decent thing to do to be polite and wish someone happy birthday, but i'm just afraid that he will think you are a doormat, if he is well and truly over you...maybe its too soon to be friends, let him think what he likes, you are still hurting over him and longing for him back, the healthiest thing for you would be to concentrate on yourself, stop punishing yourself, dwelling on him and his birthday... Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 You really think he would be too worried to be mad…. If he didn’t acknowledge my bday I would be sooooo upset, I do know that! I guess you are right tho francis, if I do say happy bday he will think he can come and go as he pleases etc. I don’t want to be his friend, I have way to many feelings for him still to be friends. I guess will just walk away and forget it all. Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 his birthday will be the biggie, if he does still feel in his comfort zone whereby he could go back to you at any point, he is well and truly expecting to hear from you tomorrow... if you dont contact him, he will wonder why... for your own good, don't contact him... what do you have planned for tomorrow? Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 his birthday will be the biggie, if he does still feel in his comfort zone whereby he could go back to you at any point, he is well and truly expecting to hear from you tomorrow... if you dont contact him, he will wonder why... for your own good, don't contact him... what do you have planned for tomorrow? if he's upset, tough luck, he lost you, he misses out ok? NOT YOU... IT IS HIS LOSS... it's time to toughen up and start thinking he is the one who is missing out big time...coz you're fab! Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 awww thanks! I guess tommorrow will be the test because i do think he feels or at least felt he could get me back whenever he wanted to. Deep down inside i dont think he wants me back tho.. So sad i saw him at ballys total fitness the other nite, both of us were there and i just walked right by as i was leaving with my head phones on...it killed me because we used to go there every nite together after work. I know he saw me tho and i also know he knew i was there because he parked his car in the same aisle as me.... : ( I guess I really do have to start focusing on the fact that its his loss....i really did no wrong and i tried so hard to make him happy. Tommorrow I have nothing major planned, i want to go to a pool and layout all day and then I have a party to go to. Link to post Share on other sites
YouGotServed Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 Hang in there Queenie!. My ex's bday was this past Tuesday and I never wished or sent flowers. I used to in the past and spend time with her on her birthday. I admit that I thought about her, hoping that she will realize what she lost. But the truth is I wanted to call so badly but I just told myself, she doesn't love you or have feelings, why should I call?. It has been almost 4.5 months and still No Contact. You have to agree with Fallen_Angel because if you do show true feelings on his birthday, that means you are a better person. But, believe me, they probably don't realize their own feelings. Keep your chin up even though it will be hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Drivetildriven Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 4.5 months and your ex woman hasn't contacted you in any way? Also, my ex sent me a birthday card last month. There was not a drop of romantic thought in it. She said that "I was a great person whom she's glad she met." She's glad she met?? It's like we sat in class together once along time ago. It was nice of her to send, I guess. But it actually made me feel worse. Link to post Share on other sites
YouGotServed Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 Originally posted by Drivetildriven 4.5 months and your ex woman hasn't contacted you in any way? Yes, 4.5 months and all I hear from my friends is she does a lot of backstabbing. Talks alot of bad things about me!. Uhm, who was the one that broke it off?. She was the one and she continues to talk and talk and talk. What an inmature, selfish human being.... I treated her very well and never did anything to cause her to be upset. Just like I mentioned before, open car doors, take her to nice restaurants, watch movies, travel to many far away places, do the math.... Link to post Share on other sites
Drivetildriven Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 I swear, it's all bull shi t. Issues and immaturity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 25, 2005 Author Share Posted July 25, 2005 Well guys his bday came and went this past saturday and i have to admit that i feel absolutely terrible about not acknowledging it..... I am hoping that I dont run into him at work today.... Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 queenie, i am so proud of you, i think you did the right thing, i know it feels horrible right now, but you just made a massive step in moving on with your life... stay strong... you CANNOT feel bad about this...he ended your relationship remember? he's made your life a misery for the past three months...its time to stop letting him make you feel bad.... please give yourself a break, you dont deserve to suffer anymore...stop feeling guilty and in a way, it was just his birthday... Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 25, 2005 Author Share Posted July 25, 2005 I know you are right francis, i guess i just cant come to the realization that he just doesnt care about me. I find it sooo hard to believe. I feel like a jerk for not even sending him a simple text or email too...but i know it was best for me because otherwise i would have opened the line of communication again. I just cant believe its been 3 months and still no regret on his end...he has definitely shocked me and i now know he isnt the person i thought he was. Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 believe me queenie, i know exactly how you feel... accepting they no longer care leaves me in disbelief...its excruciating... you are not a bad person, this is for self-preservation, protect yourself and dont open yourself up for fresh hurt from this guy... you're not a jerk...i repeat, you are not a jerk... take care of yourself queenie...you are not alone Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 25, 2005 Author Share Posted July 25, 2005 Thanks Francis...i appreciate the support. I just pray that i make it thru this day let alone this week without running into him!!! Link to post Share on other sites
sundrop Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Well Queenie, You did the right thing. I sent my ex a Bday Card. (his birthday was yesterday) and deep down I was hoping I would hear a peep. No text maessage or anything, not even a little Thank you. and I was hoping I would hear a little something. I know you feel bad for not saying happy birthday to him, but in the long run you did the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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