VeveCakes Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 Are you still an attractive woman? Or have you packed on the pounds and inches since you got married? Do you take care of yourself or have you neglected your appearance? Why was he attracted to you but no longer is? Are your health and/or depression issues affecting his desire for you? of course it's her fault right He probably has no libido from sitting on a computer all night.... aMguilts, careful you might hurt my feelings... And yes, sex is important. Sex does not have to equal love but Romantic love, need to include sex... yeah, no sex, no marriage. It's pretty simple. Without sex, you're just good friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Whitestar Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 of course it's her fault right He probably has no libido from sitting on a computer all night.... yeah, no sex, no marriage. It's pretty simple. Without sex, you're just good friends. What if you are married to someone and one one of you becomes disabled and incapable of sex? Should the healthy partner walk away because the marriage is now over ? Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 What if you are married to someone and one one of you becomes disabled and incapable of sex? Should the healthy partner walk away because the marriage is now over ? not at all...but you would discuss it and if you have a loving and willing partner, come up with ways to deal with it. That is the difference here. No effort on his part. Some people can not live without it, and I wouldn't blame them one bit for wanting out of that marriage or then having an open marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 I have absolutely no interest in saving this marriage. It's already over for me emotionally and physically. It's just hard to get out. You are just going to have to put your big girl panties on and just say, "I want a divorce". There is no easy way to do it. You know this! Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 There is no use trying to save a marriage with a man who is not interested in having any kind of connection with me other than to use me as an armpiece in front of his friends and as a way to share expenses. A man with whom I share no interests except a couple of TV shows. A man who has insulted my beliefs, spirituality, and tastes. A man who puts himself first, his friends second, and me third. A man who would rather spend weekends on his computer than doing something with his wife. A man who claims to have no time for marriage counseling. Save the marriage? Uh, no. I'm over it and ready to move on. It's just a bit scary, so that's why I'm here. To seek advice and support. We completely understand. I like the idea of you moving out and having him served with divorce papers. That would be the easy way; however I would tell him face to face because I believe a spouse at least deserves that. Like I said before there is no easy way to do this that won't make you feel somewhat guilty. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 Jersey born raised, I'm just not the kind of person who would have an affair behind my husband's back. I couldn't live with that kind of dishonesty in myself. That doesn't make me a hero. Maybe a bit old fashioned, but I'd like to think there are a lot of other women out there who aren't cheaters, either. And no, we do not have kids. Thank God you don't have kids. That should make your move much faster and easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annaliese Posted January 10, 2017 Author Share Posted January 10, 2017 of course it's her fault right He probably has no libido from sitting on a computer all night.... Thank you! I can't believe someone would blame me for the failing marriage based on my looks!!! That is so far off base it's ridiculous. I am not attracted to him anymore because his personality has made himself unattractive to me. As far as the sex goes, I really don't have an answer for why is he is the way he is. It could very well have to do with his libido at his age (mid-50s). But he doesn't seem to care and neither do I. It's not a matter of why things have turned out this way anymore. This is how it is and I need to move on. That's all. Neither of us can afford our place and the lease won't be up till the end of the year, so there's no choice other than sticking it out till then. In the meantime, I'm paying down my bills and making plans. Link to post Share on other sites
Fdb Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Get out the marriage is pretty hard. We just have one life, seems very reasonable to pursuit our own happiness. Some people born to be selfish, self centered, no one can change that since they do not it is not right. Good luck with the future! Link to post Share on other sites
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