What happened?

[Jesvaighn1984]

I've been communicating with a co-worker long distance for over a year. I thought we were really connecting. We talked for hours a day about everything and texted at times. We never discussed any romantic feelings, but I felt we were progressing into that territory.

 

We had a company conference in December. About a week before the conference he became really distant. We talked a good bit at the conference, and I often caught him staring at me often. But he was also somewhat aloof. He would start to sit beside me then at the last minute sit elsewhere. When he did sit beside me our legs were pressed firmly together. We shared a ride back to the airport together, but it was idle chit chat and he didn't make eye contact. We stopped at a local tourist spot and that went well, but no contact or expressing feelings. When we each returned to our respective homes we texted a few times and had an hour long talk once. Our last work day before Christmas we chit chatted, but not the same as before. I sent him a message before the holiday thanking him for all our talks and told him they meant a great deal to me. I thanked him for not just being great to work with this year, but also for being a great friend. Haven't heard from him since. No reply, nothing.

 

Will return to work tomorrow and not sure what to think. We will be together again at the end of January. Was he just nervous as we are both inexperienced with relationships or completely uninterested? Any suggestions on gently nudging without scaring him away? We were talking hours a day, multiple times a week prior to Thanksgiving and now I feel completely shutout...no explanation. He was always a bit more flirty than me, mainly because I'm horrible at flirting. However I thought I was showing interest and he was sharing it.

 

Thoughts or suggestions greatly appreciated as I would like our next meeting to be much better and maybe end with at least a kiss.

[Brittybritt92]

What he was doing and what you interpreted it as may have been completely different.

 

Just an FYI, not all guys have it together and know how to act around the opposite sex. It's sad I know...

 

He may have just been looking for a texting buddy, and then when he actually saw you at the conference, felt pressure to do something more. Some people are just looking for someone to talk to at night when they have nothing to do.. not saying it's for sure but it's a possibility from what you said.

 

If you guys took a cab home together, he could have easily made a move to take you out to dinner or even back to his place if you were both into it, it's silly that he wouldn't even make eye contact. It's also unfortunately a sign of lack of interest (and maturity!!!).

 

You have to remember that this is NOT from anything you did. He was playing texting games and then when it got real he got weird, that's entirely on him.

 

When you're texting someone next time, arrange for a phone call, and date...within that month at most. If he is just idly chatting away for a year, he's wasting your time. Unless you actually just enjoyed the conversations, but it sounds like you were hoping for more and those hopes got crushed. It happens to the best of us.

 

Best of luck to you