We've been talking for almost three weeks [UPDATED how to keeep texting flowing?]

[amkxoxo]

So I met someone, but I’m not entirely sure what to think yet.

 

So for my job, I am very active on Facebook. Recently, a guy I went to school with messaged me to talk about starting a group on facebook, for alumni of our university to connect with each other, to help each other. I liked the idea and was on board right away. I am now helping run the group. An alumni I did not know from the group added me as a friend on facebook. I checked out his profile, and since I confirmed he did go to my school, I accepted his friend request. A week or so later, he messaged me on facebook. He commended me on running the group and how it was a great idea. We started talking more and more. He graduated two years before me. Ironically we were both in the same major and minor, and we probably saw each other a million times. Another irony was that he also worked his first real job after graduation in my home town where my parents live, at a place I knew very well and have been too a few times.

 

Everything about this guy seems great. He’s cute, funny, smart. Because of my past with guys I’ve had to chase, I’ve learned to sit back and let them do the chasing. So far, this guy has been doing really well. I’m 24 and he’s 26, so I’m hoping he’s matured a bit.

 

Week 1 of talking I was home sick with the flu. He texted me every single day around the same time to talk. No late night booty call texts. Nice after dinner chatting into the night. We would text back and forth for hours. Week 2 was Christmas, and I was travelling with my family. His daily texting continued. He flirts with me and makes suggestive comments about us meeting. We joke about being cat-fished by each other. I am now home, back at work, and he knows this, but he has yet to make plans with me. He still texts me every day. We talk for hours. We flirt. He compliments me. He seems interested. I am too. But I’m skeptical now, since it’s going on week three.

 

Another issue is his lifestyle. He and I are only in the vicinity of each other for a short time. I live here. His family lives here too. So he’s from here. His big issue is that he’s visiting until the end of January only. He goes to graduate school 5 hours from here, and will be going back at the end of this month. I had hope, since summer is time off from school and he would most likely be coming back here, but he’s not. He is staying 5 hours away this summer to coach a semi-pro soccer team. They travel all over the country for games. He says he’s constantly on a bus and on the move every single day.

 

I’m worried he is only talking to me so he has a hookup while he’s in this area, but at the same time he hasn’t been actively trying to see me in person to hookup like most guys would. He seems to be putting a lot of genuine effort in. I mean, he texted me all night on Christmas and New Years. He’s texted me when he’s had guys nights with friends. Who texts a girl when they are hanging out with their guy friends?

 

He seems to be spending all of his time here with his family, which I love and appreciate. I’m very family oriented myself.

 

I worry that his summer travelling, which he has been doing for the last few years, is him travelling and hooking up with girls in every city. He claims it’s not, but men are men. I’ve been trying to stay distant and see where things go, but I’m starting to like him since we talk every day for a long time. I’m afraid I will get attached and he will leave and not care. I want for him to be genuine, because he seems like such a nice person. A perfect person for me. I’m shy and not an aggressive person. I always need someone to push me and he does. He seems very confident and forward, in a good way. Someone that can take control and push me.

 

Part of me wonders if he doesn’t have a lot of chance to meet girls, since his life seems so crazy busy. So maybe him facebooking me was him trying to get out there. Heck, he could be talking to 5 other girls and I wouldn’t know. But he seems to be texting me an awful lot, and I don’t think I could juggle multiple people at our pace.

 

He’s very flirtatious. He keeps hinting to us meeting or him coming to my house or me to his house. He likes to joke around, so I don’t know how serious he is. Just last night we were joking about a compliment he gave me to be about a 7 out of 10. Then he tried something else to get to 8. And something else to get to 9. Then we were joking about him getting to 10 and how he would do it. He said he didn’t want to rush perfection and he had lots of good ideas.

 

But now it’s to the point where we should probably meet and we still haven’t. I’m waiting to be asked out or for a grand gesture.

 

I’ve been waiting for him to ask me out on a date, but he isn’t yet. Part of me is terrified that when he meets me in person, he won’t like me as much. But I keep trying to remind myself that he saw my facebook pictures. I look the same in person, so he must have liked something. Another good thing is that his facebook isn’t covered in pictures of him and other woman or comments from other woman. It’s a lot of soccer and just him and family, which is nice.

 

I don’t know what to think of this situation? Any thoughts?

[heavenonearth]

So I met someone, but I’m not entirely sure what to think yet.

 

So for my job, I am very active on Facebook. Recently, a guy I went to school with messaged me to talk about starting a group on facebook, for alumni of our university to connect with each other, to help each other. I liked the idea and was on board right away. I am now helping run the group. An alumni I did not know from the group added me as a friend on facebook. I checked out his profile, and since I confirmed he did go to my school, I accepted his friend request. A week or so later, he messaged me on facebook. He commended me on running the group and how it was a great idea. We started talking more and more. He graduated two years before me. Ironically we were both in the same major and minor, and we probably saw each other a million times. Another irony was that he also worked his first real job after graduation in my home town where my parents live, at a place I knew very well and have been too a few times.

 

Everything about this guy seems great. He’s cute, funny, smart. Because of my past with guys I’ve had to chase, I’ve learned to sit back and let them do the chasing. So far, this guy has been doing really well. I’m 24 and he’s 26, so I’m hoping he’s matured a bit.

 

Week 1 of talking I was home sick with the flu. He texted me every single day around the same time to talk. No late night booty call texts. Nice after dinner chatting into the night. We would text back and forth for hours. Week 2 was Christmas, and I was travelling with my family. His daily texting continued. He flirts with me and makes suggestive comments about us meeting. We joke about being cat-fished by each other. I am now home, back at work, and he knows this, but he has yet to make plans with me. He still texts me every day. We talk for hours. We flirt. He compliments me. He seems interested. I am too. But I’m skeptical now, since it’s going on week three.

 

Another issue is his lifestyle. He and I are only in the vicinity of each other for a short time. I live here. His family lives here too. So he’s from here. His big issue is that he’s visiting until the end of January only. He goes to graduate school 5 hours from here, and will be going back at the end of this month. I had hope, since summer is time off from school and he would most likely be coming back here, but he’s not. He is staying 5 hours away this summer to coach a semi-pro soccer team. They travel all over the country for games. He says he’s constantly on a bus and on the move every single day.

 

I’m worried he is only talking to me so he has a hookup while he’s in this area, but at the same time he hasn’t been actively trying to see me in person to hookup like most guys would. He seems to be putting a lot of genuine effort in. I mean, he texted me all night on Christmas and New Years. He’s texted me when he’s had guys nights with friends. Who texts a girl when they are hanging out with their guy friends?

 

He seems to be spending all of his time here with his family, which I love and appreciate. I’m very family oriented myself.

 

I worry that his summer travelling, which he has been doing for the last few years, is him travelling and hooking up with girls in every city. He claims it’s not, but men are men. I’ve been trying to stay distant and see where things go, but I’m starting to like him since we talk every day for a long time. I’m afraid I will get attached and he will leave and not care. I want for him to be genuine, because he seems like such a nice person. A perfect person for me. I’m shy and not an aggressive person. I always need someone to push me and he does. He seems very confident and forward, in a good way. Someone that can take control and push me.

 

Part of me wonders if he doesn’t have a lot of chance to meet girls, since his life seems so crazy busy. So maybe him facebooking me was him trying to get out there. Heck, he could be talking to 5 other girls and I wouldn’t know. But he seems to be texting me an awful lot, and I don’t think I could juggle multiple people at our pace.

 

He’s very flirtatious. He keeps hinting to us meeting or him coming to my house or me to his house. He likes to joke around, so I don’t know how serious he is. Just last night we were joking about a compliment he gave me to be about a 7 out of 10. Then he tried something else to get to 8. And something else to get to 9. Then we were joking about him getting to 10 and how he would do it. He said he didn’t want to rush perfection and he had lots of good ideas.

 

But now it’s to the point where we should probably meet and we still haven’t. I’m waiting to be asked out or for a grand gesture.

 

I’ve been waiting for him to ask me out on a date, but he isn’t yet. Part of me is terrified that when he meets me in person, he won’t like me as much. But I keep trying to remind myself that he saw my facebook pictures. I look the same in person, so he must have liked something. Another good thing is that his facebook isn’t covered in pictures of him and other woman or comments from other woman. It’s a lot of soccer and just him and family, which is nice.

 

I don’t know what to think of this situation? Any thoughts?

 

 

First off, it's been 3 weeks!!! Oh my god, how can you already think of all this detail after just 3 weeks! That's like, no time at all. You need to take a few steps backwards. Especially that one sentence I put in bold in the quote: Did you ask him if he was hooking up with girls in other cities? That's a pretty upfront thing to ask a guy if you haven't even met him himself. You say 'he claims' ... You are talking as if he was your boyfriend already and you are jealously nagging him. So far you are only talking via text, yes?! Please, reevaluate.

 

Secondly, facebook doesn't need to be a strong indicator for anything. i once dated a guy who had no weird photos with other girls, mostly just him and dude friends traveling, or with family, but he ended up being one of the biggest machos who flirted with every chick there could be.

 

All of what I am saying is, you can't make all these assumptions based on three weeks of texting and some facebook... This is not really healthy. Be upfront with him, stop worrying so much or questioning intent.

 

From what you wrote, it seems he is enjoying conversation, but it doesnt seem he is making any moves toward wanting to seriously date you. I know plenty of guys who are online who text with many many girls at the same time.

 

That being said, I am almost 100% sure that he is not thinking so deeply about this as you are, unfortunately. He is putting his career plans first - which is not a bad thing, but you will have to expect that from a guy in his mid-20s. Most guys I have dated did not know what they really wanted out of a relationship, let alone life, before they turned 30. I think most men are finding themselves between 30-35, some even later. That's just how it is these days. Women are changing too. Not everyone is looking for a partner to maintain status quo social norms or being financially taken care of, we have become more independent.

And as sexual beings, we like to keep our options open for as long as possible.

 

That's how I see it.

 

In short: I would not count too much about a possible future with this guy. Do your own thing, keep dating around, figure out what you want and find a person who wants the same, and you can trust me, you will know when that person comes along, because they will make sure you know it.

 

However, there is a chance you and this guy may actually go on a date and have a good time, but nobody said you can't have a good time with someone without spending the rest of your lives with each other.

 

Good luck.

[Kelley]

Life is short, just ask him out for a coffee or a walk in the park, anything and see what he is like in person. The worst that can happen is he can say no, and you will have your answer. It's been 3 weeks, if you are looking for a texting buddy, keep texting, if you want to see if it could go further ask him on that date. It's modern times, strong women don't need to wait to be asked, just ask and see what happens, you are over thinking now, time to take action!

[amkxoxo]

Thanks for both of your responses. I found it really helpful. I think I am being a little bit obsessive and I've realized that I need to step back and let things flow a little more.

 

Part of me, I think, feels pressure that he is leaving and going back to school at the end of the month, so feels the need to rush, when I shouldn't do that.

 

Another part of me is sort of freaked out by us talking for three weeks and me not even knowing what he looks like in person. He talks to me everyday. I've been letting him get to know me and telling him about myself, someone I've never met.

 

I think I am also terrified. I'm putting myself out there. I'm not one to give up. We could text all month long and I'd still just text him. But it would eventually break my heart.

 

I have a lot of issues leftover from a guy I was on and off with for three years. He strung me along and I stayed around for him. He would leave the area and come back. I was always rushing trying to see him and speed things along before he would leave again. He would act interested and then ghost me. He played with me over and over again. I was on a roller coaster ride constantly. I grew depressed. I would hint to him and I getting together and he would change the subject or tell me to plan every thing myself and he would just show up.

 

 

This new guy flirts heavily with me nightly. He's nice, confident, cute, and funny. He intimidates shy me. He may just want to sleep with me, which I'm not down for. But I think part of me feels if I meet him in person, then I will know for sure if something will emerge or if it will end right there.

 

He texted me again tonight like clockwork. We chatted. For weeks now he keeps joking with me that he is going to show up at my work or my house. Though he doesn't know where I live. Then he jokes that "when you invite me over your house"

 

I joke back telling him that I don't invite strange men I've never met over my house. We've had this joking flirtation conversation many times.

 

The same conversation happened again tonight. I said that same thing back to him. He then said "yes, you've mentioned that a few times. We can fix that. How about thursday night?"

 

I was shocked. I didn't mean to rope him into meeting me. I like to be pursued after what I went through chasing my ex constantly. I am nervous now he felt pressured. But then part of me thinks of my ex and all the times I hinted to him that I wanted to go out together and how he changed the subject, didn't answer, or just ignored it altogether. This guy didn't do that. If he didn't want to see me he would have probably been the same way as my ex. My ex couldn't even give me a time or day for anything, because he didn't care. This guy named a day, which was nice. He told me tomorrow we would finalize the plans.

 

I'm happy, nervous, excited, wanting to vomit

 

What if he doesn't like me? What if we have talked so much that we have nothing to talk about? What if I go all bowl of jello on him and freeze up with nerves. Sometimes I get super shy, passive, and mellow around guys I like. I feel 21 again.

 

I need to show him the smart, witty, cute 24 year old woman that I am.

Edited January 4, 2017 by amkxoxo

[Kelley]

Just be yourself and don't put too much pressure on things either. It's just going out, have some fun and don't take it too seriously. If he doesn't like you in person, so what there are other guys out there! You may not like him that much when you spend time, who knows! Just enjoy the time and see what happens.

[hippychick3]

Thanks for both of your responses. I found it really helpful. I think I am being a little bit obsessive and I've realized that I need to step back and let things flow a little more.

 

Part of me, I think, feels pressure that he is leaving and going back to school at the end of the month, so feels the need to rush, when I shouldn't do that.

 

Another part of me is sort of freaked out by us talking for three weeks and me not even knowing what he looks like in person. He talks to me everyday. I've been letting him get to know me and telling him about myself, someone I've never met.

 

I think I am also terrified. I'm putting myself out there. I'm not one to give up. We could text all month long and I'd still just text him. But it would eventually break my heart.

 

I have a lot of issues leftover from a guy I was on and off with for three years. He strung me along and I stayed around for him. He would leave the area and come back. I was always rushing trying to see him and speed things along before he would leave again. He would act interested and then ghost me. He played with me over and over again. I was on a roller coaster ride constantly. I grew depressed. I would hint to him and I getting together and he would change the subject or tell me to plan every thing myself and he would just show up.

 

 

This new guy flirts heavily with me nightly. He's nice, confident, cute, and funny. He intimidates shy me. He may just want to sleep with me, which I'm not down for. But I think part of me feels if I meet him in person, then I will know for sure if something will emerge or if it will end right there.

 

He texted me again tonight like clockwork. We chatted. For weeks now he keeps joking with me that he is going to show up at my work or my house. Though he doesn't know where I live. Then he jokes that "when you invite me over your house"

 

I joke back telling him that I don't invite strange men I've never met over my house. We've had this joking flirtation conversation many times.

 

The same conversation happened again tonight. I said that same thing back to him. He then said "yes, you've mentioned that a few times. We can fix that. How about thursday night?"

 

I was shocked. I didn't mean to rope him into meeting me. I like to be pursued after what I went through chasing my ex constantly. I am nervous now he felt pressured. But then part of me thinks of my ex and all the times I hinted to him that I wanted to go out together and how he changed the subject, didn't answer, or just ignored it altogether. This guy didn't do that. If he didn't want to see me he would have probably been the same way as my ex. My ex couldn't even give me a time or day for anything, because he didn't care. This guy named a day, which was nice. He told me tomorrow we would finalize the plans.

 

I'm happy, nervous, excited, wanting to vomit

 

What if he doesn't like me? What if we have talked so much that we have nothing to talk about? What if I go all bowl of jello on him and freeze up with nerves. Sometimes I get super shy, passive, and mellow around guys I like. I feel 21 again.

 

I need to show him the smart, witty, cute 24 year old woman that I am.

 

There is nothing wrong with saying you want to meet. It's frankly a waste of time to continue to text and form an attachment (which is what you're doing) before actually meeting. Being forward about that is not the same as chasing a guy. When I was online dating and the guy texted too long, I made it clear that I preferred to meet as soon as possible rather than continue to text someone with whom there may be no chemistry in real life. My current bf included. After texting and talking on the phone for a day or two, I told him I would like to meet in person as soon as possible to see if there was a real life connection. Once we met, I let him take the lead and initiate everything. I was not and am not a chaser and have never been perceived that way.

 

And, instead of focusing on whether or not he will like you, focus on whether or not you'll like him and if he will measure up to your expectations. Go into observation/evaluation mode. He has to impress you as much as you want to impress him.

[Gloria25]

Life is short, just ask him out for a coffee or a walk in the park, anything and see what he is like in person. The worst that can happen is he can say no, and you will have your answer. It's been 3 weeks, if you are looking for a texting buddy, keep texting, if you want to see if it could go further ask him on that date. It's modern times, strong women don't need to wait to be asked, just ask and see what happens, you are over thinking now, time to take action!

 

 

Yea, but just ask once. Time to call the meeting to order and jump out of being his "text buddy".

 

I don't know, for me there's a window of opportunity to "connect" with someone, you miss that window and become friendzoned.

[hippychick3]

One more thing...when I first started online dating, there were a couple guys who I thought were the ONE based on our amazing text conversations and phone calls. One in particular seemed perfect in every way and we connected so well in all our conversations we had over the 2 week period before we met. I saw some pictures of him and he seemed like my type. I couldn't wait to meet him and just knew we would hit it off.

 

Well, let me tell you...as soon as I met this man who I had talked on the phone with and texted with every single day for hours and thought was my SOULMATE, I realized I was not the least bit attracted to him in person. He was the same person in his pictures but bigger and harder looking. His demeanor came across as a bit condescending and controlling. There was not only no chemistry on my end (he ended up liking me and wanting to go out again), there was almost a repulsion for him based on his mannerisms and controlling comments. It was a very awkward date for me, and I couldn't wait to go home.

 

That experience was a huge lesson for me and it completely changed the way I approached online dating. Always meet in person within a few days of talking to someone from online (if you sense there could be a connection) and never get attached to anyone you haven't met yet.

[amkxoxo]

Thanks for all of your responses. I'm trying not to get my hopes up. Its really hard.

 

From his pictures he's very attractive and it makes me nervous. Not that I am not attractive, but I am very humble and not a showy person, which I've told this guy. He's also very confident, which intimidates me and almost makes him seem even more attractive to me. I think I am sitting here already putting him on a pedestal, when I haven't even met him yet.

 

I keep trying to remember that

1. He's leaving

2. We may not like each other in person

3. Chill out

 

I haven't felt this giddy since my ex and I started dating. And he ended up being a not good person that I stuck around with for way too long. I don't want to get hung up on this guy and then get let down. I think I'm already having all these expectations, since our conversations have gone so well. I need to step back, breathe, and remember I am a great asset. I am nice, sweet, kind, cute, and intelligent. I have a lot to offer, and he should be trying to impress me, not the other way around.

[amkxoxo]

He's texting me again tonight, as always. But now he is saying he is pretty sick and we can't hangout tomorrow. I'm pretty bummed. I don't know if he is really sick or not, but either way, I guess I'm disappointed and not sure what to think.

[winny]

Dont text with him so much if he isnt asking you out.

[hippychick3]

He's texting me again tonight, as always. But now he is saying he is pretty sick and we can't hangout tomorrow. I'm pretty bummed. I don't know if he is really sick or not, but either way, I guess I'm disappointed and not sure what to think.

 

You need to move on. This guy is wasting your time.

[Grey40]

This thread proves that girls don't care if a guy texts them everyday. Why does everyone say to not text? Seems like this girl likes the fact that he texts her everyday

[winny]

This thread proves that girls don't care if a guy texts them everyday. Why does everyone say to not text? Seems like this girl likes the fact that he texts her everyday

 

All words and no actions for 3 weeks - red flag!!!

[amkxoxo]

I am trying to be patient. I always assume the worst, because I've had guys tell me all sorts of things before.

 

We texted back and forth for a long while per usual. I do like that he initiates texting me everyday and asking how I am. Its nice for someone to care and to be considered in someone time. He mentioned that he would see how he feels tomorrow and maybe we can still hangout, and if not hopefully Friday. The fact that he is actually giving me some solid days is more than what other men have done, so it shows some promise. I feel bad writing him off as wasting my time if he is indeed sick. I think, I will wait and see, and give it one more week chance. If we haven't made any solid plans. If he doesn't ask me out within a weeks time, I think I'm going to give up and he is wasting my time.

[amkxoxo]

I’ve already posted a conversation explaining a situation I am in with a new guy in my life. The short version is that we went to the same college, but never met. He saw me on a college facebook page a few weeks ago and he added me as a friend. I accepted and he started talking to me. He asked for my number so we could text. We’ve now been talking for three weeks. One week I had the flu so was out of commission, another week was Christmas and I was travelling with family. Now that I am back in his area, we have tried making plans which he picked a day and time, but now he has the flu, so we had to cancel until he feels better. So I’ve never met this guy in person, but am anxious and nervous to. He took the liberty and started adding me on other social media platforms. I didn’t say or do anything to make him want to. I thought this was a good sign. He wanted to see my social media, not just facebook and he went searching for me.

 

Through texting, he seems really nice, smart, cute, and things just overall seem good with him. He seems to pursue me, which is nice. He texts me every night like clockwork and we talk for hours. He always asks how my day was. It’s nice to have someone care. My most recent problem is I think we are running out of things to talk about. I think it’s been so long of us texting that its due time we meet to get to know each other better in person, also to generate conversation later on. We texted last night per usual, but an unusual part was I felt myself trying to come up with interesting things to say and questions to ask him. I haven’t struggled too hard up until this point. This was the first time I really had to think and try. He is very flirtatious. So I tried being flirtatious last night, but it only got me a few good texts and then, I would have to try and move things along more. He wasn’t giving me a lot to work with, so it was hard. I felt when I was saying suggestive flirty things, he responded right away. But when I was asking him about how long he’s played soccer and about his favorite beer, he took a little longer to respond. And when he did respond, he just answered me. I didn’t have much to go off of with just his answer, so I had to try hard to keep it going.

 

He’s very confident and he makes me nervous. I’m very shy. I like that he is confident and not afraid to take charge. I like that in my life, since I can be passive. It’s a good balance.

 

I think I am starting to get too attached to him and I’m starting to place him on a pedestal as this amazing person. I keep trying to remind myself that I haven’t met him yet so I don’t know if he’s great or not. We may not hit not off in person, but I’d be disappointed if we didn’t. I think I’m getting too paranoid now at impressing him that I am overly trying. This has gotten me into trouble in the past with guys, because they then sit back and let me do all the work, and I get used. I mean this guy texted me for hours on Christmas and New Year’s, so that’s pretty dedicated to me. I think I’m scared of the night when I don’t hear from him. And I’m also afraid he will find me boring or lame if I have nothing to say. I attributed last night’s slow conversation to him being busy and sick. He didn’t feel well and he was doing homework. It was weird. He asked me a question, and I answered him. My answer should have prompted him to follow up. But I didn’t hear from him for over an hour. Then I finally was going to bed so I told him goodnight, as we always do, and to feel better, and he responded right away to that. Maybe he was busy. I think I have this notion that since we aren’t together in person and if we aren’t talking that things are not good or progressing, which is not necessarily the case. I also find myself trying to clear my weekend just in case he wants to take me out, instead of making plans with my friends. I shouldn’t be doing this. I should be living my life and he should be trying to get in it.

 

Then I’m paranoid that the person I’ve been talking to just wants to sleep with me. He’s very suggestive sometimes, but not all the time. Part of me worries that he will just want that and then this whole thing will be over. I look forward to talking to him every day and then it will end. I do not just sleep with people. I like to date a bit beforehand and have some sort of monogamy.

 

Maybe I’m overthinking all of this. I want him to get to know me and not be all uptight and worrisome. I’m afraid I’m going to be all shy and quiet and lame when we meet. Trying to be this perfect girl that I need to almost sensor myself and be more passive. I’m trying so hard not to be this way. He’s just seems to cute and I’m excited. I keep trying to bring myself back down to earth. I haven’t met him yet. We have to meet in person and see what happens. I might hate him. I might like him. I need to remember that he should impress me. He should be trying to win me over, not me chasing him. Its so hard. So far, he seems pretty perfect for me, which doesn’t happen often.

 

Any advice on keeping things casual, fresh, the conversation flowing, and me relaxed and myself?

Edited January 6, 2017 by amkxoxo

[amkxoxo]

So I was actually pretty confident things were going really well. His texts everyday and talking back and forth for hours. He's nice and he flirts a ton with me. This is the guy who told me one time that "You'd have a lot more fun if you were here with me" and "I heard girls from ___ are really cute"

 

We have a running joke that I need to be more "fierce" because I'm really passive, sweet, and shy. We've talked about it a bunch of time.

 

Now I'm questioning everything. It could be nothing, but tonight he texts me "hey you" and as always I respond hey too. He's apparently still sick. I think its great he's texting me on a Friday night and every Friday he has been. You would think Friday would be a night for other things. I've had guys text me Sunday through Thursday and ignore me on weekends for other things. Again leads me to think he's interested and putting in effort.

 

And then he says "How's my fierce new friend doing tonight?"

 

NEW FRIEND

 

FRIEND

 

is he friend zoning me?

 

What the heck?

 

Kinda freaking out!

[PinkPampies]

You. Have. Not. Met. Yet.

 

You're over analyzing every text, time between texts, context of texts, quantity of texts. I repeat... You haven't even met yet.

 

He may:

-Get bored and stop talking to you

-tell you about his girlfriend one day

-turn our to be a bored woman

 

Keep life in perspective.

[amkxoxo]

I know, I know. I talked to a close friend and she also thought I was overreacting. After he said that we started flirting heavily and it made me happy again. Now he tells me he is going on vacation with his family tomorrow so we won't see each other. I don't know when he is going to be back. Then he's only around for a week and then he goes back to school. Not a lot of time to meet unfortunately. Makes me sad because I really like him so far.

 

Also, at this point I don't understand why he talks to me, flirts, and asks how I am every single day, when he is leaving so soon. He will be at school 5 hours away. Sounds impossible to me. I talked to some of my female friends and they said so far since he's been super nice and not pushing to see me to sleep with me, it sounds like he doesn't get many opportunities to meet woman and probably saw me on Facebook and thought I was cute, so talking to me that way was the only way he could. I guess it makes sense. I'm sad he's leaving and we don't have the time to try and grow something if possible. We may get together and really like each other, but dating from 5 hours away is so hard and I doubt he would want to.

 

Its strange too because I saw a psychic late last year and I've seen her before. She has told me stuff and weeks later it all comes true as she said it. She told me she saw me meeting someone, but we don't end up together right away and we re-connect and end up together at a later time.

Edited January 7, 2017 by amkxoxo

[spiderowl]

It seems like you need to meet him before you worry any more about this and what it all means. He has the flu so it is not surprising his texts are less sparkling than usual. It is great he is texting at all if it is real flu.

 

Are you giving him enough positive responses that he knows you would be interested in meeting him? You said he kept hinting so that is a sign he'd like something positive back from you too so that he can then suggest an actual meeting. From what you say you had got round to arranging to meet then he was sick.

 

I'd give him a bit longer to recover and arrange to meet again. If he doesn't make it this time and turn up, then maybe cool things off. Some people just like someone to chat to. It is hard to know whether that is the case here or not. He sounds very interested in you.

 

Whatever you do, be safe, meet in a public place, don't give enough information so that he can work out where you live or work. Wait until you meet him to see how this goes. If you two have a real connection, then it will take a lot to break it.

[amkxoxo]

thanks for the response. I'm trying to chill a bit more now that he is on vacation with his family and just live my life as I normally would.

 

He texted this morning before he was at the airport and that was nice. He also messaged me when he got to his destination.

 

His family is visiting family far away, and this afternoon he sent me a cute picture of him as a baby, he must have seen at his relatives house. I think thats a good sign.

[hippychick3]

thanks for the response. I'm trying to chill a bit more now that he is on vacation with his family and just live my life as I normally would.

 

He texted this morning before he was at the airport and that was nice. He also messaged me when he got to his destination.

 

His family is visiting family far away, and this afternoon he sent me a cute picture of him as a baby, he must have seen at his relatives house. I think thats a good sign.

 

OP, you're living in a fantasy. The only "good sign" would have been actually meeting up with you in person. And that ship has sailed. You are basically pen pals and I would be SHOCKED if he ever actually followed through with meeting you. You are severely limiting yourself on opportunities to meet eligible and available men. There are plenty of them out there. You deserve better than this.

[amkxoxo]

Who texts someone every single day and heavily flirts with them if they aren't interested?

 

My only thing that I'm worried about is that flirting to me isn't intelligent. It doesn't take someone being smart to flirt. Sometimes I like having intelligent conversations. Or just plain old interesting conversations about movies, music....anything we could talk about ghosts or aliens or history. Just stuff and our opinions. I feel like he isn't as invested as I am in that. He asks me how my day was and he will ask me questions. He's really funny. He always throws jokes at me and I try and keep up sarcastically. He's better at being swift than I am. We just always end up flirting. Some nights he seems really into it and others not so much. Same with me. Sometimes I have quick witty flirfacious comebacks and I'm super into it. Some nights I just let it die. Maybe this is normal?

 

My friends have told me that if we do meet in person we will probably have more of those conversations about life and interesting topics.

[hippychick3]

Who texts someone every single day and heavily flirts with them if they aren't interested?

My only thing that I'm worried about is that flirting to me isn't intelligent. It doesn't take someone being smart to flirt. Sometimes I like having intelligent conversations. Or just plain old interesting conversations about movies, music....anything we could talk about ghosts or aliens or history. Just stuff and our opinions. I feel like he isn't as invested as I am in that. He asks me how my day was and he will ask me questions. He's really funny. He always throws jokes at me and I try and keep up sarcastically. He's better at being swift than I am. We just always end up flirting. Some nights he seems really into it and others not so much. Same with me. Sometimes I have quick witty flirfacious comebacks and I'm super into it. Some nights I just let it die. Maybe this is normal?

My friends have told me that if we do meet in person we will probably have more of those conversations about life and interesting topics.

 

Someone who wants a penpal

Someone who's bored

Someone who likes to flirt with no intention of acting on it

Someone who likes his ego stroked with the positive feedback he's receiving

 

Nothing about living in a fantasy world is normal. It doesn't seem you're listening to what people here are telling you.

 

Good luck.

[amkxoxo]

Maybe its hard since you don't know me and know what this guy and I talk about for hours.

 

Maybe your right

 

My friends and family think he is very interested. I mean who texts a girl all night while playing poker on a guys night? I've dated nice guys and they don't do that, while this guy did.

 

Last night we were texting as we always do. I bust his chops saying how he is all talk and no action. I'm only about half joking.

 

As we were saying goodnight, which we always do. He said goodnight and then I did, and then he sent me a kiss heart emoji face. The one where its kissing and a heart comes out of its lips.

 

I was very surprised. We haven't met and he sends that. I mean my ex and I used to send those, but we had been dating for a while before we did.

 

I don't know if he sent it to try and show me or prove something since I always call him out on no actions just words.

 

I didn't send one back. I haven't met the guy. I'm trying not to read to much into it as well. I want to meet him in person, see how it goes, then make my assumptions. If we never meet, then it was fun, and I have a new friend.

 

But to me, friends don't send friends heart kiss faces.